Perfect
by IM1LuckyWoman
Summary: Edward seems perfect. He's gorgeous, sexy, sweet...and way more experienced than Bella thought he would be since he's only 17. Should it matter to her then that she is older?  Is it right? Is it wrong? Is it...perfect?
1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

"Would you mind if I went with you?" he asked. "To the movies, I mean. I think I'm as bored as you are." He paused. "I could even drive us…if you'd like."

While he was saying these things to me, Edward's deep green eyes sought mine and then the floor and then mine again. Was he actually feeling uncomfortable asking me this in front of our parents? Was he wondering what they were thinking about it? I had noticed that both sets of parents, his _and_ mine were watching us with some curiosity since we'd come into the room. Did they suspect something? They had to think this was a completely innocent request, right?

I mean, why would they think otherwise? They knew Edward and I had hardly spent any time together before now and that time had been weeks ago, when my parents had volunteered me to host him at my university so he could see if he liked it well enough to accept admission there himself.

And that was ALL they knew.

CHAPTER ONE

"But, Bella," my mother had said then, "he's such a nice boy, and you know what good friends your dad and I have become with his parents." It seemed the Swans and the Cullens had become bosom buddies the last few years I'd been away at school…ever since Edward's younger sister, Alice, and my younger sister, Angela, had discovered each other at gymnastics class and had become fast friends. Apparently our families attended meets together and also just generally socialized every chance they got.

"He's already been on visits to three universities and none of them seemed to suit him, though I'm sure he'd be accepted by all of them. He's an honor student, after all." she went on. "He's very interested in your school…in fact, he's already sent in his application, so if you could just show him around one weekend, your father and I would really appreciate it….and so would Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. Please, sweetheart, as a favor to us?" Silence then…the dramatic pause…for effect. "It's your decision, though…of course." There it was...the final nail…hammered in _just so._

I hated when my mother asked for favors that way. She was smart, of course, to ask me in person…when I was home for the weekend. I might have had better luck turning her down had she asked me over the phone…where I wouldn't have seen her hopeful 'I know you'll do the right thing' expression. Aauuuggghhh!

"But, Mom," I began, "he's only going to be a freshman. I'm a junior. He's just…" I had started to say "a kid"…and then I remembered how the last time I'd seen him, when I'd been conned into attending dinner with both families on a weekend visit home, he hadn't seemed a "kid" at all anymore. He had somehow grown without me noticing and was now easily at least six feet tall. He had somehow gotten more defined muscles…and facial hair…and a deeper voice…and…whoa! Stop! He was STILL a kid…not quite eighteen…and I was twenty, for God's sake!

It was my decision, she had said. Yeah, right…and if I made the selfish choice and said I really didn't _want _to play babysitter/tour guide to Edward, there would be no recriminations, no sighing and looking disappointed in me…but I knew she _would_ be disappointed all the same.

My mother rarely asked much of me, so being more concerned about how Edward's visit would cramp my social plans for the weekend than about how this would make my mother happy…well, it was a serving of guilt for which I just didn't have an appetite.

As a result, I had agreed to "host" him for a weekend the following month. I made arrangements with one of the guys in my circle of friends to let Edward stay in his room in the dorm. Emmett didn't have a roommate, so at least Edward would have a bed to sleep in; he wouldn't have to bring a sleeping bag and sleep on the floor.

The dorm was co-ed, alternating rooms, so Edward would be staying just down the hall from my room. That would make it easy to pick him up to go do the obligatory things that were expected on a weekend like this, but he had a convenient place to go so he wouldn't be completely underfoot…if I wanted to do something without him tagging along. At least, that's what I told myself then. No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself enjoying his company so much that weekend.

Edward had ridden the bus from our hometown and I had actually met him at the depot (this was a suggestion from my mother who knew I couldn't "direct" my way out of a paper bag). San Francisco was not always easy to navigate for someone new to the ways of its myriad hilly, dead-end or one-way streets and avenues…or to someone trying to make transfers from one bus route to the next when you really weren't quite sure where you were going. It had taken me the better part of my first year to learn the routes I needed to know to function as a college student in the City.

His bus arrived only a few minutes late and, completely unexpectedly, my heart did a little flutter when I saw him walk down the steps. His hair was a bit longer…and wilder…than I remembered it from a couple of months before. It was an amazing coppery brown…with spun gold highlights where the sun kissed it as he stepped from the shadow cast by the bus. I watched as he scanned around the lot where the bus had parked. We'd talked briefly on the phone the week before, but I hadn't told him exactly where I'd meet him…in the terminal or outside. It gave me a minute to just stare at him. "For fuck's sake, Bella!" I chastised myself. "Get a grip! He's seventeen years old!" Reminding myself of that very important fact was equivalent to being doused with a bucket of ice water. I cooled down instantly!

I stepped from under the overhanging roof by the doorway to the terminal and almost lost it again when I saw his dazzling smile as his eyes met mine. He looked seriously happy to see me. Must just be a sense of relief that he wasn't going to be cast adrift alone in the big city, I told myself. I mean…we…he and I…hardly knew each other, so there'd be no reason for him to look that pleased. Yeah…it was just that I was actually there to meet him. That had to be it.

He casually slung his duffle bag over his shoulder as he walked toward me. It was apparently his only luggage since he didn't even look over to where the driver was unloading other bags. The distance between us gave me just enough time to take in how nicely his worn, knee blown button-fly jeans hung on his hips and how snugly his long-sleeved tee hugged the muscles of his chest, and the way the sleeves were pushed up just enough to show the perfect amount of coppery gold hair on his forearms…and then to give myself a virtual "smack upside the head" to bring me back to my senses! Having him here for the entire weekend might not be such a great idea if I couldn't stop this…now! WHY was I finding myself so attracted to him?!

"Hi, Isabella", he said. "It's really nice of you to take the time to meet me. I think I probably could have found the campus on my own, but this is great. We'll have time to talk a little before we get there, right?"

"Oh, please Edward…it's just Bella, okay? The ISAbella thing belongs to the parents…at home only. And…yeah, not a problem meeting you here. It really was easier for me. I'm terrible at giving directions so this really is for my benefit as much as yours. It saved me looking like a fool trying to make sure I gave you the right Muni bus numbers and explaining where you'd need to transfer and all that. Plus, we _will_ get a little time to talk too. I'm sorry I don't have a car, but they're more of a hassle here than an asset, especially when you live on campus. Parking is a nightmare!"

'STOP blathering!' I thought to myself. 'Jeez!' I quit talking and made myself smile at him instead and I was rewarded with another sparkling show of his perfect teeth.

"It's alright," he said. "I don't have a car either. That's kind of odd, I know, but not knowing where I'd end up for school made it…well…I mean, what if I choose somewhere that doesn't even let freshmen _have_ cars? It would kind of be a waste of money to have bought one that I couldn't even use."

"Good point." I said. And then, "So…I guess we can go."

I turned to walk into and through the terminal to the main street outside. Edward kept pace quietly beside me, shortening his steps to match my stride. I was 5' 5"…not exactly short, but his long legs were definitely capable of a much bigger step than mine were. We walked up the block until we came to the right stop for the bus that would take us part way to campus.

"Um…make sure you take a transfer when you get on. We have to change buses once. I've got your fare." I told him.

"No…I can pay for us." he said, looking a bit uncomfortable and reaching toward his back pocket for his wallet. "I can't let you pay for me."

"Edward…it's bus fare. It's not a big deal. You can pay next time. I've already got it out. See?" I showed him the money I'd taken from my pocket. He still looked uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything. The minutes stretched out and we both became very interested in looking down the street for an approaching bus. Well…this was certainly a great way to start the weekend!

Edward broke the silence, "You really do have to let me pay next time. Or, I can buy dinner tonight."

"Um…I thought we'd have dinner in the Commons. That's what we call the campus dining hall. The food alone may change your mind about even _considering_ coming to school here."

There was a little furrow of skin between his brows as he frowned slightly. He looked so serious that I had to smile.

"I'm kidding, Edward." I said. "It's really not that bad. I'll point out the things you definitely DO want to stay away from…and you'll be fine choosing from the rest. No students have been lost to starvation or poisoning yet…at least, not while I've been here." I got a smile in return for that.

The city bus arrived while we were talking and we boarded…both of us getting our transfers and luckily also getting a seat. Things were looking up!

Edward had let me scoot in so I was by the window and then he sat down next to me, putting his duffle on the floor between his feet. His leg brushed mine, touching from knee to hip and I thought he would move away, but he didn't. Instead, he settled a bit closer, so that he was now pressed lightly against me. I felt the heat of his leg seep into mine and as much as I told myself I should shift and move closer to the window…I didn't. I was sure he didn't mean anything by the contact, he probably wasn't even aware he was doing it, and I didn't want to embarrass him by acting like it bothered me.

Once the bus began moving again, we actually did start talking. It was the small talk of people who were still at that awkward stage of trying to get to know one another. I mean, we had spent _some_ time together when our families converged for an activity, but we really had paid little attention to each other. The difference in our ages had seemed greater to me then than now. We'd had nothing in common….I was sure of it.

But now, as our small talk turned to topics like books and movies and which shop had the best ice cream at home, I was surprised to find out that we shared some favorites and could have a good "discussion" about the things where our opinions differed. We continued talking as we transferred to our second bus, the one that would take us to the university. I hadn't noticed at first the odd way Edward had looked at me as I stepped around him in the aisle so I could take the lead in leaving the bus. When I _did_ notice, I was just puzzled. He looked a little annoyed with me. But why? I wondered, but didn't ask. We talked, transferred to the second bus and all traces of annoyance disappeared. Curious….

"Well…_that_ was the shortest amount of time it's ever taken to get here." I said soon after. I really was surprised at how quickly we'd gotten to campus. We'd be getting off on the next block.

"I think it's because there was such good company to help pass the time." Edward said, smiling again. "I really enjoyed our conversation."

"So did I." I told him…and I was a bit surprised that it was the truth. He was interesting and fun to talk to. 'Hmmm…this weekend might not be a total pain in my ass after all', I thought. 'Go figure.'

Edward stood and began walking down the aisle of the bus. I followed. When the bus stopped and the air hissed as the door opened, I thought he'd stand aside and let me step out first, so I was surprised when he made a point to stay in front of me and started down the steps. 'Okaaaaayyy', I thought to myself. 'So he's _not_ Mr. Polite all the time. No biggie.' I ate those silent words when, at the bottom of the steps, Edward turned and offered me his hand.

I must have looked a bit surprised, even as I took it, because he quickly said, "My dad always told me a man should go down stairs first and then help the lady, so she won't fall. Corny, I know….but I always hear his words in my head and I just have to do it and, well…" his voice trailed off and he looked embarrassed. I had to smile when I saw the slight blush creep from his neck and up to his cheeks. So maybe _that _was why he'd been a bit annoyed as we got off the first bus? I hadn't let him be a "gentleman"? It was so sweet! Who WAS this guy? And why the fuck was he so young?!

"No! It's very sweet…great really. Makes perfect sense. Thanks. Uh….my hand?" I said as I tried to extract it from his, now that I was safely on the sidewalk and the bus was lumbering away.

"Oh! Sorry!" he said and released his grip. His self-conscious look changed into a shy grin. "Nice hand."

"Umm…thanks?" Awkward pause by me…and then…"Well, let's get to the dorm and drop off your duffle and decide what you want to see first. Okay with you?"

He only nodded and continued to grin slightly as we headed toward a walkway between two of the classroom buildings. Once on the path, still making small talk and finding it surprisingly easy to do so, it was a relatively short walk to the dorms. My room and Emmett's were on the 8th floor…not the "penthouse suites", but at least our rooms each had a view of more than the wall of the next building over.

I already had Emmett's spare key, since that meant he didn't have to wait around to let us in to his room so…upon exiting the creaking and VERY slow elevator at the 8th floor lounge, I steered Edward to the left and down the hall.

"Here we are." I announced. "This is where you'll be staying…with my friend, Emmett. I don't think he's here at the moment."

My assumption was verified when a knock on the door went unanswered. I unlocked the door and walked in ahead of Edward. To Emmett's credit, he had gathered his mess pretty much to one side of the room so that the bed where Edward was to sleep could at least be _seen_. He also had snagged an extra set of clean sheets from somewhere and they and a couple of blankets were folded and placed at the foot of the bed. 'Reminder to self…buy Emmett a beer next time someone ordered pizza _and_.' (Well…pay for the beer anyway, I amended in my mind, 'cause I wasn't old enough to actually be the one buying just yet.)

"So…," I turned to Edward, "…what do you think? Will you survive a couple of nights here?"

His gaze was still roaming around the room. "It's not bad, really. Are all the rooms like this?"

"Well," I said, "They all come with a bed, a desk and a chair. The shelves and closet are built in, as you can see. All the comforts of home. Anything else you see in anyone's room, they brought in."

"It's cool. Where's _your _room?" I had been wandering about the room but his tone stopped me in my tracks. THAT sounded like more than a casual question…but I had to have misread his tone.

"Umm….I'm just past the elevator the other way. In 820. Not far." I swallowed and tried to look casual. "So…shall we just kind of check out the campus first. I can show you where most things are anyway. Just leave your duffle bag on the bed. Bring a jacket though…it gets breezy quickly sometimes…in the afternoon…and it'll be cold and probably foggy before you know it."

"Sure", he said…and unzipping his bag pulled out a hooded sweatshirt. "Will this do?" It was green, like his eyes.

"Yeah…perfect. Let's go." I made my way back to the door and Edward followed, holding his sweatshirt loosely at his side in one large, long-fingered hand. Why did I keep noticing all these details about his body parts? I mean…seriously!

Once outside, the mood seemed to lighten up a little, and we spent the next couple of hours wandering the campus. It was actually kind of fun giving him a tour of the huge science building (where most of his classes would be if he got accepted as a chemistry major and decided to come here), the liberal arts buildings where I had most of my classes, the library and the other points of interest like the gym and pool, the on-campus café and the other dorms. By the time we finished up, we'd toured, or at least seen the exterior of, all there was to see.

It was 6:30 when I stopped in front of the dining hall. It wasn't terribly busy tonight, since it was a Friday and lots of students headed off campus as soon as their last class was over. We probably could have joined some of my friends for dinner out somewhere, but I'd been kind of hesitant to do that. I didn't know how they would react to Edward visiting me. Now…I wish I'd chanced it because the alternative was that we would probably be sitting alone, just the two of us, through our entire meal.

Sometime during our walk to the commons, Edward had put up the hood on his sweatshirt, and when I turned and looked up to ask him if he was ready for dinner, my words stuck in my throat…just swelled there and stuck. The hood framed his face and, without the distraction of his beautiful hair, I was struck once again by the intense green of his thickly lashed eyes and, for the first time, also _really _noticed the angular planes of his jaw which, now that it was this late in the day, had taken on the sexiest stubble I'd ever seen. He certainly didn't LOOK like your typical 17 year old "boy". Fuck!

I cleared my throat and kind of croaked "Are you hungry?" Inside I was saying a prayer that I could get through this and then maybe tomorrow I would be "sick" and he could just explore the city on his own or even go home a day early. After all, I HAD shown him the campus. I'd been _nice. _That was my job, right? I'd fulfilled my commitment to my mother. I really needed to get out of this as soon as possible because I didn't understand why I was feeling so warm and weird when I looked at him, but I didn't like it and it couldn't be right.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked…and he really did look concerned. "You sound a little…odd."

"I'm okay…really. Just a frog in my throat or something." I made a pretense of clearing the "frog". "So…are you…hungry?"

"Sure. Let's go eat." The smile that accompanied those simple words did NOT help my mental OR physical state. I WISHED he would quit _doing _that!

Somehow, I made it through the next hour though I have no memory of what we talked about or what I ate or whether I made a complete ass of myself. I didn't seem to be able to stop staring at him. The odd thing was, he seemed to be staring back and looked not in the least uncomfortable about it.

After dinner, we walked back to the dorm and as the elevator spit us out on the eighth floor, I paused.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"Well….I've got a really big paper due early next week and I've been procrastinating and, this is really rude of me, but I think I really need to work on it and so I hope you'll understand but I think I'm calling it a night." It was 7:45 PM. 'Really?' I asked myself. 'How many times had I just said "really"?!' God! I was a complete moron around this guy.

"You remember Emmett's room number, right? He'll probably be out really late, but he knows you'll be there so that's all good. I hope he doesn't wake you. I'll come get you for breakfast about 9 tomorrow. The bathroom and showers are at the end of the hall. They're not co-ed…don't worry. I'll…uh…see you in the morning."

And with that I turned, ready to practically _run _to my own room since I knew I'd been making a fool of myself almost since the moment I met him at the bus and it just had to stop! But before I could take one step in the direction opposite of that which Edward had to take, his large, warm hand engulfed one of mine and stopped me in my place. He gently pulled me a step closer to him.

"Wait…Bella…please." I melted…and waited. "I understand about your paper. It's okay that you have to study tonight. I'll be fine on my own. I just….well….I wanted you to know I really have had a great afternoon with you. I know this wasn't your idea…to have me come here this weekend. I'm sorry you got roped into it. I…I think I'll probably just go home tomorrow instead of Sunday, but I think I would like to have breakfast with you first. So, I'll be ready…at 9. But…" he paused and grinned a little, "I think it would be a good idea if you gave me the key to Emmett's room…don't you?"

Crap! I was _completely_ stupid in his presence. "Oh….yeah…why didn't I think of that? Ha ha!" I tried to play it off. Did it work? Of course not; I still felt stupid. I reached into my jeans pocket, took out the single key and placed it in Edward's upturned palm. With that, his other hand released mine, he turned away and walked off toward Emmett's room.

I stood there…feeling like a total idiot. Here he was, just being a nice guy who only wanted to check out a school he might come to and I was obsessing over every glint of his hair and sparkle of his eyes and touch of his hand and…it was ridiculous because there was no way he was feeling anything for _me_…and I had really let my imagination get away from me and he was too young anyway. Wow! I needed help! I turned slowly toward my room and walked on wooden legs down the hallway to my door.

Once inside, I pulled off my jacket, threw it on the bed and then plopped down next to it. I was grateful I had the room to myself. My roommate, Rosalie, had gone off for some Spring skiing and wouldn't be back until Sunday. At least I didn't have to survive her rigorous interrogation of why I seemed so "strange". Rosalie always picked up on my moods and just HAD to know what was going on and I didn't think that was something I could handle right now. Fuck! _I_ didn't even know why I _was_ so "strange" about this guy.

I was glad I'd bailed early on Edward tonight. I needed to clear my head and put things in the proper perspective here…and being with him made that nearly impossible. I mean…I seemed to be able to do it for short periods of time…and then I'd find myself noticing the little moles on his neck, and the way his slight Adam's apple moved when he talked, and how he pulled on his left eyebrow when he was concentrating on what he was saying…and I'd be lost again. He _REALLY_ needed to go home. All I had to do was get through breakfast tomorrow and then get him back on a bus. Surely, I could do that.

Knowing I was staying in for the rest of the night, I figured I might as well get comfortable, so I changed out of my jeans and into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. I decided I _would_ actually do some reading for my paper. I hadn't lied about having one to write…it just wasn't due quite as soon as I'd said.

I gathered my reference books and dropped them on the bed. Looking around for a pencil, my eyes landed on the little bathroom caddy sitting on my dresser. 'Oh yeah….might as well wash my face and brush my teeth before really settling in', I thought to myself, so I grabbed my stuff and headed down the hall to the women's bathroom.

Five minutes later, I was makeup free and fresh breathed. At one time, this dorm had been all men, so the bathroom had been converted…split down the middle…women on one side and men on the other. One of the guys, Jasper, was always singing in the shower and the partition was so thin, it was like being in the shower with him…free concert! I was just leaving "our" side when I caught a flash of movement from the corner of my eye and came to a dead stop.

_**He**_ was standing there, droplets of water still glistening on his shoulders and caught in the light hair on his chest and sliding down his flat belly into the most perfect "happy trail" I'd ever seen…right into the edge of the white towel wrapped loosely around his waist and settled low on his hips.

_**I**_was standing there thinking 'Fuck. Me.' He was beautiful. There was no other word that would do. He, thank God, broke the silence because I was incapable of speech.

"Oh…Hi, Bella. Emmett must have come back to his room while we were out because there was a folded towel at the foot of my bed. I figured I'd just go ahead and shower now, since we weren't going out or anything tonight. I, uh…well…yeah. That's what I did…" he trailed off, looking a little uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Holy shit! Was I staring?! I was staring. 'BLINK, you idiot!', I yelled at myself. It worked. I blinked and just said, "Oh, sure…that's great. Glad he thought of a towel. I'd completely forgotten that. Sorry."

"No problem." He started to move away toward Emmett's room just as I started to move toward mine.

"So," he said, "Have a nice night. Don't study too hard."

"I won't. Umm…you have a nice night too. I'll see you in the morning."

He stopped in front of Emmett's door and I noticed he had the key in his hand. If he'd forgotten it, he would have had to come to my room and we would have had to find one of the Resident's Assistants to have the door unlocked so he could get in and…I guess it was lucky he hadn't forgotten it or he would have spent at least an extra ten or fifteen minutes in nothing but a towel...while he was with me. Yeah…lucky.

"Goodnight." he said, as he entered the room.

"'Night," I managed…and continued walking past the elevators and down the hall. Once in my room, I put my bathroom caddy back on my dresser, walked over to my bed, shoved the books I'd plopped there onto the floor and plopped myself down in their place. I just lay there staring at the ceiling. What the fuck was _wrong_ with me? Seriously. I thought I really should analyze this…I mean…I was a bit worried about myself.

I'd not had a boyfriend…for awhile…like over a year now…not since the fiasco with Mike. It hadn't been easy getting over him. He'd been my first _real _boyfriend and I hadn't realized until he decided to let me know by _voice mail_ that he was "done" with me, that he wasn't nearly as invested in our relationship as I was. Funny how that had happened just a short while after I had told him that I didn't want to spend the entire next weekend of his visiting me from _his_ college in my room…in bed. I mean…I wasn't a prude, and sex was okay…but he sure seemed to like it more than I did. I just didn't get what all the hoopla was about. Maybe it was me…something wrong with me. That's kind of what he insinuated and, since he was much more experienced than I was, I'm sure he was right.

So why was I so aware of Edward…and so attracted to him? I mean, he really _was_ beautiful…and I could definitely appreciate that. But it wasn't that alone.

I'd had such a great time talking with him while we toured the campus. That had seemed the easiest time…just walking and talking. Our conversation had seemed natural and comfortable.

Even having dinner alone had proved pretty easy. He'd laughed when I told him to steer clear of the creamed spinach with pearl onions and the "Catch of the Day".

Looking at me like I was crazy, he'd smirked a little smirk and then said "So….do you think, in ANY lifetime, that I would actually be first in line for those two things? 'Cause, I have to tell you Bella, you would be SO wrong!"

I laughed too…"Well, you know, you COULD be the first creamed spinach with pearl onion lover I've ever met! And lots of people think that, since this is San Francisco, the "Catch of the Day" might be something really good. But, this is a college dining hall…and I assure you, it should be called the "Catch That's Seen a BETTER Day"." We laughed some more.

Oh well…it wouldn't matter WHY I was attracted to him anyway. He was going home after breakfast tomorrow and then who knew when I would see him again and it wasn't even a sure thing that he would come to school here so there was really no reason to worry about any of this anyway. Ridiculous, really. I don't know why I was getting so worked up about it.

I lay there for a couple of minutes trying to get into the mood for some serious studying. THAT would take my mind off Edward for sure. I was just about to get up and rescue my books from the floor when I thought I heard a knock on my door. It was so faint, I wasn't sure. Hmmm…I waited and listened. It came again, light and kind of tentative, followed by a soft voice calling my name.

"Bella? Are you there?"

Who…? Oh, my gosh…it was Edward! What?

I got up quickly and went to the door. When I opened it, there he stood….hair still damp from his shower…and STILL wearing nothing but that low-slung towel around his hips.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

What I _thought_ when I saw him standing there was "What the fuck?" What I _said_ was…

"Edward? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

He looked sheepishly at me and said "Uh…do you mind if I come in and tell you? I feel a little _exposed_ out here."

"What? Oh…uh…sure…of course. Come in." I stood back, still holding onto the door, and he stepped into my room. Keeping my eyes on the back of the door so I wouldn't be staring at him, I closed it and kind of stood there gathering my courage to turn around. I took a quick breath and turned to face him.

Fuck…He was still perfect.

"I'm so sorry to bother you, Bella," he said, "but I left my shampoo in the bathroom…" he held up the small bottle that I hadn't noticed in his hand "…and thought I'd really quickly go back and get it and I can't believe it, but I had put the key to Emmet's room down on the bed and I forgot to pick it up. I actually didn't even think of it until I was walking back from the shower. Of course…the door is locked."

"Oh, my gosh! Poor you!" I said…trying not to smile at his misfortune. "Listen, I'm sure it's no big deal. I'll just go see if one of the RA's...that's Resident Assistant...is in and can open the door for you. I had to register you as a guest, so they know you're allowed into Emmett's room. Just…uh…make yourself…comfortable…and I'll be right back."

He was standing there looking gorgeous as I left the room and made my way down the hall to the RA's suite. Even before getting there, I could see there was a note taped to the door.

"Dear Eighth Floor Residents: Special RA Retreat Weekend. We are BOTH unavailable until Sunday afternoon.

If you are locked out of your room, find your roommate.

If your roommate is unavailable, he or she is having a better time than you are.

If you got dumped, so sorry. Find a shoulder somewhere or wait for ours to be back on Sunday.

If you are bleeding, go to the infirmary.

If the dorm is on fire…what the HELL are you doing standing here reading this note? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BUILDING!

(If this is a REAL, life threatening emergency, you are allowed to disturb the Head Resident…but it had better be REAL life threatening and a REAL emergency.) - Lovingly, Stef and EJ

Comedians, I thought to myself. There was no way I was taking this to the Head Resident. I _knew_ his disposition when something YOU thought was an emergency was not something HE thought was an emergency. I just wasn't up for that.

Okay…dead end there. Edward would just have to stay in my room until Emmett got back. Shit! This was not going to be fun.

Opening the door to my room (I hadn't forgotten to take _my_ key with me), I saw Edward sitting on my bed and flipping through one of the books I was using for my research paper. He looked up hopefully. That lasted all of a few seconds. As soon as he saw the expression on my face, he knew it wasn't good news.

"I'm really sorry, Edward, but the RAs are both gone for the weekend and it looks like you're just going to have to stay here until Emmett gets back. I'm sorry." I _was_ sorry…right?

He didn't say anything at first…he just looked very upset…and then, "Well…I guess this is what I deserve for being so stupid." He slammed the cover closed on the book. "Damn it!"

I flinched.

"Well, jeez, I didn't think it would be THAT awful staying here for a few hours." I said. Edward's distaste at the thought of spending more time with me really stung. "I _wish_ I could find someone else for you to stay with since you don't want to be here, but I'm not really in the mood to walk down the hall knocking on all the guy's doors right now!"

He looked up and the expression on his face was one of surprise.

"Wait…what? You think I'm angry because I don't want to be here with you?" He stood…and adjusted the towel as it loosened and slipped a little further down his hips with his movement. His stare fixed me where I was. It was intense and…I was sure I wasn't misinterpreting this…hot.

"Well…yeah…you said this is what you deserve for being stupid. It sounds like being with me is some kind of punishment and…" my voice trailed off and I looked at the floor.

It wasn't until I saw his bare feet almost touching mine that I looked up…and up…into his mesmerizing green eyes. His hair had fallen over his forehead when he looked down at me and he ran the fingers of one hand through it to push it back. He didn't say anything, and I seemed to have forgotten _how _to speak at that moment, so we just stood there. I broke the connection first, and looked back down at the floor.

I couldn't believe it when he placed his fingers beneath my chin and exerted enough gentle pressure to make me look up at him again. I felt electrified by his touch...and his eyes…oh, my God…

"Bella," he said, as he held my chin in place so I couldn't look down again, "the reason this is punishment, is because I want so badly to be with you and I know you don't want to be with me…because I'm too young, and not cool enough, or smart enough or…well, I'm sure there are LOTS of reasons. It's punishment because I have to be here when you wish I was somewhere else. Look, I…I'm sorry I fucked up and now you have to put up with me in your room." With that, he released my chin and took a few steps back.

Now I was REALLY speechless. He wanted to be with me? He didn't mind that I was older? He felt something too? He liked me a little?

He stood there, staring at me. I finally recovered the power of speech enough to say, "You _want_ to be with me? You…you think I _don't_ want you to be here?" It was all I could manage.

"Well…yes. I mean, I know our parents arranged all this. I'm sure yours talked you into it somehow. I really did want to see the school…my acceptance actually came last week…but I was especially looking forward to seeing _you_. I've noticed you and wanted to get to know you better every time our families did anything together this past year but…I think you just see me as a kid." He paused and then... "You're not _that_ much older than I am, you know."

I wasn't sure what to say. I bit my lip, an old habit, while I tried to organize my thoughts. How to say this?

"Edward…I know the difference in our ages doesn't seem quite as big now as it did a few years ago when we met…but…you're not even eighteen yet. I…you…you're not even..." I wasn't sure I could get this out, "legal." There, I said it.

He looked at me, dumbfounded. He didn't say anything. I wanted him to say _something_…anything.

"Say something…anything." I said.

"You're worried because I'm not "legal"? He asked…and then a statement, "You're worried because I won't be eighteen for another couple of months." A pause. "Are you serious, Bella?"

"Well…yes. I mean, if I…well, if we…well, we couldn't…I mean, we can't...," I paused and, out of frustration said…"Fuck" in a very low voice that he wasn't meant to hear.

"We can't?" he asked, softly.

"What? We can't _what_?"

"Fuck…" he said.

"Oh, my God…what?" I think I was turning every shade of scarlet known to man.

"You know you heard me." When had his voice gone deeper than I remember ever hearing it? "Is that the problem, Bella? You think you and I can't "fuck" because I'm too young?" He took a step toward me.

"Edward…I'm sorry, I…I was just frustrated about not being able to get my feelings out and I…well that's the word that just came out and you have to believe me when I say I didn't mean it in reference to you and me." I stopped and took a deep breath.

"So then we _**can**_." he said.

"Can…what?" I asked in a very small voice.

He took another couple of steps until he was right in front of me again and then said "Fuck." His eyes, when he said it, bored into me and it was all I could do not to melt into the floor. Was I _positive_ he was only seventeen? Yes…yes, I was.

"Look….don't _do_ this." I said. "You're driving me crazy. You're underage…and we don't know each other…and I haven't been with anyone for a long time…and you…don't _look_ at me that way, Edward…please."

"Listen to me," he said, still standing close…so close…"I know I won't be eighteen for another couple of months…but I'm not a virgin, Bella. You wouldn't be "corrupting" me…and I sure wouldn't turn you in for "contributing to the delinquency…", and we _do_ know each other. We've known each other for almost three years. I know we don't know all there is to know _about_ each other, and I do want to know everything about you…because the one thing I _am_ sure of is that I like you…a lot…and I want you to like me."

Somewhere in the middle of saying this, Edward had taken both my hands in his and was lightly holding them and exploring them with his fingers. It felt so wonderful and tender and sweet…and, at the same time, what he was doing was sending tingles of electricity through every part of me.

Could I say this? Could I say it without feeling ridiculous and without it seeming wrong somehow? I guess I would never know unless I did it.

"I hope this doesn't sound wrong…but I _do_ like you, Edward…so much it surprises me. I've enjoyed every minute since you got here but I've been crazy because I've been telling myself how wrong it is since you're too young and I'm too old and what if I'm just lonely but I know that's not it because I've been pretty much okay without a boyfriend for a long time but I've been so attracted to you all day that I really have been going crazy and I had no idea whether you'd be attracted to me…I mean, I'm nothing special to look at and you're gorgeous and, well…I really have been going crazy. Did I say that already?"

I had to stop and take a breath and I was still so embarrassed. I finished my speech looking down at the floor…and our feet…again.

Not saying anything, Edward took both my hands and lifted them up and placed them behind his neck. Releasing them there, he moved his own hands to my waist and pulled me closer.

"Look at me, Bella," he said softly.

I couldn't.

"Please…look at me."

I raised my head and looked into his eyes. The smile on his lips had made its way to them. He looked happy. "Listen to me. You are so beautiful. I can't believe you don't see that. You have amazing eyes; they're the most unique, warm brown I've ever seen…and so expressive. You laugh with them, you know. I love your hair, how it's long and thick and I love the way these tiny curls formed around your face when the fog came in as we were walking to the dining hall tonight. You have the cutest nose…and I have a thing for freckles across a nose, so it's perfect. And your lips? Well…your lips look absolutely perfect…for kissing."

With that last, he lowered his mouth to mine and, tentatively at first, placed a kiss at its left corner and then at its right and then perfectly in the center. His lips were soft, but firm…and warm…so warm. He pulled back for a second, just enough so that he could run the tip of his tongue along my lips, teasing first the top and then the bottom…and then he pushed it gently but firmly in the middle to part them. His tongue slowly and thoroughly explored my mouth and mine returned the favor. It was easily the most sensuous, long, slow, soft, wet kiss that I had ever experienced and I wasn't sure how much longer I could remain standing. Every nerve ending I had was tingling in the most amazing way. It was a good thing his arms were around me. I sighed and moaned softly as I gave in to the best kiss of my life.

'Oh, my God', I thought. 'This is too good to be wrong.'

I hoped I was right.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

After what seemed like forever but was nowhere near long enough, Edward pulled his mouth from mine and took a shuddering breath. I opened my eyes and looked at his beautiful face. His eyes remained closed a second longer and then opened and stared into mine. He smiled.

"That was very nice, I think…" his smile turned mischievous "…but I'm sure we can do even better."

My breath caught in my throat. 'Oh, my! We get to do that again? Like…right now?' I thought. Can I handle this? Well…I either could, or I was going to die trying.

Edward's face bent toward mine and we began again. This time, I wanted…needed…to really touch him, and I think he must have felt the same compulsion because he took his hands from my waist and I felt them lightly pressing on the middle of my back and then lower…to the upper curve of my ass. They rested there, unmoving at first.

I unclasped my hands and removed my arms from around his neck, sliding them under his arms to _his _back. It was warm and muscled in just the right way and it felt so good to touch his skin. It felt so…right. I caressed the firmness of him and then felt him move his hands to the fullness of my ass so he could pull me closer. It was then I thought about there being nothing between us but my sleep shorts and his towel…because that's when I noticed the slick wetness between my legs and felt the hardness of him pushing against my belly.

My breath was coming faster and so was his. Our kiss had turned from soft and slow to one of urgency. God, I needed him…and it seemed he needed me…but…I pulled my mouth away from his.

"Edward…we can't. We really can't do this." I was trying to catch my breath and tell myself I was wrong, we _could_ do this, but I knew we had to stop.

He loosened his hold on me and fixed me with his stare. He looked puzzled…hurt…frustrated.

"But…I thought…I mean, I thought you wanted me as much as I…" his voice faded away and he started to release me.

"No! Please…don't let go of me." I quickly moved in toward him again.

"Bella…I'm confused. What is it you want me to do?" he leaned back a little and searched my eyes.

"What I _want_ you to do isn't the point, Edward. What I _want_ you to do is…fuck me." I heard the sharp intake of his breath at my words.

"Then why…?" he began.

"What I mean is that we really can't do this _now_ because I haven't been with anyone in a very long time…I've only ever been with one person before in my _life_…and when he broke it off with me…well, there seemed no reason to keep….."

I paused and swallowed and before I could continue Edward said, "…keep…? Keep what, Bella? I'm lost here."

"There seemed no reason to keep taking the pill. I'm not on any kind of birth control, Edward and, seeing as you're wearing a towel, I'm feeling pretty safe in assuming you don't have a condom on you….I mean…_with_ you." The scarlet blush was back. I hated being so "clinical" and practical about this…but I was sure that baby making was definitely not on the agenda for either of us at this stage of our lives.

"You don't take the pill? I mean…just in case?" Edward looked surprised now.

"Look," I said…feeling a slow touch of anger rising in me, "I don't sleep around. I'm telling you the truth about only having had sex with one guy before. I know maybe that's odd or old-fashioned or weird, but that's how I am. If you can't handle that, well…then we may have a problem. I want you…I do…but…" he reached up and put a finger over my lips to stop my talking.

"Bella. Stop. Stop at 'I want you'. That's all I want to hear. I want you too…more than I understand, actually, but we can wait. You're absolutely right to stop. I just didn't know. I knew you weren't like most girls…I could tell…but I never thought…Well, I'm _glad_ you don't sleep around. It's not my place to judge you, and I wouldn't, but this is kind of a different experience for me."

He stopped for a moment. "Jeez, that makes it sound like all _I _do is sleep around. I didn't mean it like that. I told you I'm not a virgin, and I'm not, but I've only had a couple of girlfriends myself. It's just that…well…guys talk and it seems like most girls I've heard talk about take birth control or have condoms tucked away in their purses or something…whether they have a boyfriend or not. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? Fuck! I'm going to just shut up now."

He pulled himself out of my arms and moved over to sit on the bed. Now he just looked embarrassed and miserable.

I moved closer and sat beside him. Neither of us said anything. It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence but I didn't know what else to say. It seemed Edward didn't either.

After what seemed much too long, he sighed and took my hand and held it between his own.

"So…maybe even kissing the way we were isn't a good idea right now. I mean, I'm finding it hard not to try talking you into being irresponsible and just doing it anyway. Part of me wants to be an ass and say 'I promise, I'll pull out'…or…'let's just fool around and I promise I'll stop'…or some other asinine line like those. Fuck! I'm pathetic! It's just that, I seriously can barely keep my hands off you right now."

With that, he dropped my hand back into my lap and stood. He walked slowly over to the window and looked out on the glitter of the city lights. Sometime during our kisses it had started raining and the lights through the rain-splashed window took on an almost mystical quality. It felt like we were very separate and isolated from the rest of the world out there. A small shiver ran through him.

"I…you…are you cold, Edward? You just shivered. I mean, I have the heater on low but, you're standing there in a towel and I haven't even thought that you might be cold and…" he turned and was looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite read.

"Bella…I guarantee you, I'm _not_ cold. I didn't shiver because I was cold. It's just my…nerves…calming down after…" he stopped. "Well…it's just my nerves."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I've really messed things up now, haven't I? It's just that, we have to be responsible about this. Both our futures would be completely changed if we…if I…I mean, I can't get pregnant. You know that, right?"

Edward walked back over to my bed.

"Come here," he said…and taking my hands, pulled me to my feet. "I am absolutely okay with us not doing…not making…not having sex tonight. I'm just disappointed because it's not easy being responsible and doing the right thing when I want you...now. I'm glad _you_ have a firm hold on reality here. One of us needs to." He smiled that wonderful, warm smile. "So, what will we be doing tonight…while we wait for rescue?"

"Well, I can find you a tee shirt to start with 'cause I need you to wear _something_ in addition to that towel. And then we can, umm….listen to some music…and talk." I ventured. "I know that sounds lame, but…it's all I've got." I tried a small smile.

When he smiled again in response, I was sure everything would be okay.

"That sounds perfect." he said.

"You know…let me just write a note and slip it under Emmett's door so he'll know where you are and so he can come and let us know when he's back." I said.

I grabbed a piece of paper off my desk and wrote a quick note telling Emmett he HAD to come knock on my door no matter what time he got in because Edward was stranded in my room.

I didn't bother to add that Edward was only wearing a towel. Emmett's teasing if he knew Edward had been in my room for what might have been hours with nothing but a towel covering his nakedness would be unbearable. Depending on what time he got in, I could let Emmett assume Edward had only been in my room a short time…just long enough to be dry.

"I'll be right back, Edward. You can look through my music…" I indicated the stacks of CDs on the shelf by my small player…"and find something you'd like to listen to." Now that the issue of sex or no sex tonight had been settled, I was a lot less anxious about having him here…even wrapped in nothing but a towel.

"Sure." Edward said and started walking over to the shelf.

My hand was just reaching for the door when a loud knock made it shake in its frame. I let out a small shriek in surprise. Edward was at my side is a second.

I recovered enough to say, "Who is it?" and heard a booming voice in response.

"Hey, Bella! It's Emmett. Hey, where is this guy who's supposed to be in my room? Hey…open the door, okay?"

Before I could open it enough for him to see Edward, Emmett continued, "I see clothes and stuff…but no guy. I'm only here for a few minutes to pick something up. Is everything…" I had opened the door a little further and he saw Edward standing next to me in his towel…"okaaaaay…?" Emmett finished as his eyes widened.

"Hi Emmett. Yeah, everything's fine now. Edward forgot to pick up the key when he went back to the shower to get his shampoo. I was just going to leave you this note…" I waved it in front of him, "…so you could come let him in when you got back. I thought he'd have to wait for hours, but now you're here!"

Edward and Emmett just stood there throughout my monologue.

I looked at them…looking at each other.

"Oh! I didn't introduce you. Edward, this is Emmett. Emmett…Edward."

I blushed when I heard Emmett say in the teasing tone he _loved_ using with me, "So…this is the "kid", huh?", and then, "Hey, Edward, nice to meet you." They shook hands in that way guys did…a pump, a bump, a grasp…something weird like that. "Bella's told me almost _nothing_ about you." Then he laughed.

"Nice meeting you." Edward answered.

"Emmett…please," I said. "Be nice."

"I _am_ nice."

"I really appreciate you letting me stay in your room." Edward told him. "I can't believe I was stupid enough to let myself get locked out."

"Eh…it happens. Can't tell you how many times _I've_ had to come here to Bella's room in nothing but a towel." He gave me a salacious look and wiggled his eyebrows.

"I swear to God, Emmett…if you don't stop this right now...! He's lying, Edward. Emmett's a consummate liar."

"Hmmm…maybe that was in a dream I had. Anyway, you ready to get let into the room, Ed?" Now that his teasing was done…for the moment…Emmett was ready to go.

"Sure…I'll be right there. Let me just say goodbye to Bella, okay?" Edward looked Emmett straight in the eyes and some unspoken thing seemed to pass between them. I actually wasn't sure Emmett would be teasing me about Edward after all. Hmmm…guys…I'd never understand them.

"Alright, I'll be there for another ten minutes…then I'm out. See you tomorrow, Bells." Emmett used his pet name for me, turned and began walking off down the hall.

"Bells?" Edward asked, raising one perfect brow. "Really?" He stepped nearer, closed the door and pulled me close to him.

"It's just his nickname for me. He's called me that since the first day we met…at Freshman Orientation. We've been good friends ever since. We got lost trying to find the tenth item on our scavenger hunt list. We were on the same team and we…um… had to…uh…try to find…."

I was rambling…a direct result of losing any coherent train of thought I might have had because Edward had started tracing along the edge of my cheek with his index finger…from my temple to my chin…and back again...and then he moved to my lips and lightly traced them as well. Why was he doing this to me?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked…breathing a little faster.

"I'm just getting ready to tell you goodbye," he said.

"Right…goodnight...We should get to that so you're not stranded again."

Edward leaned down and there was a not-so-instant replay of our earlier kisses…in other words…another perfect kiss. Would they ALL be like this? Where had he learned to kiss this well? I felt a flare of jealousy toward an unknown girl who was part of Edward's past…and then I felt a debt of gratitude to her because I was the one reaping the benefits now…in his present.

Before things could get too involved and out of hand, Edward broke off the kiss and smiled down at me. His grasped the door handle and turned it, pulling the door open as the latch released.

"I'll see you, Bella." He said with a small smile, as he moved through the doorway and into the hall.

"Yeah…in the morning…for breakfast…9 o'clock." I reminded him.

Edward was still smiling as he turned and walked away down the hall.

It was the first good look I'd gotten at his back, and I smiled when I noticed the few freckles and moles that decorated it. Oh…nice. Just like the rest of him that I'd seen.

I stared until he passed the elevator and entered the other wing and was gone.

I couldn't wait until I saw him for breakfast in the morning…and now I was sure we'd have the whole weekend because we'd gotten everything settled between us and we could make sure we were _prepared_ before tomorrow night and I was so happy and excited I knew I'd be lucky to even fall asleep. But fall asleep I did.

The rain was over when I woke and I was in as bright a mood as was possible when I went down the hall to Emmett's room a little before nine o'clock. It was a perfect day.

I knocked, expecting Edward to answer the door, but I heard a groan and then a gruff "It's open" instead. Turning the knob, I pushed the door open and peeked inside. The voice was Emmett's, and he was in bed in a jumble of blankets. Edward was nowhere to be seen but the mattress where he'd slept was bare, sheets in a bundle and blankets somewhat folded.

"Where…?" I started…but Emmett interrupted me. "The kid said he couldn't stay. He told me to tell you 'Thank you for everything.' That's it." He rolled back toward the wall.

As from a distance I heard a small voice…my voice…say "He's…gone?"


	4. Chapter 4

_CHAPTER FOUR_

I stood there for a moment…stunned into silence…even though there were so many questions swirling through my mind.

It was apparent Emmett wasn't going to offer anything else. I think he may have already been snoring as I finally recovered enough to back out of his room. I think I closed the door.

The sunshine had completely gone out of the day…out of _my_ day, anyway. I made my way back to my room and was glad I didn't see anyone in the hall. As soon as I was back inside, it was impossible to keep my eyes from filling with tears. I blinked and they spilled over and ran down my cheeks. And then those questions that I'd first thought of at Emmett's door came back to me.

What had happened between the time Edward had left my room last night and whatever time he had left the dorm this morning? What had I done wrong? _Had_ I done something wrong? Had he? Did he have second thoughts about getting involved with me because I was older? Had he just said all those things about me being beautiful…but I really wasn't attractive enough for him? Did he…oh crap…still have a girlfriend at home?

Finally, the thing I was most afraid of…was he just like so many other guys I'd had the misfortune to know who talked a good line but it was all just to get you to let them fuck you…and then fuck you over?

Since I hadn't let him do the fucking, he hadn't felt the need to waste any time _doing_ the fucking over? Was that it?

God, I hated thinking that of him, but I really wasn't sure what else _to_ think. He hadn't given me anything in the way of an explanation, had he? He had made sure he was gone before I could get there this morning. He couldn't even bring himself to tell me goodbye in person…

Wait…was that it? Last night, I had said "Goodnight" and Edward had said "Goodbye". He had said something to Emmett about telling me "Goodbye", and then, when I had said I'd see him for breakfast at 9 o'clock, he hadn't said anything at all, had he? I swear that's how it had happened.

Had he already decided then, before he even left my room, that he would be gone before I saw him again?

That pretty much settled it, didn't it? It was definitely because I had stopped us from having sex. He WAS just like so many other guys. So much for being special.

The bad part about coming to and accepting this realization was that the tears came faster and harder. I really had felt a connection, an attraction, and thinking he'd felt it too but now knowing he'd just been "acting" really hurt. He _was _a terrific actor…that's for sure. I had been completely taken in by his performance.

The good part about this whole thing was that, at least we _hadn't _made love. MADE LOVE? Who the hell was I kidding? That's not what it would have been. It would have been fucking, pure and simple, at least on his part. And after that the result, I was sure, would have been the same as what I was experiencing now. I would have gone to Emmett's room and Edward still would have just been…gone.

'That's what guys do', I told myself, and I guessed Edward was no different.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, but they were replaced by fresh ones that I couldn't seem to control just yet so I figured I'd let them come. Why the hell not? I deserved a good cry. I was alone and lonely for a guy who really cared for me and I had thought I'd maybe found one and…I'd been such a fool…

I lay on my bed, curled up and let the hurt have its way for awhile. Nothing wrong with that. It was the least I deserved. It didn't matter that it was a sunny day outside.

Inside my heart…the rain was falling steadily.

I spent the remainder of the morning and well into the afternoon in my bed. With no real reason or appetite for breakfast, it made perfect sense to me to get undressed and crawl back under the covers. Now I was really thankful that Rosalie wouldn't be back until late tomorrow. By then I was sure I could pull myself together. The one thing I did _not _want from my roommate or anyone else was too much attention, no matter whether it was for ridicule or pity. I wanted none of it.

I didn't understand why I couldn't handle something like this the way so many of the girls here at school seemed to. Why couldn't I just be furious and call him a bastard and a dick and slam doors and leave scathing text messages on his cell and tell him he was a prick for treating me this way? Wouldn't that be better than feeling sorry for myself like this?

Should I try to react in a way that was foreign to me? I did consider it, but I realized I couldn't do it; it just wasn't "me". Sap that I was, I spent the hours between breakfast and dinner feeling very sorry for myself. Tears still leaked out of the corners of my eyes from time to time and, in spite of thinking I couldn't fall asleep, I found myself waking from a light doze more than once. Having your heart crushed wasn't just painful…it was exhausting.

In the late afternoon, I decided it was time for a heart to heart...with myself. I needed to get this sorted out. A bit of a Tennyson popped into my head (my "Poets of the Victorian Age" professor would have been so proud):

'Tis better to have loved and lost/Than never to have loved at all.

I wasn't so sure that was true. I thought it might be a better thing _this _way...the way it was happening to me. I wasn't mourning a lost love with all the memories that would have included. Instead, I was mourning something that never had a chance to make those memories. Since Edward and I hadn't really had a chance to establish a relationship, the grieving period wouldn't be nearly as long. It was still sad but, I convinced myself, but this way was not nearly as terrible as the alternative.

Things might get a bit uncomfortable if Edward and I were expected to attend a joint-families gathering of some sort at home, but I thought I could best handle that for both of us. Being that I was the one who lived away, I figured I just wouldn't _go_ home for awhile. I could always say I was coming down with a cold or that I was working on a paper and needed the library here at school or that I had a big test looming and needed to study. There were any number of possibilities…and no way for anyone at home to know I was making false excuses.

Hunger and thirst finally pushed me from my bed. I guess I was going to make it after all. I had time for a shower before the Commons opened for dinner so I grabbed fresh clothes and a couple of towels and reached for my bathroom caddy. Sitting next to it on the dresser was the small bottle of shampoo that Edward had brought into my room when he was locked out last night. He'd forgotten to take it with him. Great! Reminder #1. Hopefully, it would be the ONLY one. I picked it up and decided I might as well use it so into the caddy it went.

A few minutes later I was standing under the hot spray and could feel the tension slide from my body. This was going to help. There was one shaky moment when I opened the little bottle of Edward's shampoo and the scent that wafted out took me back to him…standing in front of me with his damp hair and his teasing towel. But, I shook it off, poured some shampoo into my hand and worked it into a nice lather. It felt and smelled wonderful. I gave a little sigh…and finished up.

I was dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and back in my room, combing through my hair and getting ready to dry it, when I realized I hadn't seen or heard my cell phone the entire time I'd been cocooned in my bed. That was odd. I rarely went the better part of a day without getting at least a few text messages, and a call from home on the weekend was almost a given. What the heck?

I tried to remember the last time I'd seen it. Had I had it with me when Edward and I went to dinner? For the life of me, I couldn't remember seeing it sitting on the table and I _always _sat my cell on the table beside me. I'd been so distracted by Edward that maybe I just hadn't noticed it missing…or maybe it _had _been there and I just couldn't remember. Well…this was frustrating. Now I had to do a scavenger hunt for my phone!

As if the thought of a scavenger hunt had somehow magically conjured my old partner, there was a quick knock on the door and a "Hey…Bells! Open up. I've got something that belongs to you." It was Emmett's usual loud voice.

When I walked over and opened the door, there he stood with my cell. It was practically lost in his hand.

"Hey! This purple thing's yours, right? Found it on the spare desk in my room. You must have left it there when you let Edward in last night. Do you always keep it on vibrate…'cause you might have missed some texts or calls. You know I sleep like the dead, Bells. I only found it 'cause I heard it buzz at me a little while ago, once I finally woke up."

Emmett stopped talking suddenly and bent down a bit to fix me with a stare. "Bella? You okay? You look a little…off. You feeling sick or something?" Emmett really was like the brother I'd never had.

"Yeah…I wasn't feeling so good earlier. I'm better now. I think I'm going to go get some dinner. Are you hungry?" Maybe a little company wouldn't hurt right now.

"Oh, sorry. I'd come with you but I've got a date tonight. We're going to grab something to eat and catch a movie. Sorry, Bells."

"No…it's cool. Don't worry about it." I said. "Do I know her?" Emmett, so far, hadn't been one to have a steady girlfriend.

"I doubt it. She doesn't go to school here. She works at a Starbucks downtown. I just happened to stop there one day last week and she fixed my drink and she was getting off work right then and…well, you know. I asked her out." He grinned his infectiously cute grin.

"Ah…you grinned at her and she melted." I nodded knowingly.

"Well…you know…I just can't control it." The grin continued. "I never _will_ understand your immunity to it." The grin widened.

"Okay…okay. Just get out of here. I still have to dry my hair and then I'm going to get something to eat. Thanks for finding my phone. I had just a few minutes ago realized it was missing." Emmett still had my phone in his hand.

"Oh…yeah. Guess I should give it to you, huh? See ya later, Bells." He dropped my phone into my open palm, backed out of the doorway and headed off toward the elevators.

I closed the door behind him and took a look at my cell. Two missed calls, a voice mail and four text messages. I sat down on the foot of my bed and called Voice Mail first. As I suspected, it was my mom, wondering how my week had been and hoping I was well and telling me to call tomorrow because they were going to be out tonight and since they'd be at a party she really wouldn't be able to talk.

The missed calls were all from a number I didn't recognize. Huh…probably a wrong number. People sometimes called back, positive that they _did_ have the right number and _you_ were the one who just didn't know it.

The text messages were also from that number. Now THAT was weird. I opened the first one and my heart skipped.

'Bella hi. I've tried calling 2 times. Where are you? Call me. Edward'

'B Missed you again. Damn. Pls call me. Edward'

'Are you ok? I need to talk to you. Texting this doesn't work for me. E'

'What's going on Bella? Is something wrong?'

The calls and texts seemed to have been spaced out pretty regularly throughout the day…throughout the entire time I was wrestling with just how to handle being unceremoniously dumped. I was sure I _had_ been dumped (wasn't I?)…and now he was asking me if something was "wrong"?

What a prick!

There…THAT felt better.


	5. Chapter 5

_CHAPTER FIVE_

So…now the question was whether or not I wanted to call and TELL him that I thought he was a prick. Would that feel better yet? Probably. Could I _do _it? Doubtful. What to do? It seemed reasonable to take a little while to think about this.

'Don't do anything you'll regret later', I told myself…though why I thought I might regret it, I wasn't sure. My thoughts went back and forth while I worked on my hair. Call him? Don't call him? By the time my hair was dry, I still hadn't come to a decision. Crap. I hated when this happened…when I felt practically paralyzed by _indecision_.

It was at that exact moment that my phone buzzed. I'd forgotten to change it back to the ringtone. I answered without paying any attention to the number and before I could say anything more than "Hello?" I heard…

"Jesus Christ, Bella…why the hell haven't you been answering your phone? Are you alright? What's happening?" Edward's voice sounded almost frantic…and angry?

I tried to answer, but nothing came out but a squeak.

Silence…and then, "Bella?" A pause, "Oh Christ, do I have a wrong number? Is someone there? Can you tell me who I've reached, please?"

So now…I had a way out. Do I not say anything and let him think he's had the wrong number all day (yeah, he'd figure it out soon enough…but it would buy me more time)…or do I just dive right in and get it over with? I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.

"It's me." That's it, I told myself…don't give him anything else.

I heard a big sigh (of relief?) and then "I've been trying to get you all day, Bella. What the hell's wrong with your phone?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong with my phone." My voice sounded lifeless to my ears.

"Then why didn't you answer my calls or texts? I was really getting worried about you. I..." his voice trailed off. He must have noticed my lack of expression. When he spoke again he said, "Emmett didn't tell you why I left, did he? He didn't give you my message. Fuck! You must think I'm a real prick!"

'What do you know…he's _psychic_.' I thought. 'Wait. Emmett? What?'

"Wait. What? What about Emmett?" I managed to actually say out loud.

"I KNEW I should have made sure he was awake enough to understand what I was telling him. It's my fault. Did he tell you anything? Did you think I took off without leaving a message for you? Bella, please…tell me."

"Edward, what Emmett told me is that you told him you couldn't stay and that you thanked me for everything. That's it. That's what you told him."

I felt my heart beating a little faster. Why? 'Don't let him off the hook', I thought to myself. Do NOT do that! But hearing his voice, the smooth deepness of it…SO unlike most guys his age…was making it very difficult to keep my mind on just how much of a prick he was!

"Fuck…I knew it. Yes, I told him that, but that's not ALL I told him. I told him WHY I couldn't stay. I'm so sorry he didn't remember that part. I can't imagine what you've been thinking of me all day." He listened to the silence on my end of the line. "Bella…what HAVE you been thinking of me all day?"

"What makes you think I've been thinking of you at all, Edward?" Oh, I was _so _cool now.

"Oh. I…I thought maybe…I mean, after we had such a great afternoon…and…then in your room and…I'm sorry, Bella. I think I must have misread what happened with us completely. I'm really sorry I've bothered you. I was just stupid. I…"

I interrupted. I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't easy but I had to tell him.

"Edward, stop. I _have_ been thinking of you…all day. I've been wondering what happened. What I did wrong. Why you left the way you did. Please, I hate the way I've been feeling so…please…just tell me what Emmett forgot. Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

"Shit…there is going to be NO way for me to make this up to you. I'll tell you anyway. And then, if you tell me to leave you alone, I'll…try. I got a call early this morning…like around 6. It was my dad and…hey, did you know Emmett sleeps like the dead 'cause my ringtone is pretty loud and he didn't even _twitch_? I guess that should have been a dead giveaway that he wasn't gonna remember my message for you, shouldn't it? Damn, I'm so stupid…I…"

I interrupted again.

"Edward…was there something wrong at home? Your dad called? Is everyone alright?"

"Oh, yeah…everyone's fine. It wasn't that. My dad called to tell me that a job I was hoping to get for the summer wanted me to come in for an interview…today…as soon as I could get there. My dad had gotten a message about it. They didn't have my cell number. Of course they didn't know I was out of town. It was just lucky my dad was up early for work and checked his messages. I had to leave, right away, and it was so early, I didn't want to wake you. I woke Emmett instead…or at least I _thought_ I did…and told him. I…guess the only part that stuck with him was that I had to leave."

I tried to absorb this. Something about this didn't make sense.

"Something about this doesn't make sense to me, Edward." I said.

"What? Tell me…I'll explain. I…just want you to keep talking to me, Bella. What doesn't make sense?" he asked, earnestly.

"Well," I began, "why would a prospective employer not have _your_ number? Why would he have your dad's number? And why would you have to go on a Saturday. That's kind of an odd day for an interview, isn't it? Those things don't make sense to me." Let's see how he got out of this.

There was a short silence from his end. And then…"Oh...I thought maybe your dad had already mentioned it to you. It didn't occur to me that you wouldn't know anything about it. No wonder you're confused."

"Damn it, Edward! What the hell are you talking about? What does MY dad have to do with any of this? You're _still_ not making sense. You have one minute to tell me what's going on or I'm hanging up. It's been a rough day and I feel like my brain is ready to explode and I've had enough…really."

"It's been a rough day?" He asked softly.

"One minute." I said.

"I'm really sorry, Bella." A brief pause and then, still softly, "I never thought you would think I didn't want to see you again. Is that what you thought? How could you think that?"

"Fifty seconds."

"Okay, okay…Jeez you've got a one track mind. Now I understand why your dad told me I'd better be…"

"Forty."

I had NO idea if I was counting the time accurately, but I really didn't care.

"Your dad got me an interview with his company, Bella. They pay better than most other jobs in town and I'll need the money for school. My parents are going to help with my tuition, of course, but they expect me to do my part and help as much as I can. Your dad doesn't have my cell number, but he has my dad's so he called _him_. My dad didn't answer; your dad left a message. The interview was for today, even though it's a Saturday, because it would be shift work and I'd work some weekends. The person I'd be working for was working today and wanted to see me…today. Your dad wasn't going to question him and, as much as it killed me to have to leave, when my dad called I knew I had to get home as quickly as I could. I told Emmett I had to leave for a job interview, I'd call you as soon as I could and I was really sorry about missing breakfast with you. I actually called a cab so I wouldn't get lost making it back to the bus station. There was an express leaving ten minutes after I got there, I barely had time to buy my ticket, and I was home in time for my interview at two o'clock. The foreman wanted to get his summer hires lined up and he liked me so…he hired me. I'll start the Monday after graduation." Edward stopped and I heard him take a deep breath in my ear.

"Zero."

"What? I'm telling you the truth, Bella…I…"

"Stop, Edward. Zero…and I believe you. I'm just kind of in shock, that's all." I was.

"Shock? Why would you be in shock? I mean, I know you didn't know anything about it…at least I know that now…but it's not so shocking I would get hired, is it?"

"No," I answered. "That's not what has me so surprised. It's just that...every summer since I've been in college, I'VE worked at my dad's company…in the office. I've already been re-hired for this summer. What has me so surprised is that we'll be working at the same place."

This time the silence came from Edward's end of the call. I waited for him to say something. He didn't.

"Edward? Say something."

"Bella, I _knew_ you'd already been hired back for the summer. Your parents and my parents…they talk all the time, you know? Well, maybe you don't know. You're not home enough to know. Listen…the reason I had to get _this_ job was because I knew that if I did, we'd be working at the same place. I might have more of a chance to see you this summer…and I want that chance."

I wasn't sure what to say. _Was _he telling me the truth? _Did_ he really feel what I was feeling…that I wanted so much to get to know him better…to have a chance to see if we might have something here?

What came out was, "You do? Want that chance, I mean?"

"Yes? Of course I do. I…think we might have something good starting with us. I really felt something with you Bella. I want to see if I was right. I miss being with you already…cheesy as that sounds. You're where I want to be. I'm doing everything I can to get there." He _sounded_ sincere.

"Do you really mean this, Edward? Because all kinds of things have been going through my mind today and they weren't good. I mean…I had you on my shit list because that's where all pricks go and…"

He cut me off, "You DO think I'm a prick for leaving. I've fucked up my chance with you, haven't I?"

"Edward…you didn't let me finish. What I was going to say was that the list is where all pricks go but now you're telling me that you left today so that you could maybe spend _more_ time with me later and that makes complete sense and it's not YOU that's on my list anymore...it's Emmett!"

"So, does that mean we're okay? I want us to be okay. I know this seems quick but I can't help it. You're different…and I felt different being with you…and I liked that, a lot. I couldn't be more sincere here, Bella. Please, believe me."

And, as naïve as I may have been for doing it, I did believe him. I could hear the sincerity in his voice. I didn't think he was _that_ good an actor.

"I do believe you, Edward. I'm not sure why I do…I just do."

"I'm so sorry you had a lousy day because of this. Don't be too hard on Emmett though, Bella. I'm the one who should have made sure you got my message. I should have just taken the time to wake you…or at least write you a note and slip it under your door. I did try to call though and…" a pause, "…yeah, why _didn't _you answer your phone if there wasn't anything wrong with it?"

"Well," I started, "apparently, I left it in Emmett's room before you and I went on the tour of the campus. I guess I sat it down on his spare desk and it seems neither of you guys noticed it last night. Emmett finally heard it buzzing this afternoon…just a little while ago, as a matter of fact. That's when he brought it to me and I saw the missed calls and text messages from you. And then, you called again and well…here we are."

"I'm glad you answered. I'm kind of surprised you did, though…now that I know what you've been thinking of me all day." he said.

"I uh…didn't take time to pay attention to the number or I might not have answered. I guess that was pretty lucky, huh?"

I couldn't believe things were turning out this way. Now I was wondering where we went from here.

"Where do we go from here, Edward?"

His response made the sun come out again, cheesy as _that_ sounds.

He said, "Wherever we want to." And then, "How soon can I see you?"

The next several minutes were spent discussing just how we were going to get together again and where and when. The sad thing was, that after all that talking, we realized it was going to be awhile. There were just too many school commitments for at least the next several weeks. Not fun…but there was really nothing we could do about it. In the meantime, the phone and the internet would be our connection.

They would have to do.

_**A/N**_ _**Hang in there. I promise Bella and Edward WILL "get there"...and I'll get YOU there, dear reader...just as soon as I can.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_CHAPTER SIX_

The next weeks were a torture to get through. I did all the things I needed to do, of course; I made it to class and did homework and worked on papers and projects. I even hung out with friends and went with them for pizza or coffee. I still took an hour or two to go to Golden Gate Park where I sat on the grass listening to the impromptu "concerts" provided by various and sundry musicians playing there on a Sunday afternoon.

But my interest and attention were definitely elsewhere. What had once been the priorities of my life, were now taking a backseat to where I really wanted to be and what I really wanted to do…and, most importantly, to the person I really wanted to be _with._ All of the things I did during those weeks felt like nothing but "killing time" until I could finally manage to make it home for a weekend or until Edward could come back to the city. We still weren't sure which was going to work out first.

I think we were a little obsessed with each other during that time. You know what they say about wanting what you can't have? And another favorite…"absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Well…I became a firm believer in both those old adages. It was very difficult to keep focused on school.

We spent as much time as we could either talking or texting or emailing, but our schedules didn't allow nearly as much time as I wanted…or as he said _he _wanted. In some ways, I thought it might be a good thing we couldn't actually BE together right now. At least, that's what I told myself. Not having the distraction of his actual presence meant I was concentrating on getting to know more about him…and he had no choice but to try to learn more about me.

Had we been together, I have a feeling we would have spent more time exploring how well our lips…and other things…fit together, and lots less time exploring what was on our playlists and whether or not we believed in extra-terrestrial life and which genre of movies was better, sci-fi or suspense and which was the better peanut butter...crunchy or creamy. Yes, we really did talk about those things.

So, I tried to convince myself that this unavoidable separation was for the best. I even managed to make myself believe it for awhile. And just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore…I found I didn't have to.

I liked Professor McDermott…I really did…so when I heard on Thursday that he had been in a car accident, I was concerned. Then, when I found out it was relatively minor, but he was still going to take a couple of days off and was, therefore, unexpectedly cancelling class for Friday and Monday, I was ecstatic. This resulted in the postponement of the big exam that had been scheduled for our Monday class. Now, since the test wouldn't be given until the following week and I wouldn't have to cram all weekend, I actually had some free time.

'Hmm," I thought. I _wonder _what I should do. Silly question. Now, to call Edward and see what was happening at home.

He picked up on the first ring.

"Bella, hi! This is a nice surprise. I thought I was calling _you_ tonight. Is everything okay?" It was so good to hear his voice. It always was.

"Hi, yourself and yes, everything's okay. In fact, everything's great! I just found out my 9 o'clock class is cancelled for tomorrow and Monday. I can come home this weekend…but I can't remember what you've got going on. Was I the only one who couldn't get away this weekend because of the big exam I was supposed to have…which I'm now NOT having? Please tell me you don't have anything you can't get out of, Edward. Please?" I was literally crossing my fingers here. What? Was I in Junior High? 'Get a grip, Bella', I scolded myself.

"No…I'm free this weekend. It was you who had to make sure you were ready for your exam. When are you coming home? How are you coming home? How soon can I see you?" Yes! Edward was just as anxious as I was. I checked the bus schedule online while we were still on the phone and decided on the late morning express. We talked for a few more minutes, said goodbye and then I called home.

Charlie answered but after a quick hello he passed the phone to my mom. He was hopeless on the phone. He hated it. Of course Mom was pleased to find out my last minute plans. I didn't make it home very often anymore.

"Isabella," my mom said, "we're actually invited to the Cullen's for dinner tomorrow night. Please come along with us. I'm sure they'd love to see you and thank you in person for showing Edward around campus when he went up to visit. I know you don't always care to spend time with our friends, but we'd love to have you come. Say yes."

My mother, always aware of anything out of the ordinary, would immediately know something was going on if I accepted this invitation too soon or with too much enthusiasm. I'd never done it before, so I certainly couldn't do it now.

Edward and I had discussed how much we wanted to share with our parents about 'us' right now. The answer was…nothing. Not yet.

"Mom…really?" I was going for slight exasperation here…nothing _too_ extreme or she might give in too easily and _not _make me come along. "I'm sure they weren't expecting me so I probably shouldn't go. They might think that was rude."

"They would no more think it was rude for our daughter to join us all for dinner than _we_ would if Edward were to unexpectedly be able to join _our_ family for a meal. You haven't been around enough to know, Isabella, but we're almost like "family" with the Cullens now. You practically have a new brother and sister!"

In my mind I almost screamed 'What? Edward...my brother? HELL NO!'

Out loud I said, "Oh, Mom…let's not go there, okay? One little sister is enough. I don't need more siblings."

My mom said, "Well…you know what I mean, dear. I'm just trying to make you understand how welcomed you'll be. Honestly, I know it won't be a problem. I'll call Esme as soon as we're finished so you coming along won't even be a surprise."

"Welllllllll….," I drew out the word as if I really had to think about it.

"Just say you'll come, Isabella. I'd hate for you not to have dinner with us on your first night home in just ages."

Poor Mom. I'd let her suffer enough. I was pretty sure she wouldn't suspect anything was out of the ordinary now. I'd protested just long enough for it to be realistic.

I sighed just a little, "Okay, Mom. If you're sure the Cullens won't mind. I mean, I DO want to have dinner with you and Dad and "the shrimp" (that was my nickname for my very sweet, petite little sister).

"Perfect! Now then…what time does your bus get in?" she asked me.

* * *

><p>I opened the door to my room at home, dumped my weekender bag onto the overstuffed chair in the corner and plopped myself down on the bed. Ahhhhhh…it actually felt good to be home again…home to a room I'd helped decorate, a room that didn't feel like a clone of every other room around. A room that was "me".<p>

There was a knock on my slightly opened bedroom door.

My mom poked her head in and said "It's so good to have you home, Isabella. Are you going to take a little nap before your sister gets home from school? She was so excited when I told her you'd be here when she got home. She misses you so much."

"I don't know about a nap, Mom. What time are we supposed to be at the Cullen's for dinner?" Inside I was thinking 'Now! Now, please! Can't we just go now?'

"Oh…not for hours yet. Dinner is at seven…We'll go over at six for appetizers. It's only, what? Two o'clock is it?"

Ugh! I looked at my phone. Yes…only two o'clock. Damn it. Now that I was home, I really wanted to see Edward…like…a lot. Like…now. Then I remembered he was probably still in class. It was early. There was no option. I might as well take a nap.

"What time does "the shrimp" get home from school?" I asked. "I've forgotten."

"Your sister will be home about 3:30, and Isabella…" I playfully glared at her this time and she got it. "…I mean…Bella. Your sister is in eighth grade. She's almost fourteen, and she really doesn't want to be called Shrimp anymore, especially outside the family. Alright, dear?" she finished.

"Seriously, Mom? But it's my pet name for her… it always has been." I protested.

"Seriously, dear. I think she's just not comfortable telling you. Give it a try, at least, okay?" she smiled and backed out of my room without waiting for a response. The door closed gently.

I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. No more "Shrimp"? How was my little sister almost fourteen? I was getting so old! I'd be twenty-one in just a few months. Crap! Now I was right back to worrying about my age…in relationship to Edward's age…all over again. At least I could thank God that Edward would turn eighteen in another month, three months before I turned twenty-one. If he had still been seventeen when I had my birthday, I think I would have had to shoot myself.

I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep until I was awakened by a boisterous sister dropping onto my bed so that it jounced me awake in an instant.

"Shit!" I exclaimed as my heart jumped into my throat from the shock. Then I saw my sister grinning at me.

"Watch it…I'll have to tell Mom you're swearing." She said, changing her expression from the grin to one of mock severity.

"Yeah…it would be just like you to rat me out." I told her, teasingly. We both broke into smiles at the same time and I sat up to give her a hug. "It's really good to see you, Shri…..I mean…Angela."

"Mom told you, huh? You don't mind do you? I mean…I _guess_ I don't care if you call me Shrimp at home, but I don't think I want you to do it anywhere else anymore. Is that okay? You're not mad, or anything about it, are you?" she looked worried.

"Of course, it's okay, goofy one. I'll do my best to comply."

Looking at me sternly, my little sister said, "Great…I've switched Shrimp for 'goofy one'? I don't think so. Not unless you want me to call you ISAbella?"

"Point taken," I said. "I shall endeavor to call you by your given name…as long as you promise NOT to call me by mine." I stuck out and curled my little finger, and held it toward her. "Pinky swear?"

She mirrored my gesture. "Pinky swear," she agreed, as we joined our fingers together and pledged our oaths.

"Hey listen…I'm gonna take a shower and get ready for dinner." I told her. "I know we aren't going to the Cullen's for awhile, but I feel grimy after the bus and then the unplanned nap so…we'll talk more when I'm out, okay?"

"Sure. I'm gonna get a snack and watch some tv. See you when you don't stink anymore!" She said that last as she scooted out of my room and slammed the door.

Pushing myself off my bed, I transferred my bag to it from the chair and started unpacking. I'd probably packed more than I needed to…I was only home for a couple of days, after all…but I hadn't been sure just what I wanted to wear when I saw Edward for the first time in almost two months. I did know I wanted to look better than I had the last time he'd seen me….when I'd been completely without makeup and wearing nothing but faded sleep shorts and an old, thin tank top.

Well…I wanted a shower first and then I could decide what to wear. Maybe I'd better ask my mom how we were supposed to be dressing. I hadn't even thought about that. What if this was a "dressy" dinner? Damn! I went in search of my mother.

* * *

><p>After being assured that tonight was a "nice casual" "…good jeans are fine but please don't wear a ratty tee shirt, sweetheart," kind of night, I headed for the shower in the bathroom I shared with my sister. I turned on the water and waited for it to get nice and hot before I stepped in and let the water cascade over my body.<p>

If I'd had a doubt about my mom's assessment that my little sister was growing up, it was dispelled completely when I caught sight of all the scented body washes, shampoos and conditioners lining the alcove of the window. How did I want to smell to Edward tonight, I pondered? I could smell like ice cream (vanilla), a bowl of fruit (strawberries, green apples or peaches) or a garden (roses, freesia or…for a Hawaiian touch, plumeria). I had no idea if my sister mixed these scents, but I certainly hoped not. What a variety.

I finally chose the plumeria as Angela had apparently had the good sense to buy a set…there was body wash, shampoo AND conditioner in that one…plus, it really was a lovely fragrance.

Once out of the shower, I headed back to my room to choose my clothes. The jeans were easy…the ones with the frayed hems and a hole right below the ass, beneath the back pocket…were probably not gonna fly with my mother and if my dad saw them, they'd be in the garbage before I could stop him.

So…nice jeans it was. They were low rise and tight enough to feel sexy but not so much so that they would freak out my parents. Sometimes, you wouldn't know I was almost twenty-one.

For my top, I decided on a really pretty blouse my parents had given me the previous Christmas and that I rarely got a chance to wear it because it was just a bit too much for school. I hoped it would be perfect for tonight. It was a lovely, rich cream colored, silky material with a lining of the same fabric. The outer layer was delicately blousy, with tiny pleats that fell from the high neck to the banded bottom. Sleeveless and cut in at the shoulders, it almost looked like a halter top. The nicest part was the little pearls of various sizes that ringed the collar in three rows. I knew it was feminine…but it was also still a bit sexy in the amount of skin it bared. I knew I would feel sexy wearing it because, since it _was_ cut in at the shoulders and I didn't want bra straps to show, I was going to be naked underneath it. Yep, going braless...brazen!

As I started on my hair and makeup, Angela came into the bathroom and kept me company. We talked and laughed and generally caught up. She was really fun to talk to now. Mom was right…she wasn't a little kid anymore.

I dragged out the finishing touches as long as I could and still had half an hour to wait before it was time to leave. I got a little bit of a strange look from my mother when I came downstairs dressed and made up and ready early. I was RARELY early…for anything.

"You look lovely, Bella." My mother said. "I didn't think you would dress up quite that much."

"It's not _too_ much, is it Mom?" I asked her. "I just really love this blouse you and Dad gave me and I hardly ever get to wear it so I brought it. I could go change into a tee shirt." 'Not really', I thought to myself.

THAT got her. Poor Mom.

"Oh no, dear. The blouse is perfect. No need to change to a tee shirt." She smiled.

After killing time staring at the television, though not really absorbing anything I was seeing or hearing, it was finally time to go. My dad had called to say he had to work a little late and would meet us at the Cullen's so it was just my mom and Angela and me in my mother's car.

It was difficult acting completely nonchalant in front of my mother. I wondered if Edward and I could pull this off in front of both sets of parents tonight. I hoped so. Neither of us was quite sure what they would think about us seeing each other…and we really weren't ready to find out just yet.

I couldn't believe how nervous I was on the drive over to the Cullen's. I mean, I'd been talking to Edward almost daily ever since the weekend he'd come up to the City. We knew lots more about each other than we had then and I loved what I knew about him so far. Still, the closer we got to his house, the more nervous I grew. I was really going to have to concentrate on being calm…at least on the outside, where it showed.

And then we were there and pulling into the drive of their multi-level beautiful house that was built on the side of a tree covered hill and I had to get out and walk to the door and I was going to see him in a matter of seconds…and, oh God, I hope he still liked what he saw and that somehow we'd have a chance to spend some time together without our families knowing that something was up between us.

I let my mother and sister go ahead of me up the walk to the door. They couldn't see how shaky I was if I was following behind them. Mom rang the doorbell and I heard a soft chime from inside and then…the door opened and there he stood. Edward was as gorgeous as before…maybe more so. Was that even possible?

He smiled his welcome to my mom, said hello and kissed her cheek. He said "hi" and grinned at my sister who I think blushed (!) and said "hi" back. He moved to block _my_ way just enough so that I had to pause while my mother and sister continued into the house.

Once they were out of the foyer, Edward stepped back to let me in. As I stepped forward he moved in behind me and in one smooth motion he closed the door, then put his left hand lightly on my hip, pulled my hair away from my ear with the long fingers of his right, leaned over my shoulder and, so close to my ear that I felt the caress of his breath there, whispered "You are _so_ beautiful, Bella. God, I've missed you!"


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter Seven_

I turned to look at him and the nearness of him took my breath away. Looking quickly toward the direction my mom and sister had gone, and seeing no one there, Edward turned back to me and brushed my lips with his…the lightest touch and slightest pressure…but my body's reaction was automatic and immediate.

Warmth pooled in my belly and I felt the most tender _ache,_ very low and deep inside me. I could feel the puckering of my bare nipples under the silkiness of my blouse…enhanced by the fact that they had brushed against the fabric when I turned toward him. I was lost. I couldn't function. I had to remind myself to breathe. I had never, ever, felt like this before…not even with Mike…in fact, never with Mike.

Edward pulled back and stared down at me. He looked very serious at first, and then the smile I had missed appeared and made its way from his lips to his eyes. He took his hand from where it still lay on my hip and stepped away from me. That was the _last_ thing I wanted…but I knew it was absolutely necessary while we were here.

Edward broke the silence first.

"We really should go in…to the family room. They'll wonder why we haven't."

At that very moment, the door chime sounded, startling us both. Edward looked at me and then yelled toward the back of the house, "I've got it!" I stood aside while he opened the door…to my dad.

I immediately felt myself grow pink. Guilty! I felt guilty. I had just kissed the underage son of my parent's best friends and somehow, just looking at me, my dad was going to know it. He was going to say, "What the hell is going on here, Isabella?"…and I was going to crumble and confess it all. That's what I thought was going to happen.

What really happened was that my dad said, "Hey, Isabella. Good to have you home! Give your dad a hug, huh?" He reached his arms out toward me.

Instead I moved close enough to reach one hand up to his shoulder, then stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. I wasn't hugging my dad dressed like this. I had worn a shirt without a bra once before when I'd then had occasion to hug my dad and, though I didn't know he'd known because he hadn't said anything to _me_ (THANK GOD!), he had apparently noticed and made it a point to make my mother aware that I had not been "properly clothed". She had said those were his exact words. She was to please let me know he was not happy about it and it wasn't to happen again. No daughter of his was going to run around like some "floozy"!

The kiss on the cheek seemed an acceptable alternative to the hug because he planted one on mine in return, moved into the house and said, "Nice to see you, Edward. Your dad in back?" and then walked that way without waiting for an answer.

"Yes," Edward said to Charlie's retreating back, "he's there." Then, to me he said, "Come on. We'd better join the party." Side by side, we walked toward the sound of laughter coming from the family room at the rear of the house.

* * *

><p>Those next two hours were both wonderful…and horrible.<p>

They were wonderful because Edward and I got to spend time together. They were horrible because we got to spend time together…but not alone. It wasn't so bad at dinner, when we were all sitting around the table and there were multiple conversations taking place. We actually joined in and there was a lot to distract us from paying too much attention only to each other.

But then we moved back to the family room to just "visit". We hadn't said anything but we must have been thinking along the same lines of "don't get too close"…because we moved to opposite sides of the room before we sat down.

I would find myself focusing on him and then have to quickly avert my gaze, moving it to an object or person nearby…any object or person…didn't matter. I just needed to make sure I wasn't staring at him if someone happened to look at me. It was exhausting trying to be so cautious.

A couple of times I caught my mother studying me with a little crinkle between her brows…her "thoughtful" face. I took special care to quickly become interested in something my sister, or Alice or anyone else was doing when I noticed her expression. It helped throw her off track…I think.

After awhile the parents decided to move to the dining room table for a game…I haven't a clue which one…and the sisters decided to go to Alice's room to watch a movie.

My mom started to ask us, Edward and me, if we wanted to join the "grown-ups", when Charlie interrupted and said "Join us? They don't want to join us. I'm sure they'd have more fun talking about…well, whatever it is kids their ages talk about."

Have I said how much I love my dad? I LOVE my dad!

That's when Edward's dad suggested, "Why don't you two go downstairs and play pool or listen to music or something?" Edward and I stood there mutely…like a couple of wooden statues. Dr. Cullen, (Carlisle, he'd said to call him, but I had a hard time with that) was _sending_ us downstairs, where we would be alone, with no one else around…as in…ALONE.

Have I said how much I love Edward's dad?

"Edward?" Dr. Cullen said…beginning to look a little puzzled at the way we had both become devoid of any noticeable signs of life. Oh God, if HE noticed something was wrong with Edward and me, my mother's intuition wouldn't be far behind. _That_ got me moving.

"Yeah…_Ed_? Hellooo? I think you ate too much and it made you sleepy. I challenge you to a game of pool." I said, rather theatrically. I hoped I hadn't _over _acted it.

Edward blinked, finally recovered enough to say "Sure…sounds good. I'll beat the pants off…" he stopped dead and gulped…then quickly continued "I'll show you no mercy. Uh…let's go." To the parent's we both quickly said "Bye…" at the same time we were hurriedly exiting the family room.

"_Ed?_" he said as we left the room. "Did you just call me _Ed_?"

"Yeah...I guess I did."

"Never again, Bella…okay? Promise?"

I grinned and crossed two fingers behind my back as I said "I promise."

Edward led the way to the kitchen and then down the stairs that were located off a large pantry next to it. The stairs were perfectly normal, not particularly narrow or steep, but Edward still reached back with his hand so I could grab onto it. I took it and as I felt the warmth of his palm and fingers, an instant tingle awakened in mine.

I heard him take a deep breath and then softly say, "I guess it's a good thing they're playing a game up there instead of pool down here tonight, isn't it?"

I just nodded…it didn't occur to me that he wouldn't see my nod with his back to me.

"Isn't it, Bella?" Edward paused on the stairs and turned to look at me. I was standing one step above him. We were almost eye to eye now. "Or, do you not want to be down here alone with me?" He arched one eyebrow.

I finally found my voice. "Of course, I do. I'm happy they obviously don't suspect anything or they might not have been so nonchalant about sending us down here. I'm just…nervous."

Without releasing his hold on my hand, Edward used his free hand to cup my cheek, his thumb alongside my jaw, his fingers caressing the back of my neck. He gently pulled my face toward his and closed his eyes as he leaned in to kiss me. It was exquisite…first the small, soft tentative touch of his lips on mine, followed by his tongue pressing and seeking entrance to my mouth. I melted inside and kissed him back.

I never wanted it to end…but I was a little afraid to do _too _much here in his house, so I pulled back. I just looked at him…and he looked at me…and it was as if we were seeing everything important about each other without having to say a word.

"Come on…we'd better actually play pool, I think. Sometimes, you can kind of hear the clack of the balls hitting each other from upstairs. They might notice if it stays too quiet down here. We can put on some music too. Why don't you choose some songs on the jukebox?" He pointed to where it stood in one corner of the room.

"You have a jukebox, like…a real jukebox. Why didn't I ever notice that before?" I said.

"Because I think you've only been down here once, probably…when my parents took your family on a tour of the house. After that, I think you either avoided coming over when your parents did or you stayed upstairs with your nose in a book. Remember?" He was grinning at me.

"I did not have my nose in a book all the time…did I?" Oh gosh…I think I probably had.

"I think you did, Bella. You didn't seem to want to get too involved with us "kids", or playing pool and listening to music down here. Sometimes I thought it must be torture for you to be here…you looked so unhappy about it." The grin had disappeared.

I watched him silently as he was racking the billiard balls and looking for the little cubes of chalk to sit on the edge of the table. He was choosing a cue stick when I spoke.

"Edward?" I said softly. He stopped and turned to look at me across the table. "I was fucking stupid."

He looked surprised and then, smiling, said, "Well…don't be _too_ hard on yourself. I _**was**_ a kid when you first met me. I'll forgive you for not noticing I grew up this past year. Besides, I think you've noticed now, right?" The glittering green stare he fixed me with made me catch my breath and feel warm all over.

"Uh…I'd say that was a fair assessment…yes."

"Good. Then why don't you come over here. You're way too far away."

I stayed where I was. I was feeling ridiculously excited just by having him look at me. What was going to happen if I stood beside him?

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea." I said. "I might not be able to control myself. You might not be safe." I grinned…but I wasn't sure how much of what I was saying was really teasing.

"I don't _want_ to be safe, Bella…but don't worry, I think I can protect myself. What we need to do, though, is find a cue stick for you to use. That's why I need you to come over here to the rack. I need to see what length will work for you."

"Oh. Sure. Of course." Now I felt really dumb. I wasn't good at this flirty, teasing thing. I just wasn't. He just wanted to find a cue stick for me.

I walked over to him and stood there while he looked me up and down…as if taking my measurements or something. Then he did it again…looking very thoughtful.

"Is this totally necessary?" I asked.

There was a pause. "Absolutely…_**not**_," Edward said with a wicked grin.

My breath caught in my throat and the heat returned to my cheeks.

"Edward? Don't DO that." I said.

"Don't do what? If you mean don't look at you…I can't agree to that. You look too amazing _not_ to look at. I've had to be careful to not look at you too much upstairs because we weren't alone. Now that we are alone, I'm not going to stop."

"You always know the right things to say…but we really have to play pool now, okay? I don't want the parents coming down here to see why it's so quiet. Do you?"

Edward took a step back from me. He gestured toward the jukebox. "You're absolutely right. Please…choose some music."

"What about finding the right length of cue stick for me? How can you tell what length I need?"

The grin appeared. "Uh….they're all pretty much standard…and that's what we have. Any of them in the rack will do."

"But you said…" I started.

"That it _was_ totally unnecessary, remember? The looking was just because I wanted to. Seriously, any of the cue sticks we have should work for you. I'll chalk them up. You start the music."

Oh…wow…he just wanted to look at me that way. The heat that had been in my cheeks spread out to the rest of my body. This was going to be difficult.

I chose some music on the jukebox, though I wasn't paying much attention to what it was. Music wasn't my main focus right now. Once the first song was playing, I went back and stood beside the pool table. Edward handed me a chalked stick and said, "Shall I break…or do you want to?"

"No," I said. "You go ahead. I don't want to be first."

"Sure." He said, and walked over to stand at the end of the table. He laid his cue stick down long enough to roll his shirtsleeves partway up his arms. Then, I watched as he bent his long, lean body forward, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he grasped and positioned the stick. He was poetry in motion, pulling back and then pushing it forward in one smooth movement. I was staring. Again.

The cue ball struck hard and the other balls scattered around the table. Two of them rolled into separate pockets. Edward paused and then said, "Your turn."

"What? No it isn't. You got two in." I was confused.

"Bella, are we _really _playing a game here…or are we just going to knock some balls around the table so it's making the appropriate sounds…in between the times I'm kissing you, I mean."

I think my mouth dropped open. In fact, I'm sure of it because then Edward said, "I think that looks like the appropriate position. Why don't you come over here?"

I finally managed to close my mouth and swallow before I responded.

"No, it's my turn. I…am going to take my turn. You…are going to stay back there." I pointed. "Don't move." I tried to look stern.

"Alright…okay…I'm not moving." He said. We had ended up on the same side of the table, so he took a few steps back to give me room and then stood stiffly in place, smiling at me the whole time. God, I loved his smile.

I frowned at him.

"What?" he said.

"You moved."

"Okay, okay…_now_ I'm not moving."

I got the right grip on my cue stick, stepped forward to the edge of the table to line up my shot, stretched and leaned over. The bottom of my shirt slipped up a bit and exposed my lower back; I felt the coolness of the air on my skin. 'Oh well', I thought and concentrated on my shot. At least, I concentrated until I lost it at hearing Edward say under his breath,

"Fuck, Bella…don't DO that to me."

I took my shot and managed to scratch the cue ball because he had distracted me completely at the word "fuck". I turned to face him.

"What did you say? I…I think I heard what you said but, what did I do?" I really wasn't sure what he meant.

He took in a breath…and it kind of shuddered as he exhaled. Then, "You leaned over the table, your shirt rode up your back and I could see the dimples right above your ass. Fuck! I'm serious; that's not playing fair at all. If you expect me to stand still over here, you can't do that again. Please."

Edward ran one hand through his hair, mussing it in just the right way.

I swallowed before I spoke. "I'm…sorry?"

"Let's just play. You can have another shot, since you scratched. Go ahead." He offered.

"Are you sure? I mean, that's kind of cheating."

"I'm sure. We're just fooling around, remember?"

"Right." I said. "Okay, then," and I sidestepped a little so I could line up a new shot. Still facing the table, I said, "Edward, I do have to lean over to take a shot."

"Sure…I know. I won't look. I'll…uh…close my eyes," he said.

"Really? You'll close your eyes?" I asked, skeptically.

"Yes, I will. Go ahead."

Since I was facing away, I didn't see Edward move toward me as I leaned over again. But I did FEEL him behind me, _right_ behind me, and then touching me…his body above and molded to mine and his mouth at my ear and on my neck. "I lied," he whispered.

It felt amazing, just having him that close…but what made me practically burst was when I felt the hardness of him against my backside. He pushed himself against my ass and I felt my sex release its wetness in anticipation. I instinctively pushed back against him. He groaned. Dropping his cue stick on the table, he reached his hands around to my breasts, sucking in a harsh breath when his hands touched them.

"They're naked." He breathed into my ear. "You're naked under there. Fuck. I can't stand this." His hands cupped me and his fingers rubbed lightly against my nipples.

My breathing was rapid and I could feel that same deep, delicious ache between my legs. I wanted this…so much. I pushed back against him again and he groaned again. Then, before I could say or do anything else, he pulled away and took a step back, breathing fast and hard.

I stood and turned to face him. I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say that wouldn't sound cheap. I _wanted_ him to fuck me…but I couldn't say that out loud, could I? What would he think of me if I actually came out and asked him to do it? And how could he anyway? We were at his parent's house. It was impossible. I just stared at him as he stared at me. He broke the silence.

"I can't stay down here and pretend to play pool with you. That is _not_ happening."

"What? You…you want me to go upstairs? You want me to leave?" I could barely speak the words.

He sighed and fixed me with an intense stare.

"You always jump to the wrong conclusions, Bella. No, I don't want you to go upstairs and leave. I want BOTH of us to go upstairs and leave. I want to get you the fuck out of my house so we can _really _be alone. Now…how do we come up with a good excuse to do that?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN Be patient...we're almost there.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter Eight_

"Would you mind if I went with you?" he asked. "To the movies, I mean. I think I'm as bored as you are." He paused. "I could even drive us…if you'd like."

While he was saying these things to me, Edward's deep green eyes sought mine and then the floor and then mine again. Was he actually feeling uncomfortable asking me this in front of our parents? Was he wondering what they were thinking about it? I had noticed that both sets of parents, his _and_ mine were watching us with some curiosity since we came into the room. Did they suspect something? They had to think this was a completely innocent request, right?

* * *

><p>This was our idea to get out of the house. I, who had always seemed reluctant to attend these family get-togethers from the very beginning of our parent's friendship, wanted to go to a movie. It would be completely believable that I had now grown weary of being here. Maybe there was something to be said for having been a pain in the ass about these evenings before. I had laid the foundation for tonight, without even knowing it would eventually be to my advantage.<p>

How to play this with just the right amount of hesitation? I mean, I couldn't exactly _jump_ at the chance to have him come along, could I? That would be a definite cause for suspicion.

Before I could answer Edward, my mother said, "You want to go to a movie now? It's kind of late for a movie tonight, isn't it, Bella?"

"Mom, it's Friday, remember? The last show times on a Friday night are something like 10:30 or 11:00. There's still time to get there. I hardly ever get to see a movie while I'm at school." I have to admit this did feel a bit awkward. While I really wanted to get out of here, with Edward, I didn't want the Cullens to think I was completely rude.

Rescue came in the form of my dad…as usual.

"Aw…let the kids get out of here. They don't want to hang around with us anymore, Renee. You guys don't mind if Edward goes with Bella to a movie, do you Carlisle…Esme?" He turned to Edward's parents.

Geez…not only did Charlie just say I could go to the movies, effectively overriding my mother's concern that it was too late, but he had basically told me to take Edward along. Now, when I said yes to Edward going with me, it was because my dad had included him for me.

"Esme?" Dr. Cullen looked to his wife.

"I don't have any problem with it. I'm sure it'll be fine, Renee. Nobody has to get up early for anything tomorrow, right?" Esme looked from Edward to me and back again.

"Not me." Edward said, looking at me.

"Hey…it's my one free weekend in ages. I'm sleeping in tomorrow." I said. Then I added, including all the parents in my glance around the room, "It's fine with me if Edward wants to come...with me." (I could NOT let my mind go to where it was desperately trying to go as those words came from my mouth. Seeing the look Edward gave me, I thought maybe he was trying to concentrate on something else too.)

"Why don't I drive us then? I can take you home after, Bella." Edward said. "Can I have the keys to one of the cars, please?" He looked from one parent to the other.

And as easily as that, it was settled. A short while later, Edward and I were getting into Esme's silver Volvo. He backed it out of the garage and onto the quiet street where he paused just long enough to say, "So…what movie are we going to see, Bella?"

"Oh…I don't know. I hadn't actually thought that far ahead, to anything specific I mean. I think we'll have to find out what's playing when we get there, won't we?"

There was just enough of a glow from the lights on the dashboard for me to see Edward's expression when he turned toward me. He looked amused.

"What?" I said. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Bella…we'll go by the theater to see what's playing and what time "our movie" is starting…but we're _not_ actually going to _see_ a movie tonight."

My throat felt dry as I said, "We're not?"

"No, we're not. That's not the kind of alone with you I want to be." He paused and looked at me intently. "Is that alright with you?"

I just nodded and softly said, "Yes, Edward. I think that's…perfect…with me. Where are we going to go?"

"I have something in mind. It'll be a surprise." He sounded pleased with himself.

"Tell me," I said "...please?"

"Nope. I really do want to surprise you. I think you'll like where I'm going to take you. Don't you like surprises, Bella?"

We spent the ten minutes that it took us to drive to the theater discussing the pros (his view) and cons (my view) of surprises. It was enlightening. We had completely opposite feelings about their value.

We arrived at the multiplex to find that there was actually one movie that Edward had already seen (_I_ was telling the truth about rarely getting to the movies while I was at school), that his parents didn't know he'd already seen. He could easily share information about with me so I would be familiar with it too. That out of the way, we got back in the car.

"So," Edward said, "Are you up for a little adventure?"

"You're really not going to tell where you're taking me?" I asked him.

"Just trust me, okay?" His eyes searched mine and I softly said, "Okay."

As Edward drove away from the theater, he kept his left hand on the steering wheel, took my left in his right and intertwined our fingers. It felt so right.

Twenty minutes later, after initially driving on a small highway that lead out of town, Edward turned the car onto a side road I'd never noticed before. There were trees and bushes on both sides, almost completely camouflaging the entrance and the narrow road didn't look like it was maintained at all. Numerous potholes and tufts of grass were noticeable blemishes in the cracked surface of the asphalt.

"Edward?" I said, a bit nervously. "This is kind of creeping me out. It's pretty dark out here. Where does this road lead anyway?"

"A private place. Somewhere I go when I need to think or be alone. It's okay. You'll see. We're almost there, actually."

We drove another couple of minutes, following a number of twists and turns, and then the road just…ended. That was it. No more road. There seemed to be a widened area so a car could turn around there, but that was all. I couldn't really see anything else, but I could hear something…something muffled, but somehow familiar.

"Are we where I think we are?" I asked him. My sense of direction had gotten muddled once we'd turned onto the small, winding road.

"I don't know," Edward answered me, "We'll get out and see…but stay inside for a minute. I want to get something out of the back and I don't want you to get too cold waiting for me outside the car." It hadn't been freezing when we left his house, but it hadn't been exactly balmy either.

"Alright," I said, and watched as he opened his door and stepped out of the car. I heard him walk to the back and open the hatch. I could hear him moving some things around and then the hatch closed and he walked around to my side of the car. Edward opened my door and said, "Okay, you can get out now. I have what we need." He had something tucked under one arm and something else in one hand.

As soon as I stepped out of the car, I knew where we were…well not _exactly_ where we were, but I knew that we were near the ocean. I could smell the salt in the air and the sound I'd heard while still in the car was the hissing of the surf as the waves hit the beach.

"Oh my gosh. Edward…I _love_ the ocean. It's one of the reasons I wanted to go to school in San Francisco, to stay near the ocean. But…where are we exactly? I've gotten all turned around."

"It's actually a spot I found last year. I don't think too many people know about it; I've never met another person when I've come out here. This road was a driveway to a house or something…but whatever it was must have collapsed or been demolished a long time ago. In the daytime, you can see there's a crumbling foundation off to the right. But…we're going up the path right in front of us. Here, I have a flashlight."

A narrow but strong beam of light pierced the darkness and illuminated a pathway not far from where we stood. We might have been able to navigate the path with the light of the quarter moon and a million stars, but the flashlight made it a little easier as Edward took my free hand and pulled me along after him up the path. The air was crisp and cool and I could feel some goosebumps pop out on my arms. I was asking myself why I hadn't thought to bring a jacket…and then I remembered…I hadn't planned on going to the beach tonight.

Where the path ended a short while later, the dune began. It wasn't long before my flats were filled with sand and I couldn't walk in them anymore.

"Edward…stop." I halted and pulled him to a stop as well.

"What? What's wrong? We're almost there." He flashed the beam ahead of us and I could see the crest of the gentle dune we'd been climbing.

"It's my shoes. They're filled with sand and I have to take them off. That's all. Just give me a second." I slipped them off, emptied them out one at a time and then held onto them with one hand. The cool dry sand of the dune felt wonderful on my bare feet. "Okay, let's go." I held out my free hand and he embraced it with his once more.

A short minute later we crested the dune and a small crescent shaped beach, sandy except for a large cluster of boulders about halfway down to the surf line, lay before us.

"Well," Edward said when we reached the beach itself, "what, do you think?" He sounded very pleased with himself, dropped my hand and spread his arms wide.

"You sound very pleased with yourself." I said aloud over the sound of the surf. "It's almost like you think this beach belongs to you."

"In a way, it does, since I'm the only one who's ever here. Come on." With that, Edward grabbed my hand again and clicked off the flashlight. I expected to be plunged into near darkness…but was surprised at the amount of moon and star light that seemed to reflect from the sand and waves. It was beautiful. Edward pulled me closer to the water and then angled toward the boulders. The sand was a little damp here, but still not wet.

When we got to the front side, where the cluster faced the water, I was surprised to see that it was actually more like a wall. The collection of boulders was roughly curved and taller than Edward. Because of the curve, there was a protected hollow inside, like a shallow cave but with nothing for a ceiling except the sky.

Edward pulled me inside and then dropped my hand. "Well? What do you think?"

I turned in a circle…looking at the walls and then up at the sky. I stopped, facing the opening and the surf, watching the waves grab at the shore and then retreat with the shushing sound I loved.

"It's wonderful, Edward. So beautiful."

I was still standing there staring at the water when I felt him step up behind me. His arms went round my waist, his hands clasped together and he pulled me back against his chest. The warmth of him began seeping into me. He leaned down and I felt his breath caress my neck as he spoke, "_You're_ beautiful, Bella. I'm so glad you're here with me. This is perfect."


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N I've worked long and hard on this chapter because of the feelings I want it to evoke in you. I hope I succeeded. This is the first thing I've written so I know it might be a bit "rough around the edges", but I'm putting a lot of myself into it so...if you can, please take just a minute to review. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks, Lucky**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Nine<em>

A shiver ran through me. I wasn't sure if it was from being cold or from the nearness of him or from the anticipation of what I hoped might happen between us. Maybe it was a little of everything. Edward felt my shiver. He took his hands from around me and put them on my bare, upper arms. He ran his hands up and down, creating a little friction to warm my skin.

"You're cold. I didn't even think…I have long sleeves and you have no sleeves! I'm sorry, Bella. Here…let me get one of the blankets I brought from the car." So now I knew what he'd been carrying under his arm, but I wasn't ready to have him stop touching me just yet.

"No," I told him, "don't…don't put a blanket around me. I just want _you_ around me. I'm fine, really. I love the cold of the beach."

"Are you sure?" he asked softly.

I was…especially when I felt Edward's hands leave my arms and lightly cup my breasts through my blouse. My hands rested on his forearms, feeling the silky hair exposed by his rolled shirt sleeves.

I sucked in a breath. "I'm sure, Edward," I managed to say. And then I gave myself over to the sensation of his hands on my breasts. Even through my blouse, it was wonderful. He gently kneaded them and interspersed that with lightly teasing my nipples with the tips of his fingers. They were already tightened from the cold…and from the arousal caused by the feel of his body behind me.

"I know it's cold, but I want to touch _you_, to touch your skin. Can I?" Edward breathed into my ear.

"Yes," I moaned. "Yes…I want you to."

The stretchy stitching at the waistband of my blouse gave way enough to let him slip his hands beneath. It rode up, baring my skin, as he slid his hands from the flatness of my belly to my ribs and then to cup a breast in each large hand. The sensation was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I didn't understand that. Why did each touch between the two of us feel as if it was the first time for me? What was happening?

I heard the hitch in Edward's breath and then the quickening of it as he first caressed and then gently pulled on each nipple. He thrust his hips forward and I once again felt the hardness of him pushing against me. My own breath matched his in speed and intensity.

"Edward…I…I don't know if I can take…" my voice sounded shaky. He shushed me.

"Hush, Bella…just feel it. Just go with it." I felt him take his hand from my right breast and I wanted to protest until I felt him lean forward and to the side just a little, just enough so that his hand could slip under the low waistband of my jeans. His hand rubbed me lightly, sliding up and down over me through the thin fabric of my panties. And then I felt his fingers slip under the lace and his hand cupped me there, between my legs. My knees gave out a little then…but he was holding me up against him. I heard the harshness of my own breath.

When the hand that was cupping my sex started pressing and rubbing and Edward slipped a fingertip into my cleft, all the muscles in my stomach began quivering and I felt a small gush of moisture dampen my panties. Edward felt it too. He moaned into my ear.

The ache inside me was both pain and pleasure, and was also something I'd never felt before. I was completely baffled by the sensation. I'd fooled around with Mike. I'd had sex with him. I knew what that had felt like…and it had felt nothing like this.

"Please," I heard myself say, "please, Edward. I want…I need to turn around now. I just need to. Please?"

He moved his hand from between my legs and away from my breast and I took a shuddering breath and turned around to face him. My eyes had adjusted to the soft light. I looked up at him and was stunned at the way he was looking down at me. He looked as stunned as I felt.

"I…do you want to…" he began.

This time I shushed him by putting a finger up to his lips. He was silent. I moved my finger away, reached up to put my hands behind his head and grasped his hair in my fingers so I could pull him down to me. This time there was no tentative kiss. Our mouths were open, our tongues immediately seeking each other and moving in harmony.

We stood that way for a long time, listening to the sounds of the waves mixed with the sounds of our breathing. Edward pulled back first. I could see the glint of moonlight in his eyes as he said "Bella, I want you. I want to know what you want. Can we…make love? Please, let me make love to you. Will you? Will it be…alright?"

"Edward," my voice came out softer than I expected it to, but it was husky with the emotion I was feeling. "I…want to…and we can. It's alright. I went to the clinic at school. I'm ready. I…please…I want you."

I didn't know he'd been holding his breath until he released it in a rush.

"Just a minute. Don't move," he said…and left me to go to the blankets nearby. He opened and spread one on the surface of the sand, in the shelter of the rocks, and unfolded the other and laid it in one corner.

"It's going to be cold." He said. "Maybe this isn't the best place for…"

I interrupted him. "I think it's perfect. Now, please, make love to me."

Edward came back to stand in front of me. "I want to see you. Can I see _all_ of you first, Bella?" he asked. "You're beautiful, and I want to see you."

I couldn't bring myself to speak. His voice was soft and earnest and I found myself thinking…who IS he really? He can't be some seventeen year old _boy_. How can he be like this? I just looked at him and nodded.

He put his hands at the bottom of my blouse and started to lift it. "Wait." I said. "There's a button on the back, at the neck." I turned around and held up my hair so he could unfasten the pearl button there. I felt him release the button and then pull the fabric aside right before I felt the caress of his lips on the back of my neck. It sent another shiver through me. So did hearing him say, "Oh…God…you smell wonderful." He kissed my neck again.

Then he took my shoulders in his hands and turned me around to face him again.

This time, when he began lifting my blouse, I raised my arms over my head and let him pull it from me. He held it in his hand for a minute and just stared at me. I wasn't ashamed of my breasts, but they weren't large and I started to feel embarrassed under his gaze, until he said one word, "Perfect…"

I reached toward him and took the fabric of his shirt in my hands, pulling it from where it was tucked into his jeans. When it was loose, I reached up and, starting at the top and working my way down, slowly undid each button. With my hands inside, next to his skin, I reached up to his shoulders and pushed the shirt from them and down his arms. It fell on the sand next to my blouse. I stood there for a moment, my hands flat on his chest. Then, I moved one hand slowly down his belly, caressing the happy trail leading into his pants. He jerked as if he'd been shocked.

His hands moved to the button of my jeans then, and he slipped it free. His fingers found the pull on the zipper and it gave a raspy sound as he slid it down. Slipping his hands inside my jeans at the hip, he pushed them from me and down my legs where I stepped out of them. I was standing in front of him wearing nothing but my lacy panties. I should have been freezing now, but I didn't feel the cold at all.

Looking into his eyes, I reached for and found the top button to _his_ jeans. I undid the buttons, one at a time and helped the jeans slide down, off his legs and onto the ground. He was standing there in boxer briefs and it was evident, when I looked down at him, how much he wanted this too. I reached forward and touched him through his boxers. His breath hissed and a small moan escaped his lips. His eyes closed and he pushed his hips toward my hand. I was surprised at the size and firmness of him.

I was still touching him when he opened his eyes, grabbed my waist in his hands and bent his head down toward my breast. I gasped as his mouth closed on my nipple and I felt his tongue swirl around it and then his teeth lightly bite down on it. Then he sucked…and all the muscles in my belly and below clenched and I felt a new pool of moisture between my legs. He moved his mouth to my other breast and gave the same attention to that nipple while the one that had been released grew even harder now that it was wet from his mouth and exposed to the air. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could stand. Those soft sighs and moans I'd heard were coming from me.

Edward raised his head and stared into my eyes. "Lay with me, Bella." He took my hand and we both knelt on the blanket. "Lie down." he said softly. When I did, he straddled me and took the waistband of my panties in his hands. He pulled them down and I bent my knees and raised my hips to help him. Slowly Edward slid the bit of lace down my legs and off, dropping them on top of my blouse and jeans.

He stood then, and for a moment he towered over me while I lay there looking up at him. Moving his hands to his boxer briefs he pushed them down and stepped out of them, kicking them off to one side. It was my first sight of his completely naked body and my breath caught in my throat. The full size of him, now released from his clothing and in its current state, surprised me. He was so much more than I had known.

Edward knelt down beside me. "Are you too cold?" he asked me. I just shook my head. It was true. I wasn't. I saw the whiteness of his teeth as he smiled. "Neither am I."

"Can I touch you?" he said. "There…?" He nodded toward my belly and below. I nodded. My power of speech seemed to have left me completely. He moved around so he could push my knees up and took one of them in each hand. Then he gently but firmly pushed my legs apart and open. I could feel the coldness of the air on the wetness there. It was so sexy being exposed to the air like this…another first for me.

Edward was on his knees between my legs. He put one of his hands on the inside of my thigh to hold it there and laid his other hand on my belly where it was quivering with the intensity of my arousal. That hand moved to my mound and pressed lightly, massaging me. I wasn't sure if I could take this. The intensity was too much.

Edward lifted his hand just enough to move a finger to my cleft and I felt him run it through the slick wetness. He sucked in a harsh breath. "Oh God, Bella…you're so ready. But, not yet. I know this is going to feel good for me, but I want it to feel just as good for you."

Turning his hand palm up, Edward took his middle finger and found my opening. He pushed it inside and my hips lifted up to meet him…to take more. He moved the hand that had been on my thigh and I felt his fingers open me, exposing me even more. Then he bent and I felt the electric shock of his tongue sliding from where his finger was inserted and up to where the tender bud of my clitoris was swelling and throbbing. My hands reached down and my fingers tangled into his hair. He held me open and sucked and I moaned and pushed up against his mouth.

While he sucked and moved his tongue in swirls around me, he began sliding his finger slowly in and out of me. I loved the pressure he was exerting and felt the heat building and growing inside me. My breath started to shudder and come faster and my hips began moving on their own. I couldn't control them. That was when he stilled and moved his mouth from me, turning his head to kiss the inside of my thigh. I felt his lips leave my wetness there.

I found my voice. "Edward…oh God, please don't stop. I've never felt anything this good before. I can't…oh God, I can't tell you…"

"Was it good? Did you like it? Am I as good as he…" he paused, "No, that's stupid to ask. I just want it to be good."

"Edward…it's more than good. I…no one…I've never…" I took a deep breath and let it out. "No one's ever done this to me before…with his mouth. No one…but you."

"Oh, Bella…fuck! I didn't know. I…"

"Shut...up." I told him. "I'm lying here spread open in front of you and you've just done the most amazing thing to me and I loved it and let's just not talk about it anymore, okay. I…don't think I can talk anymore."

"Okay…no more talking." Edward leaned down and kissed my belly and then moved his mouth up to suckle my nipples as a second finger joined the first that was still inside me and he moved them both in and out, again and again before stilling once more and then sliding them from me. A moan came unbidden from my throat.

Putting one hand on my thigh again he held my leg spread and in place and grasping himself with his other hand positioned himself against me. The sensation of feeling him move up and down my slit to moisten the tip, pushing in a little more on each movement was beyond erotic. Then, without warning, he pushed all the way in and I felt him fill me completely. My hips came off the blanket as I pushed up to meet his thrust. He groaned and stilled, deep inside me.

I wanted to move, I tried to move, but he said, "No…not yet. Don't move yet." I stilled. Edward moved his mouth to my neck and sucked and nibbled and then _he_ began to move. He pushed deeply and then would slide back until he had nearly pulled out of me and then the thrust would come again. We were slick with the wetness of me and it was the most intense sensation I'd ever felt. I'd had sex…but I'd never had this.

Edward's breathing was getting ragged and he seemed to be thrusting even deeper, harder. I started feeling a completely foreign clenching and aching, more intense than I'd ever felt. I'd never had this during sex. I couldn't _come_ during sex. Mike had insinuated that something was wrong with me because I'd never had an orgasm during sex. _He_ always managed pretty quickly but I never could. I was always frustrated when he was finished.

Suddenly, Edward slid his hands under my ass, grasping me and pulling me up to meet him, then pulling himself back and pulling me up and I knew it was going to happen, for both of us. With my legs wrapped tightly around him, I felt my muscles clench and spasm and then the ache was bursting into the sweetest flood of heat I'd ever felt and everything just seemed to come loose inside me and then I felt Edward pulse inside me in response, over and over until finally he grew still and sat my ass back on the blanket and lay himself carefully over me, supporting his upper body so that he wasn't too heavy on me.

We lay that way for a short while, with him still inside me and our breathing returning to normal and then, before I even knew it was going to happen, I felt the tears fill my eyes and spill out and run down the sides of my face, into my hair and my ears. I took a shuddering breath trying to control it but a sob escaped and then another and then Edward was up on his elbows and looking down at me and I tried to turn my head so he couldn't see but it was no use. He had heard.

"Oh my God, Bella…what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?" He looked horrified.

"No…no, it's nothing. I…really, it's nothing." I tried to stop.

"It's not "_nothing_" if you're crying. Fuck! Why are you crying?" His hands were next to my head and he brushed the tears away with his fingers. "Please…tell me."

"I've never…I couldn't…this is the first…." I couldn't finish.

"You never, or couldn't what? Please. I have to know." He looked so upset that I managed to pull myself together enough to say it.

"I didn't know I could do that. I didn't know that I could come with you inside me. I never had an orgasm with _him_ inside me and he pretty much said there was something wrong with me and I just accepted that and so I never thought I could and now I have and that was the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my life and I'm so happy I'm crying!"

Edward bent his head and kissed the tears at the corners of my eyes and then kissed my forehead and then my nose and then, finally, my mouth…sweet and salty and long and warm and wonderful.

And then he lifted his head, looked at me intently and said, "I think I love you, Bella."


	10. Chapter 10

_CHAPTER TEN_

"Don't." I whispered, "Please don't ruin it by saying that, Edward." I searched what I could see of his eyes with mine.

"Ruin it? Why would that ruin it?" his expression was puzzled…and hurt?

I paused and gathered the words I wanted to say.

"Because saying it when you don't mean it makes it wrong…makes the whole thing just wrong. I wanted to do this with you. I wanted to have sex, fuck, make love…whatever you want to call it…but I don't need you to lie to me by telling me that you love me. I…I don't know if I'm saying this the right way." I was pretty sure I wasn't, actually.

"Okay…I understand." He was supporting himself on his elbows and he moved one hand enough to brush my hair back from my temple and then his fingers kept touching me, touching where my hair was damp from the tears that had run there.

"Is it okay to tell you that I feel something for you that I've never felt with anyone and I know I'm young…and so are you…but it doesn't mean we can't feel something, a REAL something. Please, Bella? I mean every word." He paused and just kept touching the side of my face. "Maybe what I should have said is…I think I'm falling in love with you. Because I do…think I am. You're not going to get me to take it back."

My throat ached from the effort of holding back more tears that threatened to spill and so speech was impossible. I just nodded in agreement. I mean, I felt something too. I was too frightened to call it 'love' just yet.

Edward sighed and smiled and then, as he kissed me tenderly on the mouth, I felt him pull back and slide from me. I sighed too. Without saying anything he shifted so that he was beside me. Grabbing the second blanket, he pulled it up to cover us.

I felt him move one arm and nudge me so he could slip it around me.

"Let me hold you. We have some time yet and I just want to hold you." he said.

I turned on my side and snuggled in next to his body, nestling my head in the hollow formed by his arm, my cheek on his chest. It was as if I was wrapped in a cocoon of softness and warmth now that we were sheltered by the blanket over us. Another sigh escaped me.

Edward kissed my hair and sighed himself…and we lay like that, knowing it couldn't last forever but wishing that it could. It should have been perfect. It would have been, except that my mind began chasing thoughts of why it was anything but.

It wasn't easy to force myself from the nest of his embrace, but common sense finally broke through. I pushed away, out of his arms, and sat up, pulling my knees in to my chest and resting my chin there. I stared out at the waves and watched the moonlight glistening on the water and glowing on the foam as it met the sand. Edward's fingers lightly traced my spine and then his hand came to rest in the middle of my back.

"Something's wrong. What is it, Bella?"

"We have to go. I have to go." That was all I could manage at the moment.

"You're right…but what else? There's something else."

"We'll talk about it later, okay. Let's not do it now. This was wonderful, Edward. I hope you know how much I really mean that. It was more special to me than I can tell you, really, but we have to go. Can you reach my clothes? They're over by you."

Time to get practical about this.

"Sure," Edward said, gathering them up and handing them to me.

The panties weren't too bad, they'd been on top of the pile so there wasn't too much sand all over them…but putting on my jeans and blouse wasn't going to be very comfortable. Oh well, I would deal with it. I started dressing…still sitting down. Now that we were finished, I was feeling self conscious about Edward seeing me completely naked. I was trying to limit my exposure. Why had this started feeling weird?

"I guess I'd better get dressed too, then." Edward said and reached for his own clothes.

The next couple of minutes were quiet and it wasn't the comfortable quiet it had been before. It felt awkward and strained and I didn't like it at all. Edward looked uneasy. I could tell that he glanced at me from time to time while we put our clothes on, but I was trying not to look at him.

Once we were dressed, Edward picked one of the blankets up by its corner and took it out of the shelter of the rocks. He started vigorously shaking it. 'Oh yeah,' I thought, 'sand.' I grabbed the other blanket and walked it out to him. He handed me the first one and began abusing the second.

"Are you very angry with the blanket?" I asked him, keeping my tone light. He didn't answer me. 'He either didn't hear me or…crap, he's not talking to me.' I tried again.

"Edward, are you very…,"

Before I could finish he interrupted, in a very low, very controlled tone of voice.

"No, Bella. I am not 'very angry with the _blanket_." He said. Then, "Do you have your shoes? Are you ready?" Without waiting for an answer, "Let's go then." Edward took the flashlight out of his pocket and started walking back the way we'd come. I wasn't sure what to do. Follow him? Not follow him? Try to explain? How to explain when I myself was confused?

"Edward, wait…please." I called after him.

His long stride had quickly taken him from me. He hesitated, took another step, then another, and finally stopped. His shoulders sagged and he turned to face me. Slower than he'd walked away, he came back and stopped in front of me. I was cold now. I was trying to hug myself and rub my arms, but the cold seemed to be coming from inside me, not from the air around me.

He didn't look at me, but over my head, past me and into the dark. He didn't speak.

"You're angry with me. I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me." I put my hand on his chest. He didn't pull back. That was a good sign, right?

"Fuck!", was all he said.

Or…maybe not. My heart clenched. Okay, be brave, be fast and just blurt out what had finally come together in my mind, what had caused the best night of my life to disintegrate so quickly. I took a deep breath.

"You can't love me. You can't be falling in love _with_ me. It's not possible. It can't happen. I'm sorry…it just can't. I'm too old. People will freak out. It kind of freaks _me_ out. I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I do…and I'm sure you do too if you think about it, though I bet your friends will think it's great that you fucked a college chick. Trust me, though, my friends might be less inclined to applaud my banging a teenager. And it really pisses me off because I care about you…so much...and I wish…I want…but I can't…." and that's all I got out before I dissolved into tears and stood there shuddering and shaking in front of him.

And then he did the perfect thing…the one thing that could help…maybe. He took my hand from his chest and put it around to his back and did the same with my other hand as he stepped closer and enveloped me in his arms, my face buried in his chest and he said three little words…

"I don't care," and then he kissed my forehead…a lingering, sweet, gentle touch of his lips.

"But…", I started and was interrupted.

"I. Don't. Care." He said again. "Listen to me, Bella…just listen to me. First of all, I'm not going to tell my friends that I "fucked a college chick". I would never say that about you to them…to anyone. And if I do tell them we're going out, I don't care if they think it's weird and I don't care if your friends think it's weird. And, why would our parents be upset? Our parents are best friends…They'll be fine with it."

"But…" I tried again and was again interrupted.

"No…no 'buts'. The _only_ reason I can accept that this…that we…are done before we've had a real chance to start is if _you_ think it's weird or bad and _you _don't want to see me anymore. If you're having second thoughts because of you…not because of what other people will think…then I'll let you go. So…now you have to tell me the truth."

"You really don't care? I mean, really?" I looked up as he shook his head.

"I don't. Really."

"What if I wanted to kind of keep it, um…quiet…just for a little while? Would that be okay? Maybe just while I have a chance to get used to it myself?"

"Sure. I don't mind that either. We can still talk and text, right? I mean, we've been doing that and it's been okay. No one knows. I'm okay with that staying the same as long as I know that we're okay…together. I want this."

Edward was holding me away from him at my shoulders, away enough so that he could look into my eyes while he said this last.

He added, "It's going to be harder now, because I'm going to want to be with you even more…to be close to you even more. But, soon you'll be home for the summer and I'll probably be able to see you at work and we'll be able to go out sometimes…we'll work that out. And then, I'll be coming up to San Francisco for school and we'll be able to really be together. Now…DO you want to call it quits…or do you want to give us a try?"

My head was swirling and I wasn't quite sure how all this had happened in just this way but I answered as honestly as I could.

"If you can put up with me being a bit weirded out until I get used to the idea of being with someone younger, then I definitely want to try. Maybe it won't take me long at all. You certainly don't act like any other seventeen…"

"Almost eighteen." he said."

"…any other almost eighteen year old guy I've ever met. Seriously."

"Well, that's good then. I'm going to think positively. Now…we really should get going. That's been one long movie."

"Oh my gosh! They'll never believe it. How long _has_ it been anyway?" I asked him.

Edward took his cell from his pocket and checked the time. "

"About three hours." He said. "Come on…let's get back to the car."

We made our way up and over the dune, down the pathway and back to where the car was waiting in the small turnaround. Edward opened the hatch and threw the blankets in, then unlocked my door so I could scoot inside. He was soon seated beside me.

"I'll turn the heater on in a second…and the heated seats. It'll just be a minute before you'll be warm."

"I'm fine. I don't feel so cold anymore," I said…and it was true. But he was right and soon I was even warmer…air from the heater vents warming my feet and warmed seats taking care of the rest of me. As we were making our way down the old road to the highway, I had another thought…and panicked for a minute.

"Edward…by the time we get back, it will have been almost four hours since we left your parent's house. That's bad enough for a two hour movie but, I just thought of something…what about the sand? It's got to still be in the blankets and your clothes…and mine. They're going to find out we went to the beach. What do we do about that?"

"Let me think. I'm sure I'll come up with something." He said.

I watched his face as he drove and didn't say anything while he thought of a way for us not to get our asses in trouble when we got home. I may have been in college, but my parents were firm believers in the "While you're under my roof" set of Rules to Live By and I knew they wouldn't approve of my saying I was going one place and then actually going to another.

A couple of minutes later, Edward smiled and said, "Okay…here's what we did…"

It seems we did go to the movie and then, because it was awful (which, he informed me, it really had been), we left after just a short time and decided to drive around for a bit. We stopped to get something to drink at one of the local fast food places where we heard some people mention going to the state beach and having a bonfire. We didn't know them, but they noticed us listening and said we should come if we felt like it…so we did. We should have called, but we didn't think we'd stay that long. Really sorry, but we're fine. Oh…sand in the blankets in the car though. We brought them out to share with the people who had invited us. It was the least we could contribute. Edward would make sure he washed them and put them back in the car. No worries.

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open a bit. He noticed.

"What?"

"Are you always that good at making up stories?" I asked. "That's kind of scary."

I saw his grin flash in the dimness.

"Actually, no. I don't usually try to, or need to, put something over on my parents. But this time…" he took my hand from my lap, turned it up, pulled it to his mouth and kissed the palm… "I'm motivated."


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter Eleven_

We didn't talk much on the drive back. I'm sure we were both preoccupied with our own thoughts. There was quite a bit to think about after tonight. Edward's free hand kept hold of one of mine, and he rested them together on his thigh. I liked that…a lot. This time, the silence was comfortable. I liked that too.

We were only a few minutes from my house when Edward broke the silence with…

"So…what time will we go do something tomorrow…and what's it gonna be?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

Tomorrow (well, today now…since it was after midnight) was Saturday and I had no clue what my mother had planned…but it was usually something that involved the entire family when I came home on a weekend. My visits had been few and far between this past year.

"What do you mean 'what am I talking about'? I'm talking about seeing you and doing something and I'm wondering when and what. We are going to see each other tomorrow, aren't we? It could be weeks before you come home for the weekend. It's for _sure_ weeks before you come home for the summer."

I counted dates in my head.

"Six weeks 'til I'm out for the summer, Edward. Yeah…that is kind of a long time; you're right. It's just that my mom usually plans something for the Saturday I'm home. I don't know if I can get away to do anything at all with you. I'll try, but I don't want to make her suspicious, you know? I have to ease myself into this, remember? Don't be angry."

"I'm not." He was silent. I looked over at him with a frown which he must have felt because he turned briefly and looked at me. "Really, I'm not. I'm going to be very disappointed if I don't get to see you before you leave though. I didn't think tonight was the only time we would have. It wasn't enough. You'll call me when you wake up in the morning?"

"I promise." I squeezed his hand. "As soon as I find out what's happening with the family tomorrow, I'll give you a call. Maybe we'll find a way to do something…at least for a little while. I'll call."

A short minute later we were turning into my driveway. My dad's truck was parked in its usual spot outside. Mom's car got the space in the garage, the space that was left next to the "stuff" that lived out there. So they were home…not that I expected them to still be out. It was really late now. I'd probably hear about this in the morning. Ugh!

"So, your parents are home. Will they be waiting up for you? It looks like there's a light on inside."

I'd noticed it too…a soft glow coming through the fanlight on the front door. The fact that it wasn't bright probably meant it was coming from the back of the house…the family room. That wasn't the light that was usually left on when I was out. Oh crap…I might not _get_ until morning before I was going to hear about this.

"Damn." I said, half under my breath. I took a breath in and blew it out through my mouth. "Well…guess I'd better get ready for whoever is up."

'Please, let it be Charlie,' I thought.

"Is this bad? Will you really be in trouble? I mean, you're in college; you're on your own all the time except for the little time you're here."

He sounded genuinely puzzled, which was to be expected. Edward didn't yet know about the 'While you're under my roof' thing. I quickly explained.

"Wow…I _am_ sorry, Bella. You won't be…uh…grounded…or anything though, right?" He actually smirked a little over the word "grounded".

"No, no…nothing like that. I'll just get the frowns and the "I'm disappointed in your behavior" looks. I think, with my parents, I might get those for the rest of my life. They're very good at them. Seriously, Edward, don't worry too much. It'll be fine."

"Do you want me to come in with you? I can talk to whoever is up. I can explain."

"Not necessary, honestly, but I'd better get inside. Thank you for tonight. I can't really explain how I felt with you and I…" I really couldn't explain it. I didn't have the words… so I let my sentence just trail off into nothing. I squeezed his hand again. A poor substitute for how we'd touched earlier.

"Well, I'm at least walking you up." Edward said as he opened his door and put one long leg outside the car.

"What? No. It's okay. You don't need to do that!" I pulled my hand from his and reached for my own door handle.

"Bella, this is something I do, and I'm going to do it with you. Now stay right there, please. I mean it." He put on a stern face…and it was so fake it made me giggle.

"Yeah…I'm so afraid of you," I said…but I stayed in my seat.

Edward got out, closed his car door quietly and walked around to open mine. He even put out his hand to help me up from the seat. I swear…I was SO not used to this. I had no clue whether or not I could _get_ used to it…but for now, I'd let it go.

"Let it go," I whispered.

"What?" He'd lowered his voice to match mine.

"My hand, Edward. Let it go. You can't be holding my hand to walk me to the front door. We're barely friends, remember."

"Oh…I think I remember us being _very_ bare tonight, Bella…and acting _very_ friendly." He gave me a grin and arched one brow…as he let go of my hand.

My face flushed at the memory of the beach. Did he have to say that now…when I was going inside and not sure which of my parents was waiting to show me how disappointed in me they were?

"Not fair, Edward Cullen. That is _not _playing fair at all." I hissed.

My discomfort was definitely a source of amusement for him because my hissed reprimand was answered with a radiant smile and a completely insincere apology.

"Sorry. I don't know what got into me." He said.

'Well…two can play this game,' I thought, as I said…

"I don't think anything got into _you_…but I know _exactly_ what got into _me _tonight."

She shoots! She scores!

His expression was priceless. With that, while he was still speechless, I pushed the latch on the front door (yes, someone was up as it was still unlocked), opened it and stepped inside. Edward was still standing on the doorstep when I grinned at him, closed the door and locked it for the night.

I heard my dad call from the family room, "Bells, is that you?" Good…it was Charlie.

What I thought was, 'No Dad, it's your friendly neighborhood ax murderer. You really shouldn't leave your front door unlocked, you know.' My dad made it so easy sometimes…but this probably wasn't the best time to joke with him.

What I said was, "Yeah, Dad. It's me. Uh…did you need me? I have to go to the bathroom." That was actually the truth. Like, I _really _did have to go.

"Oh…go ahead. Come back here when you get out though, huh?" he said.

'Fuck.' It didn't appear I was getting out of this unscathed. I headed to the bathroom.

I glanced at myself in the mirror as I closed the bathroom door and wondered if I looked "different". I felt different…but, having to face my dad in a minute, I hoped it didn't show. At least the blush caused by Edward's last comment had faded away.

It wasn't until I'd sat down to pee that I realized just how long it had been since I'd had sex, and how, um…_sizable_ the difference was between Mike and Edward. It was a bit raw and tender down there and I let out a little hiss at first. Ouch! And yet, I felt a sense of satisfaction that the reason I had to say 'ouch' was because I had had the most amazing sex of my life. Not a bad tradeoff.

And, it wasn't until I started to pull my underwear back up that I realized, no matter how careful you were while having sex at the beach, sand found its way to places that you really wish it hadn't. There _was_ some sand inside my panties…so there must be some sand on me…in places where I didn't want it. I needed a shower. I'd best get the dad situation out of the way first, though.

I walked quietly back to the family room. I definitely didn't want to chance waking my mom or sister. My dad was in his recliner, the lamp beside it on 'low' and the television playing quietly across the room…some sport thing, I'm sure. He was in his pajamas and robe.

"Hey, Dad. What are you doing up so late?" That's it, act nonchalant. Don't act guilty.

"Yeah, about that…it is pretty late, Bella. I thought the movie would have been over before this." He looked at me expectantly.

Okay…moment of truth. Well…moment of _fabricated_ truth actually…but here goes.

I explained, just the way Edward had laid it out for us and then waited for a response.

"Oh…well…glad you kids had fun. Edward's a real nice kid. Call next time though, huh? Your mom was worried. Well…" he looked at me closely…"so was I, actually, though not so much since I knew you were with Edward. I figured he'd look out for you."

That close look seemed to intensify…or was I just feeling guilty and completely transparent?

Charlie continued, "I know you're almost twenty-one, Bells, but I don't care how old you are, your mother and I are always going to worry about you. That's what parents do. Just…call next time."

"Sure, Dad. I promise. I'm sorry I worried you. Uh…I'm gonna take a shower before I go to bed. You know how beach sand gets everywhere." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight."

_Why_ did I say that about beach sand? 'Just put the thought in his mind about beach sand being "everywhere"! Bella', I thought. But Charlie didn't react. My sweet, trusting dad. I almost felt bad for how clueless he was sometimes. But not tonight.

My dad got up from his chair, went over to turn off the television and then came back to get the lamp. "Night. Sleep tight…don't let the bed bugs bite." To my dad, I was still four years old.

I walked down the hall to my room, went in and quietly closed the door. My mother had turned down my bed and left the bedside lamp on the lowest setting, giving a soft glow to my room. I really was very lucky. I had great parents. I know they missed me when I was gone and always seemed happy when I was home. I would definitely have to spend the day with them, no matter how much I also wanted to spend it with Edward.

I grabbed some shorts and a tee shirt out of the dresser (Mom had kept a few of my things here so I didn't have to worry about packing everything for a quick weekend at home) and went back to the bathroom for my shower. When I reached behind my neck to undo the button there, I thought of Edward undoing it tonight and of his lips on the back of my neck. My cheeks grew warmer.

It only got worse as I undressed. Pulling the blouse over my head and off reminded me of his mouth on my breasts, his tongue and teeth teasing my nipples, the clenching deep inside me when he sucked on them.

Sliding my jeans down from my hips took me back to the feeling of his hand, first cupping my sex and then slipping the tip of his finger inside me…the feeling that had caused my knees to go weak.

Taking off my panties made everything else come flooding back…the wetness that eased the way for his finger inside me, the pulling, heated sensation of him sucking on me there, the indescribable feeling of him sliding the tip of himself against me before pushing inside me deeply…so deeply….and finally, the complete perfection of an orgasm like none I'd ever had or even known was possible.

During this vivid recollection of the night, my eyes had closed and my breathing had quickened and I felt the now familiar ache and clench deep and low. What had he done to me? How was I going to last six weeks until I saw him again? I wasn't sure. This was going to be torture if I relived tonight every time I took a shower, for fuck's sake.

'Enough.' I scolded myself. I turned on the shower, waited a minute until it was nice and hot and then stepped inside. Heaven.

I stood under the spray with my eyes closed and leaned my hands against the tile wall in front of me. I still felt turned on. I still felt the ache. I needed to hurry and get un-naked. I hoped that would help me shut off my brain and its wanton thoughts. That's how I felt…like a wanton woman…and, oh…I liked it!

I hurriedly rewashed my body and hair (yes, there was sand on the floor of the shower, so obviously some had hitched a ride home from the beach) and then turned off the water and just stood in the steam for a minute. My mind started to wander back to…

'No! Get your pajamas on and get to bed.'

Gosh, I was bossy.

I did as I was told and within a few minutes I was climbing between sweet smelling, soft sheets and pulling the light down comforter up to my chin. This really _was_ heaven.

So many wonderful sensations. Such a momentous night… 'Stop it right now.' I sighed. I would have to try to fall asleep as quickly as I could.

I was just about to completely relax when I thought of my cell. I hadn't thought of it or looked at it all night. I'd been…pre-occupied. Did it need charging? I didn't want to have a dead phone tomorrow. But I didn't want to get out of bed to get it. Damn it…

Wearily, I climbed out of my bed and tiptoed back to the bathroom. I'd left it in the pocket of my jeans…my jeans that were on the floor in the bathroom…my jeans that I could pick up and take back to my room and put in my hamper, but what fun would that be for my mom? She missed me…even in all my sloppiness. Jeans on the floor were like a gift from me to her. It would make her happy. I left them there.

Once back in bed, I turned on my phone and saw: 1 message. I clicked on "View".

It was a text from Edward. It had been sent while I was in the shower and it just said,

"Call me. Now. Tonight. As soon as you get this."


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter Twelve_

'Oh God,' I thought. 'What's happened?' I was really worried. He'd said to call, not text him back. Something must be wrong. I punched in his number and waited to hear a ring on the other end. The ring had barely begun before it was answered.

"Bella?" he was speaking softly.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

I spoke softly too, but I was grateful I didn't have to whisper. Luckily, my sister slept like the dead and, even if she hadn't, her room was on the other side of the bathroom we shared. My parent's room was on the other side of the house.

"Yes, I'm fine." He answered.

"Then what was with the "call me this minute" text message? I was worried." Now I was annoyed.

"I'm a little annoyed, Edward. It's not nice to make me worry."

"Don't be annoyed. I just had to make sure you really did call me…even though it's so late. I was afraid you might just wait until morning unless you thought it was really important. I had to make _sure_ you thought it was really important."

"Okay…I called. You're fine. It's very late and I just got out of the shower and got into bed and why DID I call you? What are we doing?" I wasn't good at "cryptic" at almost three o'clock in the morning.

"Are you in bed now?" he asked me.

"Yes. I just said that." I sighed.

"Do you have a light on?"

"Yes…the lamp on my nightstand is on. Why?"

"How high is the volume on your speaker phone?" he asked next.

"What? The volume on my speaker phone? I hardly ever use it. I leave it set to 'low', why?" I really was lost as to where this conversation was headed.

"Turn on the speaker phone…and then turn off your lamp. Okay? Please?" his voice was low and coaxing.

"I'm really lost here, Edward, but okay."

I did both things he'd requested and now the only light in my room was coming from the display on my cell and the faint glow from the street light outside, seeping past the edges of my window shade.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Put your phone on the pillow, beside your head. Can you do it so it doesn't slide off?"

"Sure. I have soft pillows. It'll stay in a little hollow I can make for it, but why would I need to do that. I can just hold it." I think I was beginning to sound a little exasperated.

"You're going to need your hands." Edward said…slowly…suggestively.

"What? I'm going to need my hands for what?" I asked.

There was a beat or two of silence except for his breath in my ear and then…

"What are you wearing right now, Bella?" he asked, his voice deep and husky.

"What am I…?" I paused.

Oh my God! Were we going to have phone sex? Holy fuck! I think we were!

"Um…let me just put my phone here on the pillow, Edward." I nestled it into a little place near my head. When I was sure it wasn't going anywhere I said, "Okay. Now…what was the question?"

"You heard me…What are you wearing right now?"

"I have on a pair of sleep shorts and a tee shirt." I was talking into the space next to my head, but apparently he could hear me just fine because he said,

"The same kind of shorts you had on when I came to your room in nothing but a towel?"

"Yes. The same kind." They were pretty short, just like the others had been, and in a soft, thin fabric.

"And are you wearing the same kind of tee shirt…the kind your nipples show through when you're turned on?" I could almost see the smirk on his face and the lift of his eyebrow.

"What…?" It came out in a breathy squeak.

"You didn't know that I could see your nipples almost as well while you were wearing that shirt as I could tonight when you were naked?" he said.

"No." I gulped. "You're joking, right?"

"I would never joke about something as perfect as your nipples, Bella."

Oh shit! I never knew my shirt was that thin. I walked down the dorm hall to the bathroom like that all the time. Of course, I wasn't turned ON all the time. I hope that made a difference…I really did.

"What are you wearing under your shorts?" he asked next. His breath was heavy in my ear.

I took a deep breath. Okay…this was getting interesting and all of a sudden I was very awake and I _wanted_ to see where this was going to go.

"Nothing, Edward. I've got nothing on under my shorts. Under my shorts, my ass is naked." He may have started this game, but I wanted to win it. (_My point?)_

I heard a low moan in my ear and almost moaned myself when the sound of it caused my sex to tighten and tingle. Now it was my turn.

"What about you? What are you wearing?" I was picturing low-slung sweatpants and a sports team tee shirt. I was dead wrong.

"Absolutely nothing. I sleep naked, Bella." (_Definitely his point. Fuck…__**two**__ points.)_

The image in my mind almost overwhelmed me. I remembered him the way I'd seen him standing above me at the beach tonight…when he stood to take off his boxers and I was laying on the blanket below him.

There were his shoulders, broad…but not too broad, muscular…but not too muscular. His chest was defined enough to have decent pecs, and he had chest hair, which had surprised me when I'd seen him in the towel at school, but which pleased me…then and now. It definitely made him more mature looking. I was pleased he wasn't overly muscled like so many guys who thought that working out was better than sex.

'_Oh, thank you, God, for not making Edward think that working out was better than sex!' _

His waist and hips were on the narrow side (that must be why that towel had hung dangerously low). I could see his legs, long, muscular thighs and firm calves…hairy but not too hairy…and then, I came back up to his belly…his flat, sexy belly with its masculine happy trail growing down the center, from just above his belly button and leading to his most impressive…

"Bella? Did you fall asleep or something? Are you still there?" Edward's voice hissed from the phone and disrupted my memory.

"Oh…oh…yeah…I'm still here. Sorry. I was just…um…thinking."

"About what? My goal is to be kind of sexy with you here, Bella and…" this time I interrupted him.

"Oh…you're succeeding, Edward. Don't worry about that. If you want to know the truth, when you said you were naked, I was thinking about how you looked at the beach tonight. So yeah…you're definitely succeeding." God…this was hot.

"I don't want to _talk_ about _me_ naked. I want to _get __**you**_ naked. Take off your shorts for me…slowly…and describe it to me while you're doing it."

I took a deep breath. This was not something I had ever done before. Had he? No…I didn't want to go there. This was just about him and me and now.

I described in detail how I was slipping my fingers into the waistband of my shorts and feeling the softness of my own skin as I slid them down my hips…lifting my ass off the mattress so I could push them past it and down my legs. I told him when they were at my ankles and when I pushed them off with my feet. (_Another point for me, I think.)_

"Are you bare?" he asked…his breath a bit faster than it had been.

"Yes." It was almost a whisper.

"Now…do the same for your shirt. I want to picture your breasts and nipples like they were in the moonlight…They were perfect."

Again I described it for him…and just talking about it while I did it turned me on even more. I had no idea that would happen, but it did. I told him how I was pulling my shirt over my head and how the bottom caught on the roundness of my breasts and how the fabric dragged across my nipples and how sensitive they still were. When my shirt was off, my nipples grew taut as the chill in the air touched them…before I could get my arms and chest back under the blanket. (_A point again…mine.)_

"You're naked now?" Edward asked.

"Yes." I answered.

"And so am I. And now…we're going to have sex." (_Five…that had to be worth a fucking __**five**__ points…easily._)

I was having a hard time breathing. This was so erotic and his voice was making me crazy…telling me what to do and speaking right into my ear.

"I don't understand…How are we…?"

"Just listen…and do as I tell you, okay?"

"Alright, Edward. I…think I can do this." I told him.

"I want you to take your hand and cup your breast. Pull your nipple with your fingers. Feel how it tightens." I did and it did. I breathed a little faster.

"Now, take your other hand and touch your belly…lightly…moving lower and lower. Feel your mound and your slit. What does it feel like to you. Tell me." (_Points?)_

I was shaky as I touched myself. "I feel hot…and damp. I ache inside." Edward groaned. (_…my…?)_

"Put pressure there…massage yourself. Does it feel good?"

"Edward…it's too…I can't…" I couldn't continue.

"Yes, you can. Don't stop now." He said.

"What are you doing? While you're telling me what to do…what are you doing?" I sucked in a deep breath. I had to know. I wanted to _'see'._

"I'm touching myself, Bella. I'm imagining how amazing it was to touch you tonight and I'm imagining you touching yourself now and I'm hard and I have my hand around my dick and wishing it was _you_ around me. I want you and I want to come again and if I can't come _inside_ you I at least want to come _with_ you." (_…game?)_

Fuck! I felt a gush of moisture between my legs as I thought about the size and hardness of him and remembered how it had felt when he had thrust himself inside me.

"Oh…I'm wet. I'm so wet…" I sighed into the phone.

I heard Edward suck in a breath.

"Oh, fuck, Bella…this isn't going to take long. I want you to take your hand from your breast and use that hand to hold yourself open. Now, I can picture you exposed to me. When you rub with your fingers, it'll be like they're mine. When you put your finger inside, it'll be mine there again." Edward's breath was coming faster and harder in my ear and mine was doing the same to his.

"Oh…Edward…it's building. I can feel it. I'm wet and it's hot and oh God…it's almost…" I was shaking and squirming on my bed as I felt it blooming inside me. "I want to come…I want to…I'm going to…" and then it was happening and my fingers stopped moving and my legs were squeezing together and the feeling intensified and I vaguely heard Edward breathe and stop and exhale a shuddering breath and then another and then he moaned softly in my ear and I relaxed my legs and they felt all loose and like they were hardly attached to my body anymore.

_(A thousand…Edward had just scored a **thousand** fucking points and he won the game, but __**when **__he won…so did I.)_

For a few minutes, all I heard was the sound of breathing in my ear…and that's all he was hearing too. It finally slowed…little by little getting back to normal. He spoke first.

"Well…are you glad you called me back?" I could _hear_ the smile in his voice.

"Um…I'd say that's a yes. That was…amazing. I never thought I would ever have phone sex. Not in a million years. You never cease to amaze me. First, we have glorious first-time sex on the beach…and now steamy, hot, phone sex? I mean…where did you learn this stuff? Seriously, I want to know who taught someone your age how to do such amazing things." I waited. There was silence from his end.

"Edward? Are you there?" There was still silence.

"Edward? Hey? Talk to me." What the hell?

I heard him take a deep breath…It was loud in my ear.

"We'll talk about that another time, okay. I…it's not something I want to talk with you about over the phone. Let's just leave it."

There was something to leave? There WAS something to talk about regarding where he'd learned his "techniques"…and it wasn't something he wanted to talk with me about over the phone? Well…that was…interesting.

"Okay." I said. "I'm not going to make you talk about anything over the phone. We'll talk soon. I hope I can see you or talk to you tomorrow, but I'm not sure what's happening with the family yet. I'll call you, okay?"

"That would be great." He sounded relieved that I wasn't going to press him into talking about whatever he was uncomfortable with right now. "I hope it works out for me to see you. But…if it doesn't, at least we got to have sex twice while you were home…and there's always tomorrow night…and the phone."

"Edward!" I said. "We can't have sex every single day…in person OR on the phone."

"I don't see why not." I could hear him grinning. "It's good for you. It's great cardio exercise on the phone…and in person it's cardio and, sometimes, weight training."

"What? Weight training? There's no way sex can be a weight training exercise." I said.

"Just wait and see, Bella. Just wait and see. Goodnight. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

And just like that he disconnected. I heard the empty air.

I hadn't gotten a chance to tell him about the game…and that he'd won. I was still thinking about the last thing he had said.

Sex…a weight training exercise? Nah…..I'd believe that when I…tried it?


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter Thirteen_

Still thinking thoughts of weight training and wondering when and how Edward would show me exactly what he meant by that, I reluctantly searched for my sleep shorts (they'd gotten shoved down between the sheets at the foot of my bed) and my tee shirt (hanging precariously from one corner of the square lampshade on my nightstand where it had apparently landed when it came off over my head).

Once found, I put them on. As much as I might like sleeping naked…I had a younger sister who thought nothing of knocking once and then flinging open the door to my room without waiting for a response. She was also fond of flinging herself onto my bed and me. Sleeping naked…hmmm…maybe someday.

As soon as that thought entered my mind, so did the thought of Edward telling me that _he _slept naked. That thought, in turn, brought to mind the perfection of his body, standing over me…kneeling between my legs…being _inside_ me….

If I didn't shut down the thoughts of him and of our night together, I would never get to sleep and, not knowing what my mother had planned for the day, lack of sleep could be a very bad thing. It was already bound to be a problem because I'd gotten home so late and then I'd called Edward and then…more memories and…I had to get to sleep or I would SO regret it. I was terrible on too little sleep. It was not a good look for me.

'Okay,' I told myself, 'You can think of his body and how perfect it is, but you may not think of what he can do with it. Just think of how lovely he looked in the moonlight.'

I thought I was probably fooling myself, but it was easier than I thought, once I told myself to just _see_ him, to keep a picture of him in my mind's eye…and with that I felt myself relax more and more until I floated off to sleep.

Bzzzzzzzzzz…bzzzzzzzzzz…bzzzzzzzzzz…

The bee sounded angrier and angrier and it was going to sting me if I couldn't get away and I had to get away or swat it or something and it wouldn't stop buzzing while it zoomed around my head and I was afraid to get stung and finally I flung my hand out toward it and…

…hit the wall behind my head with a resounding BANG and _that_ woke me from my dream, all the way, in one startling second. I sat up in bed and looked around for the bee. There it was, under the sheet on my bed where it had slipped off my pillow sometime after I'd fallen asleep and it was purple and looked mysteriously like my cell phone and, while I was looking at it, it did that same thing again…that bee impersonation…

Bzzzzzzzzz…bzzzzzzzzz…

This time I punched a button and made it stop. I started to bring it to my ear when I heard Edward's voice loud and clear while it was still arms length away. Oh…it was still on speaker phone. I punched that button to turn off the speaker and brought the phone the rest of the way to my ear.

"Hello," I rasped. Rasped? What was wrong with my voice? I cleared it…ahem…and tried again, with slightly better results. "Hello."

"Bella…are you okay? I've been calling for at least five minutes. Were you still sleeping?" He sounded surprised.

"Well, uh, yeah I was still sleeping. Why aren't you?"

It had to be early still. My mother hadn't come to wake me up to start the day so I knew it _had _to be early.

"Because it's past time to get up, Sleeping Beauty. The day isn't going to wait for us. Now…come to the front door and let me in." Edward said.

What? Front door of what? Let him in where?

"Edward…I am really trying to understand what you are telling me here but I'm failing miserably. Come to _what _and let you _where? _ What the hell are you talking about and make it quick 'cause I'm going back to sleep in about one minute."

"Oh…so you're going to give me a countdown again, huh?" his voice was smiling and smirking at me.

"What? A countdown? Oh…like before. No, no countdown. Just please explain. Please? If I didn't know that I hadn't had any alcohol to drink last night I would think I was hung over. That's how I feel. Lack of sleep does that to me."

Ugh…I did NOT feel good.

"Okay…I didn't know this about you. 'Needs vast quantities of sleep in order not to feel hung over.' I actually have a cure for how you're feeling. So…please…drag yourself out of your bed and come to the front door of your house and unlock it and let…me…in." He said this last very slowly…and it worked. I finally got it.

"You're here? At my house? Really?"

"Yes. I am here. At your house. Really. I'm waiting at the front door. Come open it and I'll explain. It really seems kind of silly to be talking to you on the phone when I am standing right outside the door to your house."

"But my parents…." I began.

"Bella…I _promise_…cross my heart and hope to kiss you…that I will explain everything if you will just…open…the fucking…door." He sighed hugely into my ear.

I didn't understand any of this, but at least I was beginning to wake up…a little…as a result of our conversation.

What I did was slide my legs out from beneath my comforter.

What I said was, "Hold on. I'm coming…" and then I clicked 'end' on my phone and threw it on my bed as I got my feet under me and got moving. I opened my bedroom door and heard…silence.

I started unsteadily down the hall, glancing at the bathroom door as I passed it. Bathroom…door open and room empty. Next I passed my sister's room…door open and, like the bathroom, empty.

Everyone must be in the kitchen, I thought. Well…I couldn't detour to check. Edward said he was at the front door. But…why hadn't he just rung the doorbell so my mom or dad or the goofy one could let him in. Confusing…

I padded across the living room in my bare feet, narrowly missing the dreaded toe stub when I came too close to an end table at the side of the sofa. My balance this early in the morning wasn't the best. I really did feel a little woozy. Finally, all ten foot digits intact, I made it to the front door, turned the deadbolt, grabbed the handle and pulled it open.

Blazing sun caught me right across the eyes and I quickly squeezed them shut.

"Oh shit! Bright light!" I squealed. "Damn it…I'm blind!" I stumbled backward and probably would have fallen except two very strong, very warm hands grabbed me by my upper arms and steadied me.

"Hold on." Edward said. "Keep your eyes closed against the light. I'll close the door."

He kept one hand on me and I guess he closed the door with the other one. Who knew? I wasn't looking. I was smarter than that. Nothing was going to get me to open my eyes right now.

I heard the door snick closed as the latch caught.

"So…" Edward said. "Is this how you always wake up in the afternoon, Bella?"

I tried to open my eyes a fraction of an inch but I just wasn't ready.

"No comment." I said. I was no dummy. Don't incriminate yourself. Don't give anything away. And then I thought of what I must look like standing here in front of him, his hand still on my upper arm to make sure I didn't fall down on my ass. 'Damn it.'

"I need to sit down, Edward. Where's the chair?"

Edward took one of my arms and tucked it under one of his and around his back. I grabbed hold of his shirt.

"Come on…sit on the couch so I can sit with you." He walked me over to it, my eyes slitted open the barest bit so I could assist a little in finding my way there. We sat.

"Okay…now open your eyes, Bella." He said softly.

"No."

"Come on…you can do it."

"No." I could hear the pout in my own voice. Oh, I can be whiny when I'm tired.

"Well…if you won't open your eyes, there's only one thing I can do." Edward said.

"Don't think you can threaten me, _Ed. _I'm not ready. What is it you think you can do to me just because I won't open my eyes?"

He didn't answer my question. I felt his hands drop away from me but, before I could even try to look to see why, I felt them on my cheeks. He tilted my face and I felt his face come down to meet me and his kiss fell on my lips and my eyes flew open and then fluttered closed again as I let myself get carried away by the tenderness of his kiss. If melting was a physical possibility for human beings, I would have been a puddle on the floor. I could not grasp how the slightest touch like this from him made me feel as I'd never felt before. Would I ever "get it"?

When I felt him pull away and lean back, I took a huge breath and finally opened my eyes and looked at him. He sat there next to me and I was stunned at the sight of him. How did he look so amazing in a plain black v-neck tee shirt and his blown knee jeans and a pair of trainers? How did he look perfect with his hair all tousled like _he'd_ just gotten out of bed?

He smiled at me…watching my inspection of him.

"Well?" he asked. "You're checking me out pretty good. Do I pass? Oh…and don't call me _'Ed'_." The smile was still there. He couldn't be too bothered by that last.

"Uh…oh…sorry. I think maybe I'd have to say yes, you pass." And then…

"Oh, my God! What the hell do _I _look like?" I frantically reached up to feel my hair and where it used to be there was now a rat's nest in residence. Oh…crap.

"Oh…Don't look at me!" I quickly lifted my hands and tried to cover Edward's eyes but he grabbed them, turned them palm sides up and kissed each one in turn.

"Stop…Bella, stop. You're beautiful. You look beautiful to me…always."

I sat there, speechless. How did he do this? He was _scary_ he was so good.

"So…do you want to know why I'm here? Shall I give you all the details of what's happening? I think you're going to want to know." He grinned a perfectly sparkling grin.

"I should throw on a robe or something first." I said, quickly looking toward the back of the house where the kitchen was. Gosh, they were awfully quiet back there. That was a bit unusual. "My parents or sister could come out here and I shouldn't be sitting here in my…pajamas."

"No." Edward shook his head.

"What do you mean no. You want to get me in trouble? My dad…"

"No…you don't need to get a robe to put on because no one is here but you and me." He continued holding my hands and rubbing his thumbs across the backs of them.

"What? What are you talking about? Where are they? Are you serious; they're not here?" I had woken up, right? This wasn't a dream?

"Should I pinch myself? Is this a dream? Am I still sleeping?" I searched his face. It seemed real…like really _here_.

"Please don't pinch yourself. It's not a dream. You aren't still sleeping…though you DO sleep like the dead, I think. Sit back for a minute and I'll explain, okay?"

I leaned back into the sofa cushions and sighed.

"Okay…I'm listening. Are you _sure_ nobody's here?" I looked back toward the kitchen again.

"I'm positive, Bella. What's more…nobody's going to be here for a long time. They all went to a gymnastics thing…I think it's an information day or something for Alice and Angela...to see if they can go to a camp during the summer. I heard noises at my house not long after you and I uh…finished…last night." He gave me a crooked grin.

"I threw on some sweats and went to see what was happening. It was my parents and Alice getting ready to go to this thing. They got up at the crack of dawn…literally."

"But…wait…so my parents and Angela went too? I didn't hear anything. Why didn't my mom say anything last night?"

"Well, my parents said your parents decided to go after you and I left for the 'movies'."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I smacked him on the arm. He just grinned some more.

"They knew about it, but because you came home unexpectedly, they felt bad leaving you here for the day so they weren't going to go. My parents convinced them they should because your sister didn't want to miss it and the parents of each kid were required to be there. So…didn't anyone tell you this when you came in last night? One of your parents was up, right?" He looked puzzled.

"Yeah…it was my dad. Oh, I bet my mom was ready to throttle him this morning when he told her that he forgot to tell me about it. I wonder if there's a note. Kitchen. Now." I stood up and started to take a step, then teetered a bit. Edward's hand caught my arm as he stood too.

"Whoa…You really aren't steady on your feet yet, are you?"

"I just got up too fast. I'm good. Give me a second." I said, pulling myself together.'Slow down and quit looking like an idiot', I told myself.

I took a breath and started walking toward the kitchen. I expected Edward to move up and walk beside me. When he didn't, I turned and looked back. He was walking behind me with a smile on his face.

"Just what are you doing?" I stopped and asked him over my shoulder.

"Admiring the view. It's very nice here in your house."

"You weren't looking at my house. You were looking at my ass."

"Like I said…It's a very nice ass here in your house." His grin broke into a full on smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You're horrible. Cut it out. That's very shallow…to only pay attention to someone's body, Edward." I was sure I looked appropriately displeased.

"Really, Bella? Isn't that what you were doing to me? Earlier? And last night too?"

"What? No. I would never…" he looked at me and raised one eyebrow…"well, maybe…a little. But that's different. You're a guy. Girls can look at guys. But if guys look at girls that way it's just…you know…wrong."

"Well, then I'm going to be very "wrong", because I love looking at your ass."

"You are impossible. Come…to the kitchen." I started walking again…knowing he was following and still looking at my ass. He couldn't see my grin…but I was grinning.

We made it to the kitchen and there on the bulletin board where all notes were always tacked (we tease my mother about having a touch of OCD), was a large sheet of paper saying BELLA: READ THIS!

Okay. I took it from the board and read exactly what Edward had just told me in the living room. I swear it was almost word for word.

"Did YOU write this? 'Cause it's almost word for word. The only thing they added is that they'll be home late and they hope I'll find something to do today and…why don't I call _you_ to see if you want to keep me company. DID you write this?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"What have you done with my family, you evil man?" I threw my hand to my chest.

I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud when he tried to make an 'evil' face in response. He reached out and grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the floor. He twirled me around the open space while I shrieked and laughed.

"Put me down…put me down now. I'll have to call the police!"

"Call away. They can't hear you. No one can help you now. You're mine…all mine."

When he said that, Edward stopped twirling me around and his expression changed and his smile slipped away and he let my body slide through his arms until my feet were on the floor and I was standing in front of him, looking up.

"What…what's wrong, Edward? What…?"

"That's what I want, you know." He spoke quietly.

"_What's _what you want? What are you…talking about?"

"I want you to be mine…all mine. I can tell…already. I know you said not to say it but…Bella, I…"

I interrupted…"Don't. Not yet. This is wonderful. I'm really happy. But not yet, okay? Please? That's not a bad thing, really. I want to be with you. _Just_ you. I just don't think I'm ready for _that _word right now. I can't help it. Edward?"

He had gotten very still and his look was very serious.

"Say something, Edward. Please." I said.

"You want to be with me. _Just_ me."

It wasn't a question so much as a statement, but I answered anyway.

"That's what I'm saying…and I mean it. I really do. I just can't do the other yet. I'm working on it." I reached up to touch his face…stubbly cheeks and angular jaw.

"Okay…okay, I'm good with that. I am. You have to admit though, Bella, that this is a little odd…the guy wanting to say _that _word and the girl not wanting to. I've gotta get used to this. I'll work on it."

"Okay…good that you're good. Now…what are we going to do today? It's…wait! What time is it? The sun was so bright and I felt like I'd only slept an hour and I'm sure it's been more than that but…what time is it anyway? You said something about afternoon!"

"It's not afternoon yet. I lied. It's almost eleven. I knew I should let you sleep longer…but I couldn't wait. I had a hard time sleeping. I couldn't shut off my brain."

He looked at me with an intensity that made me blush.

"I know what you mean…though I must have fallen asleep sooner than I thought because I didn't hear my family get up or leave. I shouldn't be this tired."

"It's okay. We can do whatever you want today…even if we just stay here and watch movies or listen to music or whatever. Or…we could go to my house and…play pool."

That last was accompanied by a lecherous grin.

"Edward Cullen! You have a dirty mind!" I acted shocked.

"Me? I have no such thing. I'm shocked you would say so." He acted shocked.

"Listen," I said, "about the dirty part. I really need a shower. I'm sure I'll feel much better after I have one."

"Oh yeah…right…let's go." He said.

"What do you mean '_let's_' go, Edward?"

"Well…you know how I said sex could be a weight training exercise? It works best in the shower. I'm going to show you what I mean." And with that he pulled his tee shirt off over his head and started walking. "Your bedroom and bathroom are this way, right? Come on."

And this time, my shock was real.


	14. Chapter 14

_CHAPTER FOURTEEN  
><em>

I watched in stunned silence as his back, with its perfect muscles and sprinkling of little moles and cluster of freckles, walked away from me…toward the hallway leading to my room and bathroom. Oh my God. Did he really think we were going to have sex…again? And in my parent's house? Was he crazy?

"Edward! Wait…" I started after him. "Do you really think we're going to have sex _again_? And in my parent's house? Are you crazy?"

He stopped in the hallway, by my open bedroom door, and turned around to face me.

"This is _your_ room, right? Unless you're the one with the gymnastics and horse posters all over your walls." He'd obviously looked in as he passed my sister's room.

"Yes, this is my room. I don't really do posters." I said. He turned back and stepped just inside. I followed.

"I can see that. I like this…a lot. It's…you." He turned and smiled at me and then back at the walls of my room…decorated with pictures of the sea and sand…at the bed, a natural wicker sleigh bed, covered in a simple white fluffy comforter and strewn with whatever sea green, aqua and coral colored pillows hadn't fallen off onto the floor while I slept. He walked all the way into my room and stood there, bare-chested and looking like _he_ should be at the beach, gazing around at my "collections". I had sea shells and driftwood and bits of sea glass, each collection in its own shadow box and hung on my walls in between the framed photographs.

"You really do love the ocean." He smiled at me.

"I…do…yes. I don't know what it is about it…but I have...a connection. It fills something in me. I'm happiest when I'm near it…just knowing it isn't far away." I looked down at my bare feet…a little self-conscious now that he was here in my room and seeing this part of me.

"It's great. I love it. I love knowing this about you."

I walked over to him and looked up.

"Listen…we should maybe get out of here and go do something. Why don't you just let me have a shower…" before I could finish my sentence, Edward said…

"Oh, right…our shower."

"Not _our _shower, Edward. _My_ shower."

"Really, Bella? You don't want to shower with me? I purposely didn't take one yet and I need one too and…"

I stopped him with "Didn't you take one last night before you went to bed?"

"Well…yes, a quick one. But you did too, right?"

I cleared my throat, "Well…yes…but I always need a shower in the morning. To wake up properly and feel "right" for the day."

"Same here. Besides…since we're both basically clean…we can just concentrate on the...'weight training'." He was staring at me, his green eyes piercing and direct.

While he said this last…he'd moved even closer to me and put his hands at my waist…under the bottom of my tee shirt. The touch of his skin on mine lessened my resolve against having sex with him _again_…right now…in my parent's house. I couldn't help myself. It seemed all he had to do was touch me and I was his…completely.

"Right…weight training." I was a little breathless. "I don't know, Edward." I was trying to regain my senses here…to be practical. "This is my parent's house and I know they wouldn't approve and…" my voice faded away as I looked at him.

"I…don't want you to do anything that would make you feel bad, Bella. I'm sorry. I just thought…well…I thought that, since after today I may not see you for six more weeks…I just want to be as close to you as much as I can while we're together and…I'm sorry. It's really selfish of me, but I want you. Again. Here. Now." His eyes still pierced and his hands pulled me closer and then slipped down and around, resting lightly on the small of my back and then his eyes closed as his face bent toward mine and mine closed in anticipation of his kiss…and the anticipation wasn't nearly as good as the real thing...as the feeling of his mouth on mine.

When we finally stopped and pulled back from one another, we didn't need any more words. We just looked at each other.

My thoughts briefly touched on my parents, my parents who weren't home…my parents who wouldn't be affected at all by what I was going to do now because they would never know…and it wasn't going to hurt them or anyone else so…

Edward's brow wrinkled while he looked at me…a question without the need for spoken words. I looked back at him and nodded.

He leaned down and kissed me again and then took my hand and led me the short way down the hall to the bathroom. Still holding my hand, he pushed the door open further, pulled me inside and then turned back and closed it behind us. He smiled.

"Do you want me to turn the water on?" I asked him.

"Sure," he answered me. "Do you like very _hot _showers? What temperature should I be expecting here?"

"Not too hot. I don't like being a lobster when I get out of the shower. Is that okay? I mean, how hot are your showers?"

"I usually do look a bit like a lobster when I get out…but I'll adapt. Don't worry about it."

I had leaned into the double size shower and adjusted the water. It was still warming up so I stepped back to where Edward waited.

"This is more than a little strange…having you here in my bathroom with me, Edward." As I looked up at him, his hand lifted and brushed a stray strand of hair from near my eye. His feet shifted and he stepped out of his shoes, pushing each one off with the other foot…one at a time. No socks. Bare feet. Nice bare feet.

"Strange bad...or strange good?"

"Just strange…not bad though. Just…strange."

"Are you sure, then? I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, Bella." He looked at me earnestly. "Maybe this idea of mine isn't so hot."

"No. It is. It really is. So…now what?" I asked him.

He didn't answer…but instead reached to the hem of my tee and began drawing it up over my head. I lifted my arms and it slipped from me the rest of the way. Edward's breath caught as he looked at my bare breasts in the full light of day.

"Like I said last night…'perfect'." He just looked at my breasts…but didn't touch them. Next he took the waistband of my shorts in his fingers and, pulled it away from my body so he could slide the shorts down, off my hips. He bent at the knees, following my shorts down to my feet with his hands and then he leaned forward and kissed my belly…low…below my belly button. I felt the quiver of my muscles instantly. He leaned back and tugged on the shorts at my feet so I stepped out of them. I was standing there…completely naked…and vulnerable.

He stepped away from me then and undid the buttons on his jeans. His erection sprang free. Oh my God…he wasn't wearing any underwear…no boxers between the jeans and him…just him. I stared at him in the light. It was so erotic seeing him naked like this…in the bathroom where I always showered. The picture of him in this room would forever be in my mind every time I showered here.

Edward took my hand and led me over to the shower. He slid the door open and reached in to test the water. I guess it wasn't too cold for him, because he stepped into the spray and pulled me in after him. With his other hand he reached past me and slid the door closed.

"Here…you get under first." He said. "I don't want you to be cold."

He let go of my hand and I moved under the spray, leaning my head back into the water and letting it cascade over my hair. I closed my eyes. 'Ahhhh…the 'rat's nest' was history.' I was concentrating on how good the water felt on my hair when I felt Edward's hands on my waist again…a prelude to his mouth finding the nipple of my left breast. He sucked.

'Oh God, oh fuck…that felt amazing.' The connection was instantly made from my nipple to my sex. It clenched and released its wetness. I felt it, in spite of the water pouring down the outside of my body.

Edward moved his mouth to my other breast and suckled there. I thought I would faint. It was exquisite. My breath was coming faster. I was aching for him again. A real ache. That was exquisite too. I moaned without meaning to. I couldn't help it.

Edward stood…his hair all wet and dripping into his eyes. He ran one hand over it and pushed it off his forehead. He licked the water off his lips and it was immediately replaced by more from the shower spray. Leaning forward, his hands on my breasts now, he opened his mouth and kissed me. My mouth welcomed the invasion and didn't even complain when he gently sucked my tongue into his own mouth and bit on it gently. He pulled back from the kiss and opened his eyes.

"My turn to be under the spray." He said.

"What?" I felt dreamy and slow witted. He smiled.

"My turn…to be under the spray."

"Oh…right. Your turn." We moved past each other to trade places and his erection brushed my belly and sent an electric tingle through me. When Edward was standing where I had been, he reached for the shower head and positioned it so it was spraying out more than down…more horizontal…the water reaching almost to the wall opposite the fixture.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "It's not on you enough now."

"It will be. Don't worry about me. Just trust me, okay?" His look was intense again.

"I do, Edward. I do trust you." And it was true.

Without saying anything else, Edward put his hands on my shoulders and rotated me so that I was facing away from him, toward the tiled end of the shower stall.

"Put your hands on the wall…and lean forward, Bella."

I did as he said. He pulled my hair away from where it was hanging down my back and put it over my shoulder so my back was bare.

"Don't move your hands. Don't turn around." I heard him reach for something…one of the bottles on the alcove of the window. I heard the top pop open and smelled a whiff of…plumeria…the same scent I'd used yesterday. The next thing I felt was Edward's hands, filled with soap and lathering my back and shoulders. He gently but firmly kneaded them and it was the most heavenly massage I'd ever had. I felt myself relaxing into the pressure of his hands. Then they moved.

I felt his hands slip down my back and to my ass. He caressed the cheeks of it with the fingers of both hands and I felt the tingling increase in my sex. He had to know what he was doing to me…that my body was getting ready for him. His hands left my backside and I felt him move to one side so the spray from the shower could rinse me off. And then I felt his lips take their place while his hands took hold of my hips. He was kissing the very base of my back…right above the cleft of my ass. Oh God, it tickled from the stubble below his lip and on his chin, but it tickled in a wonderful way.

While little kisses continued there and on the swells of my ass, Edward's hands moved from my hips and came around to the front of me. His fingers found my mound and the cleft there and slipped inside…teasing my clitoris. My legs started shaking with the feelings of arousal coursing through me.

"Edward, I…I want to turn around now. Okay?" I really did. I was ready.

"No." he said. "Not okay."

"What? But why? I want…" I started.

"Because I want to take you from behind first. Spread your legs apart…further."

Just hearing him say "take you from behind…" sent another gush from my sex. I was as wet inside as I was out. A groan came from me at the thought. I was realizing how little I knew about sex at all. I'd never done this before either. Why didn't Mike...? No, I pushed all thoughts of Mike out of my head. There was no room for him here.

I moved my legs and when they were spread open more, Edward stood straight again behind me. I felt him there…his erection between my legs. He put one arm around my waist from behind me and said,

"Bend over…onto my arm. I won't let you fall. Bend."

My hands slid down the tile as I bent and pushed my ass out toward him. His fingers explored my sex first…and then were replaced by the thickness and length of him as he sought his way into me. The tip slipped in and we both sighed at the same time. And then he _pushed_ and I felt the heat of him as he slid all the way into me.

He didn't move forward or back…but I felt him pulse inside me. I clenched my muscles around him…wanting to hold him there, deep inside me, forever. When he felt me squeeze, he groaned more loudly than before.

"Fuck, Bella. That's so good."

"You really can feel that? When I clench?"

"Yes…God, yes. It's…great. It makes you even tighter than you already are. Do it again?" I did. The groan came from his throat again.

Edward kept his one arm around me where I was bent over it, but the other moved around to my clitoris and gently teased and rubbed there…and then to my nipples and then back to my sex, all the while moving in me now. The feeling was different this way…deeper, fuller. I really _did _feel 'taken' because I wasn't able to control the movements. I was at the mercy of his thrusting…his rhythm. Because I wanted it as much as he did, the feeling of being taken this way was sexier than I would have thought possible.

"It's building, Edward. It's so good." I panted. I was _panting_ now for God's sake. I knew I was close. I tried to push back more…to make him go deeper. Instead I felt him release his hand from where it had been on my breast and push back against the tile…away from me. 'What? No!'

He pulled himself from me and stood panting behind me…his erection against my ass. He slid himself up and down the cleft of it while he leaned over me.

"What are you doing, Edward? Why did you...?" I felt empty…and very, very frustrated.

"Don't worry," he said, leaning close to my ear. "We're not finished. Just give me a minute. I don't want this to be over yet." He kissed my earlobe. "Do you?"

"I don't know. I don't…I just want…well, now that I know I _can _come with you inside me, I want to come…with you inside me. Soon." Oh, yes…soon.

I heard his small, low laugh in my ear. "I've created a monster." He said.

"Don't tease me, Edward. I'm dead serious here." I couldn't believe I was practically having a conversation while standing bent over in the shower with his penis (Oh God, that is a sexy word!) sliding deliciously up and down the crack of my ass.

"I can't believe we are having a fucking _conversation_ while I'm standing here desperate to come!" I said and started to push myself off the tile wall so I could stand up.

"Patience, patience…" he put his hand against my back and held me there.

"Edward…really…"

"I just needed a minute. Okay, let's turn you around." His hands went to my hips and he swiveled me around to face him.

"And now..." he said, "…for the weight training..." and his hands slipped behind me and under my thighs.

"Put your hands on my shoulders." he instructed…so I did. And then he lifted me, spread my legs open, lifted me a little higher, positioned my opening over the erect tip of his penis until it was just beginning to slip into me…and then held me there, suspended over him. His mouth moved to my nipple and sucked…hard. This time I mewled with my need.

"Edward…please…don't do this to me. I need you inside me. Please…" I _was_ desperate.

He lifted his mouth from me. He looked into my eyes and...ever so slowly...impaled me.

"Oh fuck, Bella. Oh God, you're so hot inside." He grunted a little with the effort of pushing me up and off him again…until he was almost out of me and then he let me slide down to engulf him once more. He kept it up…over and over and the friction of sliding next to his belly, down his happy trail and onto him was doing amazing things to me.

"I'm close…I'm so close…" I pulled myself forward and panted near his ear. "I want to come, Edward. I want to come now!"

"Wrap your legs around me, Bella. Now. Squeeze." He panted back. He moved his hands from my thighs to my back, just above my ass, and leaned me back so that he could bend his head down to my nipple. As he sucked again…hard again…the waves of heat that had been building inside me exploded and my muscles were squeezing him and then he was pulsing inside me with his own release and moaning into my breast and I was holding on and moaning too.

He kept holding me…standing there with me in his arms…until I felt him soften, allowing me to slip from his body, our connection broken. His arms went around me and we stood there chest to chest while our breathing calmed and slowed. Edward took a couple of steps back toward the source of the spray and reached to adjust the nozzle and then turned us so I got the hot spray pouring down my back and it felt wonderful.

After a few more minutes of quiet bliss, I finally lifted my head from where I had laid it on his chest.

"That was amazing…but, we should probably get out of here soon. We're going to be all pruney." I said.

"I don't mind getting pruney with you."

"That's good…very good…but I really do think we should…"

"Okay…just one more thing." He said as he stepped away and reached for the plumeria body wash. "Let me do this first." He poured some into his palm and I thought he was going to wash himself with it.

"You're going to smell like a flower!" I started to laugh.

My laughter quickly turned to a gasp when he said… "Not me," at the same time that his hand reached between my legs and began washing me there. The lather and his hand was soothing and, at the same time, so hot.

"Oh, Edward. Fuck."

"We just did, Bella…and it _was _amazing. Here…let me finish you." And he soaped me up all over and then turned me around in the spray to rinse me and then did the same for himself as I watched. He wouldn't let me wash him.

"If I let you wash me," he said… "we would be here for a lot longer. You cannot touch me with lather on your hands…not if you do want to get out of here." His grin was wicked.

"Okay, okay…we really do need to get out before the water turns freezing. I can feel it cooling now."

Once we were rinsed, I turned the water off and slid open the shower door. I grabbed two fluffy towels from the rack and handed one to Edward. I dried his back and he dried mine before drying ourselves the rest of the way. I wrapped my towel around me and Edward wrapped his…in that way he had…low on his hips. I smiled at him.

"Well…this looks familiar."

"You like?"

"I do."

"I like yours too." He grinned right back.

"Listen," I said, "I um…need a minute. Here in the bathroom." He stood there looking at me. "Alone, Edward. Okay?" I gave him 'a look'.

"Oh! Oh, sure. Sorry. I'll wait for you in your room?"

"That would be fine. I'll just be a minute."

Edward gathered our clothes and turned.

"I could wait for you here." He said with a grin. "In case you need any help."

I just shook my head and pushed him from the bathroom. It was about ten minutes later, much relieved and with clean teeth and towel dried and combed hair, that I entered my bedroom only to find Edward, lying on his back, _in _my bed and breathing deeply. Was he really asleep? That fast? I stood still beside my bed looking down at him…at his damp mussed hair, his thick lashes kissing the tops of his cheeks, his perfect lips and masculine stubbly jaw. He was so beautiful. His breathing was so deep and so even that I knew he really must be asleep. I smiled at the thought that I had helped tire him out.

'Well,' I thought…'a short nap actually sounds like a wonderful idea.'

I dropped my towel on top of his on the floor beside my bed and very carefully pulled back the comforter and sheet and stood there staring at his flawless body until the coolness of the air must have registered because he started to move. I slid in beside him and, as soon as I lay down, realized how completely exhausted I was. I turned onto my side, my back to Edward and was just beginning to doze when I felt him shift next to me. The next moment, I felt the warmth of his chest against my back as his arm reached over and around my waist and his leg wrapped itself around mine and he pulled me close. We were cocooned in my bed and I felt content and safe and…

…something else I couldn't define…but that scared me so much.

Edward sighed close to my ear. I felt the warmth of his breath there as he softly said "I love you, Bella. I do."

And at that moment, even though I still felt afraid of it, that 'something else I couldn't define' became crystal clear and very, very softly I whispered…"I love you too."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN I know some of you are thinking: finally! Thanks for your patience. It WAS bound to happen (Edward is perfect for her)...but it had to be at the right time. So now...it may be a little longer between updates because I am no longer far ahead in my writing. **_

_**Reviews are wonderful!  Please take a moment to let me know what you think. Even a smiley face (if you liked what you read), if that's all you have time for, works for me. Thank you so much. =)  
><strong>_


	15. Chapter 15

_CHAPTER FIFTEEN_

I don't remember changing positions while I slept, but I obviously had because when I woke I was on my other side, nestled in the crook of Edward's arm. His arm was around my back, his hand resting by my breast. I had thrown _my _leg over his. One of my arms was resting down the length of his side and the other lay over his belly. He was so warm. The skin of his belly was soft and, now that I was awake, I noticed that the hair on his chest was tickling my cheek.

I didn't know how long we'd been asleep, but the light filtering in around the shade on my window had definitely changed from when we'd started our nap. I thought we'd probably been asleep for at least a couple of hours. I wanted more. Why was I awake?

I lay still trying to figure out what it was that had awakened me. It wasn't a sound, was it? Oh God! Had my parents come home early? Had they made a noise? Is that what woke me? I lay still and quiet…listening. Nothing. I heard nothing.

And then…it nudged me and I smiled in spite of myself. The tip of Edward's erection was pressing against the side of the arm I had over his belly. Now I knew what had pushed me from my sleep.

'Hmmmm….what to do about that?', I wondered. '_Should _I do anything? If I did, I'd have to be ready to face the consequences, wouldn't I? Was I ready to do that?'

Very gently, I lifted my arm from his belly and positioned my hand so that my fingers were just touching the tip of him. The skin there was like warm velvet. I teased him with my fingertips and his hips pushed upward into them…but he didn't wake. I slid the palm of my hand down his length, pressing very gently into the hardness of him. His hips pushed back. Still, he slept. Hmmmm….why wasn't he waking up? He said _I _slept like the dead. I think I could say the same of him. I moved my hand into position and grasped his erection and gently squeezed. He moaned…and his eyelids fluttered. Finally…signs of life.

Keeping my grip on him, I got my other arm under me and pushed up, resting on my elbow, so I could watch his face. His eyes flew open when I squeezed him again, more firmly this time, and slid my hand up from the base to the tip of him. He turned to look at me with the most startled expression. I smiled hugely at him.

"Finally!" I said, "You're alive!" In response…his hips pushed up even more.

"_**What**_…are you doing?" he swallowed hard and stared at me.

"He woke me up." I said, grinning.

"He? He who?" the look he gave me was confused. He actually glanced quickly around the room.

I squeezed again… "_Him_." He got my meaning now.

"You're calling my dick, 'Him'? It's got its own persona now?" he looked amused.

"Well…he's definitely _not_ an inanimate object. He seems _very_ 'animate'…even when you're asleep. So…if he can act independently…without even the need for you to be conscious…I think he definitely deserves his own persona. So, yes…_he_ woke me up. He was nudging my arm. Why was he nudging my arm when you were asleep?"

He got a devilish look on his face.

"Maybe he wanted to see if _'she'_ could come out to 'play'." He took his hand and moved it between my legs, searching for my sex. I gasped. Oh…I kind of liked this game.

"Do _they_ want to play too?" he asked.

Now it was my turn to be confused. I frowned.

"They?"

He didn't answer with words, but turned to his side, moved his hand to grab my waist and quickly latched on to the nipple that was closest to his mouth. He sucked…and flicked the nipple with his tongue. I shrieked in surprise, released his erection and pushed against his chest, but he didn't let go.

"Edward! Stop! Ooooh…stop…oooh…oh…mmm." My hand quit trying to push him away. Once he felt the pressure lessen against his chest, he released the nipple…only to move his mouth to the other. My sex responded with its usual tingling and tightening and release of slick wetness. The freed nipple puckered in the air. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the feelings I was feeling. How could this be _so_ good? I was really curious about why I'd never felt this degree of pleasure with Mike, I mean…ever. I'd really have to think about that sometime. Sometime that was not now. Now…I couldn't really think about anything. Now…I was too busy _feeling…__**everything**__. _

After a minute of "playing" with my breasts, Edward released the second nipple with a 'pop' that made me giggle. He flopped back onto the pillow, looked up at me with his sparkling green eyes and smiled.

"That was fun. See…they _did_ want to play." As he watched my face, the grin slipped away and was replaced with a much more serious look.

"And does _she_…want to play…now?" He asked.

I lost my breath seeing the heat in his look…listening to it in voice.

"She most definitely does…but she's afraid that might not be such a good idea right now. What time is it anyway?" Why did I always have to be so practical about things?

I looked past him to the nightstand where my clock was sitting. The digital display told me it was 3:27 PM. We'd been asleep longer than I thought.

"It's already almost 3:30, Edward. What time will everyone be back?"

"Evening, Bella…they're not supposed to be back until…" he pushed himself up on his elbows and leaned over for a kiss, "…after", another kiss, "…dinner." One lingering kiss.

It was at that exact moment that I heard the very distinctive sound of the garage door opening on the side of my house. We've lived in the same house for years and I knew that sound as well as I knew my name…and, oh God, that meant they were home!

"Edward! Fuck! That's the garage door. I just heard the garage door! They're home! Oh, I'm dead…dead! Quick! Get dressed. Go sit on the couch in the living room."

Edward was looking at me with a shocked expression on his face. If I hadn't been desperate to get him dressed and out of my room, it would have been comical. But…I _was_ desperate to get him dressed and out of my room and it was anything _**but **_comical.

While I was hissing orders at him and he was looking at me like I'd suddenly grown a second head, I had thrown myself out of my bed, grabbed my bra where I'd dropped it on the chair, a pair of jeans and a shirt from the dresser I'd tossed them into when I'd unpacked and headed for the door.

"GET UP! GET YOUR CLOTHES ON! NOW!" _That_ got him moving. "Tell them I'm going to the bathroom!"

I ran for the bathroom stark naked and praying I didn't drop anything along the way. I also prayed he could manage his jeans, shirt and shoes in one minute. I was pretty sure that was about all the time he had. I had no more control over that. I just had to get myself dressed. I made it to the bathroom in seconds and slammed the door shut. 'Hurry…hurry…!'

I reached for my panties first…and realized that I hadn't grabbed any. The panties would have been in the same drawer as my bra…but my bra had been on the chair. The jeans and shirt were in their own drawer. I was panty-less. Fuck! Nothing I could do about it now. I pulled on my jeans. I quickly zipped and buttoned…being careful with the zipper and my skin. Then, on went my bra and shirt. God…I _wish _I knew what was happening on the other side of the bathroom door.

I looked in the mirror and saw the tangled mess that called itself my hair. Oh…that wasn't good. Grabbing a brush from the drawer, I dragged it through as quickly as I could. It still looked bad. I scrounged an elastic band and swept everything into a ponytail. Looking again, I decided it would just have to do. Taking a deep breath, I turned the handle on the bathroom door, carefully opened it and listened.

The only thing I heard were muffled voices…coming from the back of the house…where the family room and kitchen and door from the garage were. Oh God…if Edward had dressed and made it into the living room, they'd be talking in there and it was much closer and I'd be able to hear them.

Shit! Was he still in my room then? Oh…I was SO dead. I gulped and walked out into the hallway. My bedroom door was closed. I started to walk down the hall and then remembered…I hadn't flushed! What if they heard…or rather _didn't _hear? I dashed back in, flushed the toilet, turned on the faucet and let the water run for a few seconds, and then stood there debating on whether or not to look in my bedroom. If he was still in there, I wasn't sure what would happen next. I had to know.

I'd taken one step in that direction when my sister came rushing around the corner from the living room and into the hallway. She saw me and stopped.

"Hey! There you are. Mom says to come into the kitchen. She and Dad want to talk to you." Upon completing this directive, she headed for her room. She hadn't said anything about Edward. _I _couldn't say anything about Edward. What if he _wasn't _in there? Damn it!

"Where are you going?" I asked her. I would have felt safer in the kitchen with Mom and Dad if the goofy one was there too.

"I'm gonna call Alice." She said.

"Weren't you with her, like, all day?"

"Well, yeah…and your point would be?" She looked at me like I was completely dense.

"What more could you have to say to…? You know what? Never mind. Of course you two never get tired of talking. I should remember that."

She just shook her head at me and went into her room.

Okay…it was time to 'face the music'…in the kitchen…without the little sister "buffer" that might have helped keep me from a painful death at the hands of my parents. Jokes? My mind was making jokes? This could turn out to be anything but funny.

I left the hallway, walked through the empty living room and slowly into the family room and kitchen…the 'great room' my mother called it…and there they all were, my dad, my mom…and Edward. My knees almost gave out seeing him there. Part of me had been sure he would still be in my bedroom…hiding under the bed or in my closet or something.

My dad and Edward were sitting on bar stools at the kitchen counter while my mom was getting the iced tea pitcher from the fridge. They were all smiling and seemed very relaxed.

"Uh…hi guys." I said as I entered the room.

"Oh Bella, there you are! Edward was just telling us how he called you at least three times today and each time you kept saying you hadn't gotten enough sleep yet. Here we thought you'd call him so he could keep you company while we were gone. I guess we should have known better. You always did love your sleep.

My mom was all smiles…at Edward especially. Aha! He had charmed her…and she believed every word he said. That was a nice skill to have with my mother. I should take lessons.

"Well…we _were_ out a little too late last night…at the bonfire on the beach. I'm sorry about not calling, by the way. I didn't mean for you to worry. Won't happen again." I offered, as I looked from my mom to Edward and back again.

Then I looked at Charlie…sweet but clueless Charlie…who right now had a very thoughtful look on his face as his glance traveled from me to Edward and back to me. But he didn't say anything. Oh my gosh…was it Charlie who was suspicious? Why? If my mom was completely won over by Edward, why wouldn't Charlie be? I hoped I was wrong. Charlie couldn't suspect anything. I was misreading his expression, that's all. That had to be it.

"So," I began, "why are you guys home so early? When Edward finally got here, he said he thought you all would be gone until at least dinner time."

My mother explained that the information session they'd gone to _was _an all day session…for girls who hadn't ever attended a gymnastics camp before. For girls who were "veteran" campers, it was only a half-day program and they were free to leave after lunch. Even though this was only the second time Alice and Angela were going to be going to the camp, they were still considered "veterans". Neither my parent's nor Edward's had noticed the very fine print saying they would be able to leave early. They would have been home even earlier except they had stopped partway home for ice cream sundaes.

"Oh, nice. Whose idea was it to stop for ice cream?" I tried to sound casual and nonchalant, but I was dying to know who it was that had saved my life.

My dad spoke up, looking at me, "Your sister and Alice both came up with the idea. Alice rode back with us and they both decided they just couldn't wait for ice cream until we got home. The drive _is_ a little long, so we gave in. Then we took Alice home. We'd have been home at least forty-five minutes sooner if we hadn't stopped."

Now he _was _looking at me…and then Edward…oddly. Or was it just because I felt SO guilty? Forty-five minutes earlier and they would have found a sleeping naked Edward in bed with a sleeping naked me. I have a feeling we might both have slept through the sound of the garage door opening. Our little sisters didn't know it, and they never would, but Edward and I owed them a HUGE debt.

"So," my mother said, "we're going to go over to your parent's house in an hour or so, Edward. Are you two going to come along or have you made plans?" She looked at him. My mother was _such_ a chauvinist.

Right now it was a good thing she was, though…because I had nothing. Edward and I hadn't discussed anything about what to do tonight. Up until a short while ago…we hadn't needed a plan as things seemed to be progressing just fine without one. So…it may not have been nice of me, but I was glad he was in the hot seat.

"Well, we hadn't actually made any specific plans yet…since Bella hasn't been awake all that long." He turned to look at me. 'Nice,' I thought.

"I don't want to ignore you guys, Mom. Shouldn't I go to the Cullen's with you?" I didn't want to seem too eager to go anywhere alone with Edward so this seemed like a good idea.

"Well, you did spend most of the evening with us last night, sweetie. If you and Edward want to go do something else, I'm sure that's fine with us. Right, hon?" she looked at my dad…the one who had sent me off with Edward just last night.

He hesitated for _just _a second before saying, "Sure. I'm sure that's fine."

"So," Edward said very casually as he looked over at me, "you wanna go find something to do…or go hang out at my house…or hang out here?"

"Umm…" I said, "…why don't we check and see what else is playing at the movies and then we can decide?"

"Well…you two work it out. We're going to go get ready." My mother said. "I want a shower to freshen up and your father wants a nap. Have fun whatever you do; just make sure you don't stay out quite so late this time."

I assured her I wouldn't be out as late and off they went to their room.

I looked at Edward…sitting there on the bar stool and smirking at me.

"How is it you have my mother wrapped around your little finger? Last night it was my dad pushing us out the door, and today it's my mom. What did you say to them while I was in the bathroom?"

"Just that I'd barely gotten here because you kept putting off waking up. Seriously…they think I've been here about fifteen minutes. We're good as long as none of your neighbors happen to mention seeing my car here for the last four hours." He said.

I frowned. "What if someone _does_ say something. Oh gosh…that's no good."

"It's the best I could come up with on short notice. I had like thirty seconds to think of something, Bella. I mean…I had just buttoned the top button on my jeans when they walked in the door. I was still putting '_him' _away. Seriously."

I blushed at thoughts of '_him' _and how close we'd been to letting _'him' _play with _'her'. _

"I know, I know…we'll just have to hope no one says anything. You did great, actually. No complaints." I smiled at him. "So…now what?"

"I'm open to suggestions. Really. What would you like to do?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe we could just go for a drive…and see where we end up? We can always do a drive-by of the movie theater." Just being with him was enough for me. I really didn't care what we did.

"Okay. Let's go then." And he turned to leave the kitchen. I followed.

Edward stopped in the living room.

"I'll just wait for you here then." He said, walking over to the front door.

"Great. I'll only be a minute." I headed into the hall and popped my head in the door to Angela's room to tell her goodbye. She was fast asleep on her bed. Must have been a short conversation with Alice. I backed out slowly.

In my own room, I grabbed my phone, ID, money and a jacket. I stopped and stood for a moment, looking at my dresser.

'Panties?', I asked myself. I paused a few seconds longer before making my decision.

'Nah….'


	16. Chapter 16

_CHAPTER SIXTEEN_

Smiling a knowing little smile to myself, I walked out to the living room. Edward was waiting for me by the front door, as he said he would be. He smiled when he saw me and said,

"What are you smiling about?"

"What are _you_ smiling about?", I asked back, "You're just standing here waiting for me and you started smiling."

"It was because you walked out of the hallway smiling. I like seeing you with a smile, but I was just wondering what brought it about. That's all."

"Just feeling...good," I answered. "Let's get out of here."

We walked out and down the front sidewalk. Edward had parked his car…well, his mom's car…on the street in front of our house instead of in the driveway. I wondered if my parents had even noticed it there when they'd driven up.

"Were my parents surprised to see you in our kitchen when they walked in…or had they noticed your mother's car?"

"They'd noticed," he said. "I guess that's a good thing. At least I didn't startle them. They _did _ask where you were, by the way."

We'd reached the car and Edward unlocked and opened the passenger door for me. I slid in and he shut it for me too, before walking around to his side. Slipping into his seat, his hand sneaked over to grab mine from my lap.

"You know…now that I think about it, why _were_ you in the kitchen?" I asked him. "I'd said something about you waiting in the living room so, when I came out of the bathroom and heard voices coming from the _back_ of the house I thought it might just be _their_ voices. I was afraid maybe you hadn't gotten out of my room in time. I was petrified."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought it might be better to be as far away from your bedroom as possible. The kitchen seemed _safer_ than the living room." He looked over at me and grinned. "I guess it worked. They didn't seem suspicious about anything."

With that, he released my hand so he could start the car. It purred to life, he put it in gear and we pulled away from the curb.

"About that," I said, "you didn't notice anything odd about my dad…any strange looks?"

"I don't think so. Why…did you?" Edward glanced over at me with a small frown.

"I thought so…maybe…a time or two. I think I noticed because Charlie's usually so oblivious to most things…but he seemed to be paying pretty close attention to me…and to you. Are you _sure _you had everything back where it belonged when they walked in?"

Edward smirked at me as he said, "Well…I sure wasn't standing there with my dick in my hand, Bella. Of course I'm sure everything was "back where it belonged". I don't think you would have been sent off with me so easily if they thought anything was going on, do you? I think you're imagining things."

"Okay…I'm sure you're right. I'm sure it's just my imagination. I think it's the feeling guilty thing….like 'The Telltale Heart'." I said. "Do you like Poe, Edward?"

And that started a discussion about our favorite scary stories and movies which evolved naturally into a variety of other subjects and we kept talking while Edward drove. I loved having rambling conversations like this with him. We never seemed to run out of things to talk about.

We reached the movie theater about twenty minutes later, parked and got out to check the marquee. As we stood side by side, Edward reached for my hand and entwined his fingers with mine. I tensed. I thought about that maybe not being a great idea…out in public and all. I mean, what if someone saw and word got back to our parents…and then I stopped myself and thought…

…so what if word _did_ get back to our parents? Would the world end? No. If they found out, well…they found out. We would just tell them about us a little sooner than planned. I wasn't ashamed of my feelings for Edward. I was just nervous about what other people would think. I needed to get over that. If Edward didn't care what anyone might think…why should I?

The answer to that…he was still underage. _That _made me a bit uncomfortable. I couldn't get in trouble, could I? I really had no idea. But then, I knew Edward wasn't going to tell our parents…or anyone else…that we'd had sex. As for liking each other, which is what we _would_ tell them, well…surely that wasn't against the law.

So…I decided. I wouldn't _'advertise'_ our relationship by shouting it from the rooftops just yet, but I wasn't going to hide it either.

Edward had looked down at me with a puzzled expression on his face when I tensed as he took my hand, and was still looking a little confused…but now that my decision was made, I tightened my fingers around his and looked up and smiled at him. Oh…it felt so good. It felt even better when he smiled back at me.

We discussed the movie choices, decided we'd take a chance on one and stood in a long line to get our tickets. We really didn't want to have to tell our parents another lie just now…so we were going to see a movie.

I hadn't been to the movies in awhile. I especially hadn't been to the movies with a boyfriend in a long, _long_ while.

My relationship with Mike had lasted about nine months…and in that time, we had gone to a movie exactly…once. He'd gotten sick during the middle of it…and we'd had to leave. He'd never wanted to go again.

Granted, he went to school in a different city, but it was close by and we'd seen each other pretty often. Still, he had never wanted to _do _anything the one day I was "allotted" of each weekend he came to see me…other than go to bed. The going to bed thing had been fine at first. I mean, I had wanted it too…until I realized that it was the same every time and all it meant for me was frustration and that Mike really didn't seem to care because it was obviously _my_ problem…and had nothing to do with him. He'd been my 'first'…so what did I know? It didn't go over well with him when I suggested we go _out_ and do something. He just wasn't interested.

Eventually, he came to see me less and less…and when I suggested I come to see him, he always had some reason that was a "bad idea". Then…the voice mail saying he was "done" with me had been left on my phone…and that…was that. I knew it had gotten bad…and I'd kind of been expecting it…but it still hurt. I hadn't called him back though. At least, I hadn't called him back.

Now…I was going to a movie with Edward. The irony here was that, with Edward, I might have been perfectly happy doing nothing more than going to bed, at least for awhile. I mean…sex was a whole new experience for me now. Plus…we probably weren't going to be able to see each other very often, at least until he came to school in the fall. Still, I told myself, a movie could be…fun.

We finally made it up to the window and Edward bought our tickets. I started to get some money out of my pocket and quickly put it back when he scowled at me.

"I still haven't paid you back for my bus fare." He said.

"Oh, please Edward…that was nothing."

"Okay then…how about this? Bella…this is a date. We…are on a date. I…am paying for our date."

"Alright…okay. You are cave man and I am at your mercy and you are paying for our date." I tried to temper my sarcasm with a smile…but he could be so old-fashioned in some ways.

He didn't smile back. We walked into the lobby and sat down at a small table there. The movie we were going to see was still half an hour away from starting.

"It's not like that." He said. "I just want it to be my treat, okay? Why can't I do something for you?" He was serious.

"You're serious." I looked up at him and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm just not used to having a guy do things for me like you do. I'll have to get used to it. I am sorry, Edward."

"You had a boyfriend. How can you not be used to it? I mean, didn't he like doing things for you…even little nothings like paying for the movies?"

He really looked surprised when I said, "No. He didn't seem to like doing much of anything for me. It…wasn't a very good relationship, Edward. It was actually a pretty bad one that I let go on way longer than I should have."

"Well…I'm glad you finally broke it off then." He said.

"I didn't." I confessed. "He broke it off with me…by voice mail."

Edward had a completely shocked expression on his face.

"Are you serious?" He asked. I nodded. "You didn't tell me he was a fucking idiot."

That brought a huge smile to my face.

"I mean it, Bella. He really broke up with you? Why? Uh…if you don't mind my asking."

"This really isn't something I think I want to talk about at the movies. Okay?"

I looked around me at all the people coming and going and also sitting near us. There was hardly any room between tables and so people were very close.

"Oh…right. I wasn't thinking."

"No problem. If you really want to know…we'll talk later. We should get out of here early enough to go for a short drive or something…don't you think?" It really wasn't late at all.

"Sure. I think we'll have plenty of time," Edward agreed. "So…" he spoke again, "…do you like butter on your popcorn?" He stood, pulled me to my feet and we headed for the concession line.

A short while later…hot, buttered, salty popcorn and two soft drinks in hand (lots of ice in mine…not so much in his)…we found our way to the right screen and chose our seats. The best part of the two hours we were there…having Edward's arm around my shoulder or his hand holding my hand and playing with my fingers. Oh…and hot, buttered, salty popcorn...but that was second…a very distant second.

Coming out of the theater, with my hand still in his, we happened to see a couple of Edward's friends…or rather, they saw us. It was obvious they were making their way toward us, so Edward stopped and waited for them to make their way across the lobby. I felt my heart beat a little faster. This was our first public "outing". I was nervous.

"Hey, Edward, what's up?" said the bronze skinned, dark-eyed one, giving me a crooked smile as he said it.

They did that guy handshake thing…pretty much as Edward had done it with Emmett the day they'd met in my dorm. Was this like a universal guy thing, I wondered? How did they all know how to do that in just that way?

"Hey, Jacob." Edward smiled at Jacob smiling at me. "Just hanging out…seeing a movie…with Bella." And then, "Bella, this is Jacob…a friend of mine from school. And, this quiet one here," he nodded toward the slightly built, dark haired guy as he also did the 'secret' handshake with him, "is Eric."

I nodded and smiled to both of them.

"Hi. Nice to meet you guys." They did the usual "Nice to meet you too," thing.

I knew I was blushing by the heat in my cheeks. What were they thinking about me? I mean…I wasn't sure they knew I was older just by looking at me, but I _was _sure they knew I didn't go to their school so…were they wondering who the heck I was and why Edward was holding my hand? Did I look as uncomfortable as I felt? I really _had _to get over this.

The three of them talked for a minute about random school stuff while I waited…and then Edward said, "Well, it's time for us to get outta here. See you guys at school on Monday," and he pulled me toward the exit.

Once outside, where the light was fading to twilight, Edward led the way to the car and then we were inside. He had a big smile on his face when he looked over at me.

"What?" I asked. "Why are you smiling so big?"

"Because…" his smile turned into a little smirk…"within no more than sixty minutes, it will be all over the student body of my school that I have a mysterious and very beautiful girlfriend."

"Please. Be serious." I gave him my best disbelieving look.

"Oh…I'm serious, Bella. In fact, it may not even take that long. Jacob and Eric…well not so much Eric 'cause he really is pretty quiet…but Jacob…knows _everyone _at school and we've always been really competitive with each other and now he's wondering just _who _the heck you are and why he doesn't know you and he's going to call everyone to ask them if they know a girl named Bella and do they know she's going out with me."

"No…a guy wouldn't do that. A guy wouldn't care about that." I really didn't believe it.

"Some guys might not…but Jacob _does_ care. Like I said…we're very competitive. He's a friend…but we're not 'close'. Since I have you…he's going to think he wants you. It happened to me before." He stopped and looked thoughtfully out the window.

It hit me then.

"Your girlfriend? Jacob stole your girlfriend? And you're still friends with him?"

"Well…I wouldn't say 'stole' exactly. He expressed his interest to her, she decided she liked him better than she liked me…so, she broke up with me. I don't completely blame him because it was her choice. She could have said no."

I looked at him, sitting there next to me in the fading light…at his amazing green eyes, his tousled copper hair, the perfect angles of his jaw, his lips that seemed to have a natural pout and I put his gorgeousness together with how thoughtful and sweet and hot and sexy he was and there was only one thing to do. I turned, looked at him, waited for him to look at me and said,

"You didn't tell me she was a fucking idiot!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

I leaned over and kissed the smile from his lips.

I had started with my hands on either side of his face but, as our kiss became more heated, I moved my upper body closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The feel of his mouth on mine…his lips moving…his tongue caressing, made my breath quicken and my heart pound. I pulled away first and stared into his eyes.

"Let's get out of here, Edward. I don't want to make out with you in the parking lot of the movie theater." I leaned back into my seat.

"Okay…where _do _you want to make out with me?" He was smiling, but his breath was faster too and I could tell he was as affected by our kiss as I was.

"I don't care where we go. How about you just drive?"

He didn't answer, just started the car, put it in gear and drove out of the parking lot. I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. I was trying to slow my breathing. Would I ever get enough of his kisses? I didn't think that was possible.

"I thought you didn't like surprises." Edward's voice broke into my thoughts. "Remember just last night?"

Had that been only one night ago? Really? So much had happened since then…it didn't seem possible.

"Well…maybe your surprise last night has begun to change the way I feel about surprises in general...or maybe just the way I feel about _your_ surprises. If they're all as good as that one…I will definitely be more open to them."

I lifted my head from the seat and looked over at him with a smile.

"I really can't believe that was just last night. Can you? I mean…we've kind of packed a lot of…um…getting to know each other better…in less than twenty-four hours. I think that must be some kind of record or something, Edward."

"I hope…" he paused and, though I waited for him to finish, he didn't say anything else.

"Edward? You hope…?" I said. He was still silent. I asked again, "You hope what?"

He cleared his throat and sighed… "I hope you don't have any regrets about having sex with me…about letting me…make love to you. It's been on my mind. I mean…I know you like me…but, maybe I've pushed you into something you weren't really ready for. I think I should have waited until you knew if you could feel for me what I feel for you."

All I could think to myself was 'Oh, my gosh…He hadn't heard my whispered "I love you too" when he'd spooned me in my bed this afternoon. He didn't know I'd said it. He didn't know I felt it. There was no way I was going to tell him while he was driving us…somewhere. It would just have to wait. What to say to him now?

"Edward…I don't have any regrets. I really don't. You have to believe that. Listen, we'll talk when we get wherever we're going."

I looked out my window, but it was full dark now and I couldn't tell where we were. We _were_ driving through some gentle hills though…and the road had gotten a bit curvy.

"Where _are _we going anyway? I think I'm lost…again."

"We're going to the lookout at The Peak. You've been there before, haven't you?"

"Not at night. I guess that's why I didn't recognize the road. Are we almost there then?"

"Almost…It's just another couple of minutes."

The lookout at The Peak was what everyone called the park and picnic ground that overlooked our town. There were picnic tables and barbecue pits and hiking trails and, on a clear day, you could see the ocean.

At night it became a place to go to…make out. I'd never had a boyfriend in high school…so I'd never been there at night. I was wondering how many other cars would be there when we got there. This could be…strange.

I was watching for the lookout now that I knew where we were going, so when I saw the entrance come up I was all set for us to turn in. I thought Edward must have missed seeing it when he kept driving.

"Wait! You missed the turn-in, Edward. You've just passed it." I saw the drive into the parking area slip behind us. I turned to look at him.

"Don't worry…there's another place nearby. It's much more…private. There were probably at least half a dozen cars there." He kept has attention on the road…and very soon said, "Here…we're coming up on it now."

We rounded another curve and I saw a gravel side road up ahead. There was a chain across it. As Edward reached it, he slowed and then pulled the car over to the shoulder.

"How are we going to get past the chain…and should we? I mean…where does that road lead to? This isn't to the lookout."

"The chain isn't secured with a lock. It's just hooked onto the pole. Hang on and I'll open it so we can drive in. Be right back."

Edward did the unhooking, driving through and re-hooking in little more than a minute. Ahead of us now was a dark gravel road. He started driving slowly. I looked over at him.

"You know," I said, "It's more than a little odd that you know these "secret" hidden roads. This is the second one in two nights. What gives? Where does this go and how do you know about it?"

"I guess that does seem like a weird coincidence, doesn't it? It really is just a coincidence though, honest. I think _you_…just didn't get around much."

"Well…that may be, Edward…but _you _seem to have gotten around a lot. Really, where are we going?"

I had no sooner asked the question than the road widened and I saw that we were entering a large parking area…one that I hadn't known existed.

"Is this part of the park? I've never seen this lot before."

"The gravel road we were on is a fire road. This isn't part of the park, actually. It's the "emergency exit" for the summer camp that's up here. This is the back lot for camp workers. I was one…of the workers…for a few summers. The real camp entrance is still a few more curves down the main road.

"It seems really quiet…and it's dark."

"Are you afraid?" He'd made his voice deep and 'scary'.

I looked at him in the dimness of the dashboard lights. How could anyone be afraid of someone so perfect?

"No."

"Alright then…let's go for a walk."

He opened his door and got out while I sat there…inert. A walk…in the dark…in the wilderness. Okaaaaay.

Edward opened my door and reached in for my hand. When I didn't take his, he bent down and looked in at me.

"What are you doing?" he looked puzzled.

"I'm trying to figure out why you want to go for a walk…in the dark…in the wilderness."

"Trust me. It won't be in the dark; the flashlight is in the back and I'm going to get it….and it's not exactly wilderness. You'll see if you come with me." He'd withdrawn his hand and now he extended it again. "Please?"

"Alright, Edward, but if I trip and break my leg, you're going to have to carry me to the car and get me to a hospital and explain to my parents how I got a broken leg while watching a movie."

"Thanks for the warning…but we'll be fine. Come."

I put my hand in his and he helped me from the car before walking us both around to the back of the car and getting the flashlight from the storage area. Clicking it on, he played the beam off to one side of the car and there, not far away, was a clearly marked…paved…pathway.

"I see what you mean," I said, "about it not exactly being wilderness. Some hiking trail."

"This isn't a hiking trail. There are lots of those…but this is better. Come."

He kept my hand in his and pulled me along. Once we reached the path, I could see that it was actually wide enough for us to walk side by side and, while it meandered a little up and down and around some curves…it really was quite easy to follow. There were bushes and trees close to the sides of the path, but Edward seemed completely confident, so I followed along.

After just a few minutes of walking, we rounded another bend and climbed another gentle slope and there, way down the hills and laid before us were a million twinkling lights. We were at a wide spot in the path and there were a couple of benches placed outward…facing the view. It was our own personal lookout.

"Wow! This is beautiful, Edward. Why is this here?"

"I have no idea _why _it's here…I just knew it was. It's a really nice view in the daytime too; some of us used to take our lunch breaks up here. It's only another few minutes down the path to the main camping area. Here, we had a chance to actually get away from the little kids…when we just needed not to have a bunch of 'em hanging on us." He paused for a few seconds. "Some of us used to come up here at night too. Late."

""Some of us?" I looked over at him.

"Well…two of us." He stared back at me.

"Why do I feel this is important?" I asked him.

"Here…let's sit down. Okay?"

I didn't say anything in response…just walked around to the front of the bench and sat…looking out at the lovely lights shimmering far below. Edward came around and sat next to me. He'd let go of my hand when I walked away from him…but he took it back now and started caressing it with his fingers. He inhaled deeply and exhaled with a sigh.

"Edward? What is it? This is about me wondering how you're as experienced as you are, isn't it? What happened?"

"It is about that, yes. I'll tell you…because I don't want to have any secrets from you or anything, Bella. It's just that, well…I've never talked about it to anyone before so it feels a little…uncomfortable. I guess I just need to do it."

"I don't mean to pry. I mean, I am really curious, but if this is something you'd rather not talk about right now…I'll understand. Really. I will." I meant it.

"No…it's alright. I just don't want it to make _you _feel weird or anything…when you know. I'm not sure what you'll think."

Now I was more than just curious; I was confused.

"Okay. I'm listening." I said…and he began.

"I worked here as a junior counselor for three summers…starting with the summer I turned thirteen. The first two summers I was a day worker. I didn't spend the nights since I only helped out with day hikes and activities. The last summer, the summer I turned fifteen, I started working in the kitchen. It was a paying job instead of just earning community service credits for school. Anyway…since I was scheduled to work all three meals, and be up at the crack of dawn to prep for breakfast…I was expected to be a resident. I got the weekends off. They had a second staff who only worked the weekends."

"Sounds like a hard job." I said.

"It was a lot of hours. It wasn't that hard really and I had my weekends free. Anyway, I learned how to cook that summer…and…I learned a lot about sex."

"Here…" I said, "…at camp?"

"Yeah. Here."

His fingers became more animated at caressing my hand. It was obvious he was tense and nervous.

"There was another counselor here that summer. She was almost eighteen; in fact, she turned eighteen the second or third week we were at camp…just after I had turned fifteen. She's the one who knew about the back lot and the pathway and this lookout point. She was very pretty and very 'mature' and she started flirting with me. I was already pretty tall so maybe I seemed older to her than I was. The point is…I flirted back. I was surprised that she might be interested in me…and I was flattered.

It was all pretty harmless flirting for the first month or so. But then, we started coming up here whenever we could…and it started getting a little more involved…kissing and…touching. It was right about then that the girl who shared her cabin had an appendicitis attack and had to quit. The camp couldn't find another girl to hire for the month that was left…the camp season was only two months here…so Tanya had her cabin to herself.

The first night she told me to meet her at her cabin, I thought we'd still just walk up here…and kind of fool around like we had been doing. I mean, it was kind of driving me crazy, but I wasn't going to say no to her. I was fifteen. I was in a state of almost perpetual hard-on around her. It was awful in some ways…and amazing in others."

He stopped and looked over at me…looking at him.

"I don't expect you to understand that. It probably seems either pretty stupid or pretty ridiculous or…fuck….this is embarrassing." He looked down at our hands.

"I'm not thinking that. I'm really not. Honest." It was the truth.

He gulped in a breath and continued.

"So I sneak out to her cabin…at like midnight…and instead of coming up here for more "torture", she grabs me and pulls me inside really quickly and then locks the door. She didn't even talk…she just started kissing me and taking off my clothes. She was already in just a tee shirt and I was kind of in shock at how quick everything was happening and all I could do was stand there and stare at her and then she took off her shirt and stood there naked in front of me and pulled me over to her bed and…well…she pushed me down onto it and climbed on top of me and…well…we did it. It wasn't exactly how I expected my first time to be…but…well, it was what it was."

"Edward…what it _was _was very close to rape." I was sitting there kind of in shock myself.

"I don't see it that way, Bella. She may have taken the lead in everything, but I wasn't unwilling at all. Fuck…I told you…I was a fifteen year old boy who had an instant erection whenever she was around. Some days, I think I would have put my dick into anything that was willing to hold still long enough. It was horrible…and then here was this pretty, older girl who was willing and even eager to have sex with me. I'd hit the jackpot…at fifteen years old." He sighed. "We did it three times in three hours that night. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I left her cabin and went back to mine and slept like the dead for a couple of hours…until it was time to get up to make breakfast for the campers. That was such a surreal experience. I mean, I saw Tanya in the kitchen and she acted like nothing had happened. Instead of paying more attention to me, which I guess is what I expected, she paid less. There wasn't any flirting at all. I wasn't sure what had happened.

She had avoided being alone with me throughout the day, but I managed to see her alone for a few minutes after dinner. I asked if everything was okay and she said yes, and told me to come to her cabin again that night. I did…and we did…that night and the next. She was very experienced but I didn't ask any questions about how or why. I have to admit…I didn't care. I was ruled by my dick…plain and simple. I'm not proud of it…but it's the truth.

Then it was the weekend and we went home. I didn't see her until we were back at the camp Sunday night. She made a point of telling me after dinner that we needed to play it cool for awhile. She thought someone…she wouldn't tell me who…might be getting suspicious. I never found out if that was true or not. Maybe she was just having second thoughts. Anyway, it scared the crap out of me…so I agreed not to come to her cabin, of course. We pretty much ignored each other for that entire week…well, as much as I could ignore her. I have to say, the thought of getting caught actually worked pretty well to temper my lust. I hadn't really thought what it would mean if we were found out…but when I did…well, it worked."

Edward had mostly been looking out at the lights while he told me his story. Now, he stopped and turned toward me.

"Are you cold? I know this is taking awhile. Are you okay? We can leave."

"I'm fine, Edward. I'm just…listening. I'm fine though. You can go on…if you want."

"Well…I should finish this, I guess." He took a deep breath and continued. "I did go to her cabin a few more nights the last couple of weeks of camp…but then the season ended and it was time to leave for good. The last night, she told me to come to her and I did. It was different. Before, she would almost seem frantic…and…well…angry sometimes. I never thought anything was wrong. She was my first, so I had no idea what to expect…how women would really be during sex. I actually thought it was kind of hot, I guess…that she seemed so aggressive…so sure of herself.

Anyway…that last night…she was different…quiet. I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't say. What she did say was "Make love to me, Edward." That kind of threw me. We'd been having sex…and she'd taught me all kinds of things…but it hadn't ever seemed like "making love". That time, it did and it put things in a whole different light for me. I was thinking maybe I could love her. I'm still not sure why she wanted it to be that way. Maybe it's because she planned for it to be the last time. I don't know.

And then…she told me her secret…and I knew why _she _knew so much.

Now that camp was over and she would be at home full time again…her father would make more "demands" on her. He'd been molesting her since she was twelve, having sex with her since she was fourteen and she'd let him because she was afraid of what her mother and the rest of her family would say and do…if they knew.

She was so messed up, Bella. He pretty much toldher it was _her_ fault. She'd "made" him want to do that to her. He said he couldn't help himself around her. She said he always used condoms because he was being _thoughtful_…he didn't want her to get pregnant. He completely manipulated her. She believed him so she blamed herself. She was a kid when he started brainwashing her into thinking it was her fault and that, if she told, people would know what a bad girl she was and she would probably be sent away to a home or something.

I was in shock, I think. I didn't know what to say to her, except that she _had _to turn him in. I argued with her for a couple of hours, but it was useless.

She ended up telling me it was none of my business…and what did I know anyway because I was just a kid and that if I told anyone about her and her father she would deny it and say I'd made it up because I'd made her have sex with me and got mad when she didn't want to do it anymore…"

"She blackmailed you? Edward…she _blackmailed _you. Oh my God. What kind of person _was _she? That's horrible." I was appalled.

"You can't blame her, Bella. I told you…she was seriously fucked up. She made me leave her cabin then and it was the last time I saw her. She must have left right after she kicked me out. All I know is that she was gone in the morning. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her…but she had seemed dead serious about what she would do if I said anything to anyone…so I never did. You're the first person I've ever told."

"Edward…what she did to you was really wrong. She was older and…" I stopped. My heart sank.

She was older. She knew better. She had sex with a minor. She was wrong.

And…what did that make me?


	18. Chapter 18

_CHAPTER EIGHTEEN _

I sat there…speechless. What _did _that make me?

Edward had been looking down at our hands where his fingers were still caressing and entwining with mine…restlessly now…no longer gentle and easy. I was staring out at the lights below but, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise his head to look at me as soon as he noticed my silence.

"Bella?" his voice was soft. "Bella, talk to me…please? I know it was awful of me to have sex with her when I really didn't feel anything for her except a physical attraction, but I'm not that guy anymore. I was barely fifteen. I wasn't thinking straight. It's a poor excuse, I know…but I really was overwhelmed by her attention and…I…oh, fuck…I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"It isn't that, Edward. I understand that. You weren't really responsible. _She _was. She was the one who was older. She was the one who knew better. She was the one who took advantage of you…when you were a minor. It wasn't you. It was…_her_. And now…it's…" I couldn't finish. I didn't want to say it.

"…and now it's…?" He repeated my words…and then he got it.

"What? Are you comparing yourself to her? Are you…oh fuck…are you thinking you're anything _like_ her? You're nothing like her. _We're _nothing like that." He was staring at me…I could tell…but I couldn't look at him. Still holding my hands, he rose from the bench and moved to stand in front of me. He tugged on my hands and pulled me to my feet.

"Look at me, Bella…please…look at me."

I raised my head and looked into eyes that held mine in place.

"I was barely fifteen…and yes, she was older…and yes, I'm sure she knew what she was doing was wrong…but you can't equate what happened then with what's happening now…with you and me. It's not the same.

First of all…I'm not fifteen. I _was _a kid then; I'm not anymore.

Second…you and I have been getting to know each other for awhile now. I know it's mostly been long distance, but in some ways that was good. The physical stuff didn't get in the way of really talking and learning about each other.

Third…" he let go of my hands, put his arms around me and pulled me closer before continuing, "third…I love you…" and his head bent toward me and his mouth found mine and I was returning his kiss and it felt good and right and I wanted it to be good…and right…but how could I be sure?

And then I realized…I really couldn't. How could anyone? But it…_we_…deserved a chance. If it felt good and right to be with him, I needed to believe it _was. _I needed to quit questioning everything and just let it develop the way it would…because if I kept questioning, I might very well ruin something that had the potential to be wonderful. It was already more special than anything I'd ever had before.

I pulled back from the kiss and looked up into those eyes I loved and I said,

"Edward…you know when you said earlier about maybe you'd pushed me into something I wasn't ready for and that you should have waited until I knew if I could feel for you what you feel for me?"

He nodded. "I remember."

"Well…it wasn't the right time to tell you then…I mean, you were driving and…well…it would have seemed weird telling you then."

"Telling me what?"

"Well…when you spooned me this afternoon…after I got into bed with you...I heard you say, again, that…you loved me…"

"I thought you had…and I know you probably wish I hadn't and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I…" I reached up and put my fingers on his lips; he stopped and frowned down at me.

"Let me finish." I said, and then took my fingers from his lips. "I heard you say you loved me but…you didn't hear what _I_ said."

"I didn't hear…anything." He was still frowning. "What…did you say?"

"I said…I love you too."

"You…Oh, Bella." And then he kissed me again and I kissed him back and it sent waves of pleasure through me, not just physically, but emotionally too.

We finally pulled back from one another. Edward moved around me to sit on the bench, pulling me crosswise onto his lap and wrapping his arms round me. I lifted my arms to encircle his neck and stretched up so I could keep kissing him. I didn't want it to stop…ever.

Our kisses had started out soft and warm…seeking but gentle. Once I was on his lap though, they became more urgent. I could feel the firm, hard outline of Edward's erection through my jeans. His hands found their way to my breasts, alternately squeezing the fullness of them and playing with my nipples through my shirt and bra.

My body responded to his caresses, and that brought instantly to mind the fact that I wasn't wearing any panties. If anything, that thought turned me on even more. I hadn't ever gone without panties before and knowing that I knew and Edward didn't was definitely arousing. I was squirming in his lap and the friction it caused as the denim from my jeans rubbed against me was so good.

"Bella…You don't want to move like that. Seriously." Edward's breath caught in his throat. "I won't want to stop…I mean it."

"I know…but it…feels good. I…don't think I want to stop either. I mean…I know we should…but not yet. Let's…play."

I moaned into his mouth as I kissed him again and his hand moved from my breast to the juncture between my legs. He pressed and rubbed against the crotch of my jeans. I squeezed my legs together, trapping his hand.

"Fuck…" he swallowed audibly… "are you…you feel…I can feel your heat through your jeans."

I didn't say anything…I just kissed him more deeply.

Edward pulled his hand from between my legs but before I had a chance to protest, his fingers were sliding beneath my waistband. He slipped his hand back and forth low across my belly and the quivering began. He had this effect on me every time. I couldn't control it. I wanted him so badly. His fingers moved lower and slipped from side to side again…and then…his breath hissed in as he pulled away from my mouth.

"Bella…You're bare. You've been bare beneath your jeans…this whole time?"

I nodded.

"I've never done it before. It actually…feels kinda sexy."

"Oh…it's more than '_kinda' _sexy," he said, as he pulled out his hand just long enough to undo the button and zipper on my jeans, making more room for him to touch me even lower.

My breath hitched in my throat as I felt his middle finger playing at the apex of my sex. He slid it up and down my cleft, just on the outside and I thought I'd go crazy with wanting him. I spread my legs a little wider…making it easier for him to have access to me…but still he just teased…first sliding his fingers up and down and then, now that he had more room, cupping me with his hand and gently pushing on me…massaging me. The pressure was wonderful…but I wanted to feel him…inside me.

"Edward…" I pulled my mouth from his long enough to take a breath and say "I want you…I want to feel you inside me. Where can we go? How can we do this? I need you…now."

"Here…like this…" His hands moved to my waist and he turned me so I was still on his lap, but with my back to him. He scooted me forward on his thighs. My legs were on top of his now, his knees under mine, and the tips of my toes almost touched the ground. He moved his hands from me. I turned to look back at him over my shoulder and then down. I watched as he unbuttoned his jeans and freed himself from them. He moved his hips enough to shrug his jeans down just a bit lower on his hips.

"Edward…what?" I was breathless and exposed and a little afraid about being out here like this.

"Do you want to do this now? Do you want to do this here?" he asked.

I thought for a moment…knowing I really didn't want to stop. I nodded and said "Yes…God, yes."

"Okay…trust me," was all he said…and he took my waist in his hands and lifted me off his thighs and spread his legs enough for my legs to slip between them. My feet touched the ground. I was in a semi-crouch, but started to stand…not sure what I was supposed to do next…when I felt Edward's hands on my hips. He took hold of my jeans and pulled them down my legs. They slipped down to my ankles. My bare ass was facing him and as his hands released my jeans one went back to my hip and the other caressed my ass.

"Your skin is so soft." And then he pulled me back so I was poised above his lap. With one hand he had grasped himself and pushed the tip of his erection forward until it was touching me, between the lips of my cleft.

I was very wet and very ready and I felt him slip in just a bit. He felt it too…and knowing he was right there…he grunted and pulled me back onto him at the same time that he raised his hips from the bench and the full length of him pushed inside me. He put his hands back on my hips and tilted me forward a little and the change in angle was amazing. With him inside me but my legs still mostly together, I couldn't move much except to kind of grind myself back into him. It must have been enough. He moaned.

"Oh my God…it's so tight this way. This is so good." He held me close to him…one hand moving under my shirt and teasing my nipple through the thin lace of my bra. His other hand moved around to the front of me and his fingers played with my clitoris…gently rubbing and pressing and moving. His attention sent ever increasing waves of pleasure deep inside me.

I was pushing back into him as much as I could and moving my hips around. The feeling was indescribable and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my orgasm. I heard myself moaning and panting and saying his name...and then with one last push and slip of his fingers across my clitoris and one last grinding of my ass into his lap he called out my name too and we both came together, exploding around each other…stilling and then moving and then stilling again as our muscles clenched and released and the heat spread and encompassed us both.

Edward's hand had left my breast to grasp me around the waist, holding me to him. His other hand was protectively cupped over my sex. I could feel pulses still coming from where he was buried inside me. He leaned forward…grasping my earlobe between his lips and then teasing it with his tongue. It sent shivers down my body. And then he whispered… "You are amazing…and making love with you is amazing."

I leaned back against him now…and sighed.

"You're pretty amazing yourself. I can't believe how good it is with you. I never would have imagined it could be like this."

We stayed that way for a little while, until we both started shivering…from the coolness of the air this time. I slowly straightened and felt him slip out of me as I stood. Even that elicited a moan from both of us. As I bent down to retrieve my jeans from around my ankles, I felt Edward's kiss and nibble on the cheek of my ass. His stubble tickled and I laughed.

"You're laughing at me…at my kisses? What's up with that?" he said with mock seriousness.

"It's just your stubble. It tickles. I can't help it. I love it though…I do." I got my jeans pulled up and turned around to face him completely. I smiled down at him and he pulled me forward. He took hold of the tab on my zipper and pulled it up and then fastened the button. I stepped back so he could stand.

As he was standing he pulled his jeans back up into place and adjusted himself but I pushed his hands away when he reached for his buttons.

"If you can dress me…I get to help you," I said…but, before redoing any of his buttons, I leaned over and kissed his happy trail. He smelled of sex.

"You…" I kissed him again "…smell of sex." I stood and started fastening buttons.

He put his hands on my shoulders.

"As, I'm sure, do you."

I turned my head to kiss the hand on my left shoulder.

"Oh my God, Edward...you smell of _me." _ I could smell myself on his fingers. I could feel my cheeks heat with a blush he couldn't see.

"Uh huh…" he said. "I don't have a problem with that. I love the way you smell. It's very sexy."

"But…"

"No 'buts'…I love it. I love everything about you. I love you."

I looked up at him…his face visible in the diffused glow of lights from the city and from the risen moon and he was smiling down at me and I returned the smile and threw my arms around his neck and, as he was bending to kiss me I said very clearly and with no hesitation at all…

"I love you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN ~ Next update will likely be Sunday, March 4th. Out of town for a few days with no internet access (yes, there are still places in the world that don't have it!). Hope you can hang on 'til then and just bask in the post-coital glow. **_

_**If you're liking the story, hope you feel it's worth recommending to your fan fic friends. **_

___**Reviews are much appreciated...and, since I'm new at this, I'm wondering if I should be sending responses to each review. I'm afraid I don't know the proper protocol. If I SHOULD have been responding, please forgive me for not having done so. I'll do better, I promise. Thanks so much for reading. 3**_


	19. Chapter 19

_CHAPTER NINETEEN_

We stood that way, wrapped in each other's arms and absorbed in our kisses for awhile…and then a strong shiver went through me and goosebumps broke out on my arms. Edward reached up, first rubbing my forearms and then grasping them in his hands so he could pull my arms from around his neck.

"We need to get you back in the car." He said. "Come on."

He took hold of my hand, found the flashlight where it was resting near the edge of the bench and flicked it on. As soon as the beam was trained on the path, we started back to the car. We didn't talk for the few minutes it took us to get to the parking lot but in those few minutes I had begun shaking uncontrollably. When we reached the car, Edward hurriedly unlocked the doors so I could scoot in. When he was behind the wheel he looked over at me.

"You're really shivering, Bella. Are you that cold? Are you alright? Where's your jacket?" I could hear the concern in his voice as he reached around to the backseat where earlier I'd thrown my jacket.

I really _was _shivering…but I knew it wasn't all from the chill of the air. On the way back to the car, all I could think of was that I had told him I loved him. I had said "I love you" to Edward…so that he could hear me this time…and I knew I _meant_ it. The shivering was just a manifestation of the depth of the emotion I was feeling. This happened to me occasionally…when my emotions overwhelmed me. This and…tears…like at the beach…like now.

A small sob escaped me. Damn it! I was such an idiot.

Edward had just gotten hold of my jacket and was starting to turn back toward me when the sob betrayed me. He froze for a second….then finished turning to face me. His voice came very softly to my ears.

"Bella? What is it? What's…wrong?"

Before I could stop him, he reached out and touched my cheek, felt the wetness there and just said, "Oh." I hated the tone of his voice.

"Nothing…really nothing is wrong. You're going to get _so_ tired of this, Edward."

I took hold of his wrist. His hand was still touching my face…his thumb trying to wipe away the tears on that cheek…but for all the ones he banished…more took their place. I pulled his hand away from my cheek and kissed the tips of his fingers.

"What? What am I going to get so tired of?"

"Me…crying like a baby…whenever I'm…_too_ happy…" and I sniffed and gulped and sobbed and sighed pretty much all at once. It was _very _attractive.

"Really? You're "too happy"? _That's _why you're crying?" his voice sounded relieved now. I could sense his whole body relaxing as I held onto his hand.

"Yes. I'm an idiot. I can't help it. I've always done this. You remember at the beach? I cry. I try not to…but I do. Oh…and sometimes I get the shivers too. Like now. I'm not _that _cold…really. I'm just…too happy. I love you…and that makes me too happy. I…love you." I sounded as surprised as I felt about acknowledging that I was in love…really and truly in love. And then I hiccupped…loudly.

Edward laughed and leaned in to kiss me…and we kissed through a hiccup and then we both laughed and kissed again. He let out a big sigh…

"I really had no idea how everything was going to turn out up here…but this is better than I ever could have imagined. Are you _sure_ you're okay…with…everything? It's important to me that you be okay," he'd switched to his serious tone again.

I opened my mouth to speak…and another hiccup popped out. I swallowed and held my breath…holding one finger up in front of Edward's face so he'd give me a minute. I tried again…opening my mouth and waiting a few seconds. Nothing happened. Good. I took a deep breath.

"Edward…I really think I am okay. I mean, it shouldn't have happened…between you and Tanya. It wasn't right. In fact, it was completely wrong…and you probably should have told someone…though I think I understand why you didn't.

I think she would have done what she did with you no matter how old she was; I mean, I think she would still have…um…seduced you…even if she was younger. She just happened to be older than you were.

I'm sorry she was so messed up. I can't imagine how that must have been for her. I'm just glad it doesn't seem to have totally messed _you _up. Thank you for telling me about her. Now that I know…we don't have to talk about it anymore…unless you want to.

As for you and me, I know I can't let our age difference define our relationship. I can't let that get in the way. It has to be about what we feel for each other. I _do_ love you…and I don't want to mess this up by worrying about something I can't control. It'll be okay. I'm sure it'll be okay. I love you."

"You…are amazing. I am so lucky. I love you, Bella."

Edward finished wiping away the last wetness from my cheeks with his thumbs and then kissed me gently. His lips were full and soft and covered mine in the most wonderful way. It wasn't easy to stop…even though my own lips were a bit swollen and tender from our previous kisses, as well as my bout of crying.

"I should get you home." He said. "I don't want you getting in trouble."

We both looked at the clock on the dashboard of the car. By the time we'd get back out of the hills and to my house, it would be nearing midnight. Definitely time to go.

The engine came to life with its distinctive purr and we made our way back down the gravel drive. Once we'd navigated the chained barrier and were on our way down through the hills, Edward reached over to take my hand. He placed it on his thigh and covered it with his own.

"I love your touch. I can't think about how I'm going to do without it until I see you again. This is not going to be easy. I'm probably not even going to get a chance to see you tomorrow, am I?" He squeezed my fingers.

My mind couldn't have been further from thinking about the fact that I was going to be leaving to go back to school the next day. The only express bus on Sundays was in the late morning.

"I…I hadn't thought about it. No, I don't think we'll have any time tomorrow. This is awful. I don't want to leave, Edward." How were we going to manage this? It was going to be _so _much more difficult now that we'd made love…now that we knew we were _in _love.

"I know. It's going to be a long six weeks. Do you think you'll be able to come home again before the semester is over?"

"I doubt it…unless some miracle happens. I've got term papers and exams and final projects. There's so much going on…so much I have to do. I imagine you'll be busy too. I mean…it's the end of the school year for you too. You'll have finals."

"You're right, Bella…I will have finals. I'll also have graduation."

"Whoa…that's right! Graduation. Oh my gosh…you're going to be crazy busy. I remember what my last few weeks were like. It's great. I bet there will be so much going on that you won't even have time to miss me at all." I said it teasingly…but it made me a little sad to think it might be true.

"That's completely ridiculous. The thought of you leaving tomorrow makes me miss you already. I'm serious. I can't wait for graduation and all the junk leading up to it to just be over. When it's over, I get to start working and you'll be there too and it's going to be a terrific summer…I can feel it. And then in the fall…" he didn't finish the sentence…just squeezed my fingers again.

The rest of the drive back to my house was spent talking about all the things we had to do before school ended for the year and about how we were going to manage keeping in touch through it all. We were just around the corner from my house when Edward pulled the car over to the curb and turned off the engine.

"I suppose I have to say a proper goodnight here…away from prying eyes." he said.

"Hmmm…define 'proper'…because I'm thinking that would mean that you shake my hand and say what a nice time you had at the movies. That would be completely 'proper', don't you think?"

"Maybe for two people who don't know each other…people who are just casual acquaintances. It's definitely _not _proper for two people who…love each other. Come here."

Edward popped open the clasp on my seatbelt so I could scoot over a little closer to him…so his hands could cradle my face and pull me close. His lips touched mine, gently at first, and then his mouth possessed mine and I kissed him back just as fervently…wishing there was a way to turn back the clock so this night wouldn't be almost over.

With a sigh…we both pulled back and I searched his face…memorizing everything about it…tucking away each lovely feature so I could bring it out and savor it when I was alone and missing him. Seeing the way his eyes were traveling across my face, I knew he was doing the same. With one last caress of his fingers down my cheek, he sighed again and turned to re-start the car. In less than a minute, I was home.

I had my car door opened and was stepping out before Edward could make it all the way around to get it for me.

"Bella…" he shook his head at me.

"Don't say anything. I'm perfectly capable of opening my own door, Edward…but thank you. It's very thoughtful of you."

Both my mom's car and my dad's truck were in the driveway. They were home. A soft glow was coming from the front living room window.

"They've left the light on for me." I said.

"Do you think they're asleep?" he asked me.

"Probably…I'm not sure though. We need to…be cool."

"Okay," he said "cool it is." And we walked up to the porch. "Thanks, Bella. Good movie, huh?"

"Uh…yeah. I liked it. Thanks for suggesting that one." I played along…just in case.

"Sure. So I guess I'll see you around this summer…at work probably."

"I'm sure I'll see you then. Thanks again, Edward. Goodnight."

I couldn't help it…I reached out and touched his upper arm…and felt his bicep flex at my touch. Oh God...big mistake on my part. I'd just made it even more difficult for myself. I let go of him, reluctantly, opened the unlocked door and stepped inside.

"Goodnight…and thanks again." I spoke softly.

"You're welcome. Goodnight" he said…and then silently mouthed '_I love you.'_

'_I love you too.' _

I closed the door and turned away…leaning my back against it for a moment before heading to my room. I was across the living room and almost to the lamp that had been left on low when I heard the telltale 'snick' of a door latch…my parent's bedroom door closing, meaning it had been open…meaning someone might have been listening…and then my dad's voice.

"Hey…you're home." Charlie came walking out of the short hall leading to my parent's room.

"Oh…hey Dad. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" My heart was in my throat. Why was I so nervous?

"No…you didn't wake me. Your mother went to bed earlier but I was just on my way in. I thought I heard a car pull up and then I heard voices on the porch so I knew you were home."

"Is it too late? We went to a movie and then we were just hanging out…talking. I met a couple of Edward's friends." I didn't have to say we weren't hanging out _with _the friends, did I? I mean…I could let him _think _we had been with a group of people.

"It's not too late. I thought you'd probably be home about now...but…can I ask you something, Bells?"

Oh God…he'd called me 'Bells'…it was gonna be personal.

"Sure, Dad. What is it?" Please, oh please just let me go to bed.

"Is everything okay…with you and Edward?"

"Okay? With me and…_Edward_? Um…what do you mean?" Ignorance…ignorance is good.

"Well…he seemed a little uncomfortable when we got home and he was in the kitchen earlier. I thought maybe it was kind of awkward for you or something, having him call and come over to keep you company."

Did he really mean that…or was he 'fishing'? I wasn't sure. How did I answer that?

"Well…I was a little surprised when he called…but he's nice and going to the movies and meeting his friends was fun so…it's all good. We talked about school and classes and his graduation that's coming up. Oh…and term papers and projects and all that. I think he's looking forward to college. I've told him which professors to avoid for some of the courses."

Okay…I was starting to ramble. Less is more. _'Shut-up, Bella.' _

"Alright then…I was just wondering. I mean, he is younger than you are. I didn't know if that bothered you. He's a nice kid…but…well, he's a kid."

"Oh…well…it did seem a little strange at first, but he's smart and easy to talk to. He seems pretty…mature…for his age…I think."

"Yeah…" Charlie paused, "…I think he seems pretty mature for his age too." He stared a little too intently for my liking…but just for a moment before saying, "Well…get to bed, then. I'll be taking you to catch the bus in the morning. It still leaves at 11:30, right?"

"Uh huh…11:30. We should leave here about 10:30 I guess. I'll be ready. In fact, I'll shower now so I can save some time in the morning. 'Night Dad." I leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"G'night Bella. See you in the morning. I'll get the lamp." And he waited until I'd gotten to the hallway with its low nightlight showing the way to my room before he clicked the switch on the lamp, throwing the living room into darkness.

Once in my room…I noticed that the towels, the ones Edward and I had used after our shower, were still on the floor. I grabbed them up and was just about to head to the bathroom for another shower when my phone trilled its little tone letting me know I had a text message.

_Just got home. Everyone here asleep. Okay at your house? E_

_Dad was awake. Seems…okay…I think. B_

_You think? E_

_I'm sure. Asked if I minded you being a 'kid'. B_

_Great. A kid. E_

_I stuck up for you. Said you're 'mature'. B_

_TY. I owe you. E_

_It was the least I could do…to thank you for the best sex of my life. Now, I'm going to take a nice, long, hot, soapy shower. I'll think about you! B_

And with that, I threw my phone on the bed, picked a clean pair of sleep shorts and a tee from the dresser and headed for my bedroom door. The phone, on vibrate, began buzzing like crazy…signaling an incoming call.

I just smiled…and didn't answer.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN As always, reviews are much appreciated...as are recs to other fan fic readers you may know. Thanks SO much. **_

___**Next update likely on Thursday, the 8th. :)**_


	20. Chapter 20

_CHAPTER TWENTY_

While my shower wasn't nearly as _interesting _as the one I'd had the pleasure of taking with Edward, the steady spray beating down on my body was relaxing and soothing and I needed it. It had been an extremely eventful day. Heck, the whole weekend had been phenomenal…and I was mentally and physically drained. I soaped myself all over, also not nearly as pleasant as the experience had been with Edward, and then just stood still and let the heat of the water soak into my pores.

It was still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that the last couple months of getting to know Edward 'long distance' had blossomed into love…real love…but they had. What I was feeling had to be real. It was too intense not to be. From the moment he'd answered the door at his parent's house the day before, all I'd wanted to do was be with him, touch him, feel his touch on me, hear his voice. All I'd wanted to do was share _everything_ with him.

Realizing it was going to be weeks before I could be with him again…made me feel...well…I couldn't even put it into words. I would have to get through it…but I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I just hoped it wouldn't put a strain on our very new relationship. Long distance love…didn't always work. I'd seen those relationships crash and burn…over and over…at school. 'Not ours', I told myself. 'Not ours.'

Knowing I'd better get myself to bed and at least try to get some sleep, I turned off the shower, stepped out and used one of the towels I'd brought back from the bedroom to quickly dry myself before dressing for bed. This time, the towels went into the hamper…not into my room. Mom would be proud. I did take my dirty clothes back to the room. I couldn't have my mother washing my 'sex' jeans. Those had to go back to school with me…so I could wash them there.

Back in my room, I slipped gratefully between the sheets and gathered the fluffy comforter around me. Then I remembered my phone…last seen amidst the folds as I'd tossed it before heading to the bathroom. Where was it now?

I sat up and looked over the surface of the bed. No phone. Great. It had to have slid off when I pulled the comforter up to my chin. So...why didn't I hear it hit the floor? The mystery was solved when I rolled over to the edge of the bed and saw my phone sitting atop one of the many decorative pillows that had found their way to the floor and never made it back onto the bed.

I grabbed it up and plopped myself back onto the bed…burrowing in and sighing at the luxurious feel of soft sheets and poofy pillows. This was one of the things I missed most when I was at school. The beds there just did _not _compare…no matter what you did to them, plus they were twins and so narrow. I hated narrow. I stretched my legs out wide…just because I could…and then felt a quick flutter of butterflies in my stomach as I thought about spreading my legs for Edward. Oh God…I could not go there. I was going to be a tingling mess if I did. I sucked in a deep breath and looked at my phone.

Two missed calls…both from Edward, of course. No voice mail left. Instead…a text.

_Please tell me where you took lessons in how to torture the guy who loves you. Just curious. Sure you got at 'A' in class. E_

Oh my gosh…I was never going to get tired of that… "_…the guy who loves you." _

I texted back…

_No torture intended. Just teasing. Doesn't the guy who loves me enjoy teasing from the girl who loves him? B_

And I waited for his response…and waited…and waited. I was still waiting when I fell asleep. What woke me from a particularly vivid and very sexy dream featuring me with spread legs and Edward as the reason they were in that position, was an insistent buzz from my phone. I glanced at the time before I punched the button to answer Edward's call. It was 4 AM.

"Hey…it's 4 AM." I mumbled.

"Hey…you're mumbling." He said.

"It's my normal mode of speech at 4 AM. Get used to it, Ed."

"There you go with the 'Ed' thing again. Is that going to be what I'm called when I'm pissing you off?"

"Maybe. It would be an easy way to let you know, yes?"

"Jeez…_are_ you really pissed right now?" he sounded worried.

"At 4 AM? Because the guy I love woke me at 4 AM? Why would I be pissed about that?"

"…the guy you love?" was all he said.

"I like that you picked that part to repeat to me." I said. "That was the most important part. This was a test. You passed with flying colors."

"You know…this is one of the things I love about you," he told me, "You have a sense of humor even at 4 o'clock in the morning."

"Not always, Edward. Don't push your luck. I just happen to be in a very understanding and loved up frame of mind right now. It's working in your favor." I smiled into the phone.

"Loved up? I love that I loved you up this weekend."

"Oh…you were doing really well just a few minutes ago too." My dream came flooding back.

"What? What are you…you were dreaming about me…about us?"

"Yep. I sure was. Dream Eddie wasn't quite as good as you are though…in the flesh."

"Really, Bella? 'Dream Eddie'? Never mind…I will let the nicknames go since you were kind enough to include me, by whatever name, in your dreams. So…it was a good dream then?"

"Oh…it was a good dream…but I'm not going to tell you about it, Edward."

"And why not?"

"Because I answered your text when I got out of the shower and then you never answered mine. I finally fell asleep. What happened?"

"I think what happened was that I'd already fallen asleep. When you teased about taking a hot, soapy shower and thinking of me, I tried calling but you didn't answer so I went and took a quick shower and when I came back to my room I sent you a text. You still didn't answer…at least, not before I fell asleep. I was just a little tired, Bella. I had kind of an _intense_ workout tonight. Why didn't you answer sooner?"

"I'm sorry, Edward, really. Once I got in the shower, it felt so good that I didn't want to get out. I took a much longer one than I usually do. I lost track of time…just standing under the spray after I rinsed off. Sorry you were already asleep by the time I texted you back."

"It's really okay. I wasn't _too _upset…Isabella." If a smirk was visible through a phone, I'd be staring at one right now.

"Oooh…alright…I deserved that, I guess. I was just teasing though…kind of. I wanted you to be thinking about me…in the shower. I want you to think about me…a lot. I have to keep myself in your mind so you don't forget me while I'm at school."

"There is no possible way I would forget you…and you know that. I'll be thinking about you all the time. In fact, I'll probably fail my last exams and not be able to graduate."

"Don't even tease about something like that!" I hissed at him. "You won't be able to come to school with me if you don't graduate, you know. I expect you to be there in the fall, Edward. Seriously."

He laughed into my ear.

"Don't worry. I _will _be thinking about you…a lot. You'll be my incentive to do well…and I will be there in the fall, Bella. Seriously."

"I'm counting on it."

"I'm really sorry that I'm not going to be able to see you before you leave tomorrow." The disappointment in his voice was clear.

"Me too. My dad's dropping me at the station a little after 10:30. I think it might be a little odd for you to come say goodbye first. We're "friends", remember? I'm glad you called now…when we had a chance to talk for awhile. The morning's probably going to be busy…family breakfast and all that. I'm going to miss you. I miss you already."

"I miss you too…but we'll be okay. I'll call you tomorrow night, alright?"

"That'll be perfect. I've gotta get a little studying done when I get back. Call me after dinner. I should be able to talk then. I…guess we should hang up now. It's only going to get harder, Edward. I'll talk to you soon." The last thing I wanted to do was end our call…but if I didn't get some sleep, I'd never be able to get going in the morning.

"Alright. We'll talk soon. Goodnight. Sweet dreams." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"And Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." I made myself pull the phone from my ear and click to end the call.

I snuggled deeper into my bed and let thoughts of Edward and how beautiful and loving he was and how I felt when he touched me send me off to sleep.

I was pulled from my dreams…dreams I didn't remember this time…by what I thought was a knock on my bedroom door. I stretched and rolled over without answering and then it came again.

"Come in." I glanced at the window and saw weak, watery gray light seeping past the edges of the shade. Was it that early?

My bedroom door opened and Angela's face poked its way in.

"Hey…Mom says breakfast in fifteen minutes. She wants us all to eat together before we take you to the bus station."

"Okay…but, since when do you knock on my door and actually wait for me to answer before you come in? What happened to one knock and then pouncing on me?"

"Since now. I just figured that was kid stuff. I'm not a kid anymore." She rolled her eyes to show her annoyance that I just didn't understand how grown up she'd become…this weekend.

"Who are you…and what have you done with my baby sister?" I frowned at her.

"Oh, please…" she said with an exaggerated air of disgust, "…I may be your younger sister, but I'm hardly a baby." She turned from the doorway and threw a last comment over her shoulder… "You'd better hurry up…It's pancakes and eggs."

This early? What was my mother thinking? I turned and looked at my clock which informed me that it was much later than I thought. According to the unfailingly bright green numbers, it was already 9 AM. Really? Where was the sunshine?

I threw the covers off and slid from the warm confines of my bed…yawning and stretching as I walked over to the window and raised the shade. Rivulets of rain decorated my window…coursing silently down and giving the world outside a wavering, underwater look. Great…a ride back to the city in the rain. That was fitting, I guess. I had a feeling my mood was going to be as gray as the day.

As much as I loved my parents and sister, I was usually a pretty happy to get back to school after a weekend home. I liked it when my time and space were my own again. Now though, leaving meant I was leaving Edward behind…and somehow I wasn't looking forward to my own time and space nearly as much as I had been before him.

Getting dressed was a bit of a complication since both pairs of jeans I'd brought, one that I'd worn and an extra that I'd packed, weren't in any shape to be worn again without first being washed….and there was no time to do that. In fact, the pair I'd worn to the beach and then left on the bathroom floor for my mom was wherever she had put them. I might need them at school. I checked the hamper in my closet and…voila! There they were. I dragged them out so I could pack and take them back with me.

It was mostly pajamas and a few underthings I kept here at home and I was afraid I might just have to wear either beach jeans or sex jeans back to school. Come to think of it, they were both sex jeans…except I'd been 'commando' in one pair and that one was definitely _not _an option for today.

In the very bottom drawer of my dresser, a drawer I thought was probably empty but which I opened anyway, I found one pair of very soft, very faded, very worn jeans. I pulled them out and unfolded them with a shake. One knee was torn and there were denim threads hanging from the edges of the slit. No biggie. I could deal with that. There was also a small hole worn through at the base of one of the front pockets. Hmmm…seemed too small to cause a problem. Okay…I had jeans.

I pulled off my sleep shorts and slipped my legs into the jeans but when I pulled them up something felt…weird. I walked over to the full length mirror mounted on the back of my closet door and turned my backside to it….and there, in most of its glory, _was _my backside. Well…that was a slight exaggeration, but the jeans did have a large tear that went from one side of the leg almost to the other…right at the base of my ass cheek. If I was standing still, it probably wouldn't be too noticeable….but if I moved to walk, sit, climb a stair…there would definitely be skin on display.

There was no way my parents were going to let me wear these out of the house. In fact, I was surprised they were still in the drawer. This type of thing is something my mom would normally have tossed long ago. Somehow they had escaped her.

There was no question but that I _had _to wear them. I just had to make them presentable. Wondering what I might scavenge from the depths of my walk-in closet, I stepped in and turned on the light. Tucked back in a corner with a few other hanging pieces of forgotten high school clothes was an old pale blue work shirt…a Navy work shirt I think it was called…the kind the sailors had worn 'back in the day'. Where the heck had I gotten it? I decided it didn't matter how it had appeared in my closet; all that mattered was that it would cover up my backside if I used the sleeves to tie it around my waist after I'd put on the long sleeved tee shirt I'd brought and not yet worn.

I finished dressing and tied the work shirt's sleeves around my waist. Not my usual style…but maybe it would fly. I left my room for the bathroom and then, business done there, headed for the kitchen. Had I been blind, I would still have found the kitchen by the heady scent of hot, fresh pancakes and maple syrup wafting from it.

"Morning…and oh my gosh, it smells amazing in here, Mom. I wasn't sure I was that hungry but now…" I grabbed a plate from the counter and helped myself to two pancakes and a couple of just done over-medium eggs from the griddle on the stove.

My mother smiled. There wasn't much she liked better than feeding her children…or anyone else for that matter. My dad and Angela were already making progress on their breakfasts. Around a mouthful of food my sister mumbled,

"We didn't wait for you. It would have gotten cold."

"Angela," my mom said, "please don't talk with your mouth full."

Angela swallowed. "Sorry, Mom."

My mother brought her food to the table and we all sat talking and eating. No one said anything about my shirt. I kept waiting for someone to say something about Edward, but no one said anything about him either. I figured my dad must have filled my mother in on our short conversation from when I got home last night.

My plate was practically cleaned when I pushed myself away from the table with a small groan.

"Oh Mom…your pancakes are always so good…but now I'm full and I want to go back to bed." Before she could say anything I continued "But…I'm going to go pack up my things and I'll be ready in a few minutes. Do you want me to strip my sheets? I don't think I did last time I was home." I walked over and put my dishes into the sink.

"Don't worry about it, hon. Just don't make the bed. I'll get the sheets later."

"Okay," I said and started to leave the room.

"Oh…and Bella? Why is that shirt tied around your waist?"

"What? Oh…this?" I held out a sleeve. "Well, I don't need it yet, but it can get a little cool on the bus sometimes…not enough for a jacket…so I thought this would be handy."

"Oh…well, that makes sense then." She turned back to the kitchen.

It didn't take long to finish getting ready. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and add a touch of make-up before re-packing my small bag. I'd just finished and was thinking about Edward and the beach as I looked around my room at all the ocean related things on my walls. I had loved the beach and the sea before Edward…but now they held even better memories than ever had before.

A short while later, we were all in the car and headed to the bus station to drop me off. It seems a trip to the mall was in order for the family after I left. Angela needed new warm-ups from the sporting goods store and my mother wanted some new gadget from the kitchen boutique. My dad was the chauffeur.

We were used to our routine by now so my parents didn't feel the need to wait with me for the bus to arrive…or for it to leave again once I'd boarded. I kissed my mom and sister goodbye while my dad got my bag from the trunk. He went in with me long enough to make sure I got my ticket. Another kiss…and he was on his way back to the car.

When I saw them drive out, I glanced at the clock on the station wall. It was 10:50. The bus usually arrived about fifteen minutes before the next departure time so I had about twenty-five minutes to wait. There were a couple of banks of chairs in the middle of the room…each with two rows placed back to back. I found an empty seat on the end of one row and took it.

I grabbed my phone and sent Edward a text.

_Waiting for the bus. Missing you. B_

I waited a minute. No response. He must be busy.

_You must be busy. Are you busy? B _

I waited again. Still no response. Now I was depressed.

_I wish I could have seen you before I left. B_

This time my phone trilled back. I eagerly read the message.

_Turn around. E_

What? What was he talking about?

_What are you talking about? B_

_In your seat, Bella. Turn around in your seat…please. E_

I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach and I turned quickly to look at the seat behind me and there he was, angled sideways and smiling at me…with his phone in one hand and his other reaching up to cup my cheek and pull me closer as he leaned over to kiss me. It was a sweet and tender kiss…and the first was followed by a second before I pulled back to look at him.

"What are you doing here? What if my parents were still here?"

"I didn't think they were…but I had to be sure. You told me what time you were leaving so I gave it my best guess what time they'd drop you off. I couldn't park though, until I was sure they weren't still here. I finally parked when I didn't see their car and then I looked through the windows to see if I could see you and make sure you were alone. I wanted to surprise you." He smiled again. "Are you surprised?"

"Yes…very…and _so _glad you're here."

Edward had moved to sit beside me and I leaned toward him and kissed him again. He took my hands and we just sat and talked about little nothings as we watched the minutes tick by on the station clock. Much too soon a large bus pulled in and the announcement was made…the announcement I didn't want to hear.

"I have to go." I said…squeezing his hands tightly.

"I know. I'm going to miss you. I'll still call you tonight, though…to talk. Texting is okay for quick stuff…but I'll want to hear your voice."

I stood facing him and untied the shirt from my waist. It was wrinkly in the sleeves now, but I didn't care. I put it on and started tying up the tails so that it was shorter…hitting just at my waistline.

"Are you sure you'll think about me…remember me?" He stood and took both my hands in his.

"Of course. That's not a serious question, is it?"

"Well….I just wanted to make sure."

The bus started boarding and Edward picked up my bag. He carried it for me as I walked beside him. The driver took the bag and stowed it in the luggage compartment and then closed the large doors.

"You're my only new passenger this morning, Miss." He said. "Time to go," and he climbed aboard and got into his seat.

"One more kiss." Edward said…and planted a quick, sweet one on my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

As I turned away from him and walked toward the bus, I could feel the cool air where the slit in my jeans separated with each movement of my leg…and as I lifted that leg to take the first high step up into the bus, I knew a rather indecent portion of the skin of my ass cheek was on perfect display. I glanced over my shoulder to see him staring open-mouthed as I said, "Think about me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN MAJOR apologies for not making the planned update of the 8th. Out of town and totally misjudged amount of time it would take me to get ready. Didn't have time to proof and upload to you. Will do my BEST not to let that happen again. Still out of town for a few more days...but will get next update out ASAP after that. Thanks SO much for reading and reviewing. Both are much appreciated...as always. **_


	21. Chapter 21

_CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE_

I rather enjoyed the surprised look on Edward's face as the bus pulled out of the station. He stood there staring at me and then slowly shook his head and smiled.

We'd only been on the road for about ten minutes when my cell signaled a text. Edward hadn't waited long to send it.

_You really don't play fair. You know that, right? E_

'_All's fair in love and war', isn't it? Had to make sure I'm on your mind. B_

_You're definitely on my mind, Bella._

_Mission accomplished. _

_You have the sweetest looking ass in the world but I hope you're going to cover it up before you get off that bus…please._

_Don't worry. My shirt is tied around my waist again. The ass was just for you. _

_I'm glad to hear it. I'll call you tonight. I love you. E_

_I love you back. B_

The rest of the ride back to San Francisco was uneventful. I tried reading a paperback, but it didn't hold my interest. I dug a textbook from my backpack…but that was even less interesting. Instead, I spent the time letting my mind wander over thoughts of Edward and of the two of us together as I stared at the blur of scenery rushing past my window. Eventually, I dozed and woke to stare out the window some more and dozed again and before I knew it, I was back in the city.

Everything looked the same…but everything was different. _I_ was different. I was in love. More importantly…I was in love with someone who loved me back. It was exhilarating.

It was mid-afternoon when I dug the key out of my backpack and let myself in to my room. Sunday afternoon. I expected to find Rosalie but…

"Rosalie?" One quick glance verified that our room was unoccupied.

Where would Rosalie be? I had no clue…but it was kind of nice having our room to myself for a little while. Rosalie and I had actually turned out to be pretty compatible as roommates, but she _could _be a little much to handle sometimes.

I unpacked and threw my dirty clothes into the hamper in my closet, hesitating briefly before I tossed in the beach jeans and the 'commando' sex jeans. It certainly had been an eventful couple of days. It seemed impossible that so much had happened in such a short period of time. My head was still spinning…in a good way.

I had my small bag unpacked, everything sorted out and put away and had just changed into a less revealing pair of jeans (I grinned when I recalled Edward saying I had the "sweetest looking ass in the world") when Rosalie burst into the room.

"Bella! You're back! How was your trip to the home place?" she dropped some books on her desk with a crash and plopped herself down on her bed with a groan. Without waiting for an answer from me…typical Rosalie…she continued with "I am SO over studying for my test tomorrow. I swear…going to the library on a Sunday should seriously be against the law. It's not _even _fair that it's open on Sundays. I mean…that's just wrong. Can you believe I was there on a Sunday? Soooo…how _was_ your weekend? You're so quiet."

As if I'd had a chance to answer.

"Um…fine. You know how it is at home."

"Wait a minute. You seemed more eager than that when you left here. Is anything wrong? Did something happen? I thought you were looking forward to going home."

"I was. I just really needed to get out of here, that's all. I needed a…change of scenery. Nothing's wrong. Nothing happened." Rosalie really didn't know about Edward and it wasn't in my plans to fill her in just yet.

"There wasn't anything special going on?"

"No, Rose…nothing special. I just needed a break…before all the craziness of the next few weeks."

"Oh…Okay." She sounded disappointed.

"So…how was everything here the last couple of days? Anything exciting happening around here?"

Rosalie spent the next half hour filling me in on all the news of the dorm and the campus in general. She seemed to know almost everyone and everyone knew her so if there _was _anything happening, Rose would be aware of it. By the end of her "report", I was exhausted. Her energy level never ceased to amaze me.

"So…" she smiled at me, "…now you know all the dirt." She paused and a look of concentration appeared on her face before she continued, "There is _one _thing I can't share with you just yet…but something's in the works that affects you and me. I don't want to say anything else right now…but I should be able to tell you about it in a few days."

"What? You've got something to tell that affects _me_…but you're not going to tell me?" What was she up to?

"What are you up to, Rosalie? I don't like surprises…remember?" I frowned at her…like that would do any good.

"Bella…some surprises are good surprises. Have you not discovered that yet?" the grin on her face made me a little less apprehensive…but only a little.

"Well…." I was remembering back to the discussion I'd had with Edward about surprises…the discussion that had resulted in me being surprised with a very eventful moonlit night on the beach, "I suppose that is a possibility…but they still worry me."

"Seriously…not to worry. If it all works out, it will definitely be a great surprise. I know you'll love it!"

"You're really not going to tell me? Really?"

"As soon as I can, I will, Bella. Promise." She made the "cross my heart and hope to die" sign on her chest and smiled even wider.

"Oh…I wish you hadn't said anything at all." I let out an exasperated groan. "Listen…I'm going to study for a little while. I didn't get any homework at all done this weekend and my morning class was cancelled for tomorrow but my afternoon ones weren't and I've gotta get some studying done tonight. Do you want to have dinner a little early…like in an hour or so…after I've gotten at least a little studying in?"

"Sure…I'll go with you." She didn't move from her bed.

"Okay." I sat myself at my desk and took out books and notebooks. "You're not going to study for awhile too?"

"No…no way. I told you…I've been to the library already today. I think it's naptime. Just let me know when you're ready for dinner and I'll be ready too." She took headphones from the shelf above her bed, turned on her music and closed her eyes. From high energy to "naptime" in seconds. The girl was one of a kind.

_If only I could do that right now, _I thought. I was still tired (and a bit sore, actually) from all the "activity" of my weekend…but it had certainly been worth it. No regrets. In fact…I was in heaven just thinking about my weekend and Edward and all that had happened.

It wasn't easy focusing my mind on the reading material in front of me, but I managed to do it for about an hour. When I glanced up and saw the time, I looked over at Rose. She looked like Sleeping Beauty…from the movie, all blonde hair and long lashes and flawless porcelain skin. I sighed…I would never look like that…not in a million years. What was it Edward saw in me?

I gently moved one earpiece away from her ear…hearing a bit of the loud rock music Rosalie was 'listening' to as I did. It still surprised me that she could sleep through music like that. I needed soft classical or instrumental piano if I wanted to fall asleep to music…something I'd done since babyhood according to my mother.

"Rose," I said her name in a volume just above a whisper, "It's time to wake up…for dinner." No response. Rose did not wake easily. When she did wake up, you never knew if she was going to be cranky or happy. The girl was mercurial sometimes. I was always fearful when I was the one bringing her out of her nap.

I leaned in a little closer…but not _too _close. She'd been known to flail an arm when startled awake and I'd barely missed getting punched in the eye before. I tried again.

"Rosalie…It's time for dinner." This time she stirred and opened one eye.

"Ugh…has it been an hour already." She asked…as she slipped off her headphones and let them drop on the bed beside her.

"It has. I really need to go early so I can come back and do some more studying…plus, I haven't eaten since breakfast so I'm a little hungry now. Are you going to come with me?" I hadn't needed lunch since Mom's breakfasts always kept me satisfied for hours, but dinner was probably a good idea.

Rosalie gave a small groan and hoisted herself to a sitting position.

"I'm coming…I'm coming." She stretched and stood…still looking sleepy.

At that very moment, there was a knock on our door and a booming male voice said, "Hey! It's me! Open up!"

The effect on Rose was so immediate it was almost comical. Her eyes opened wider, her mouth smiled and she looked completely alert. Emmett, whose voice had boomed through the barrier of our door, had that effect on her. They'd never gone out, but I happened to know that Rosalie would definitely say "Yes" if he asked her. I wasn't quite sure why he seemed immune to her charms. It was weird. She could have had almost any guy she wanted…but the one she wanted was Emmett…and she didn't have him…yet. I hadn't counted her out completely.

While this was going through my mind, Rosalie had quickly smoothed her hair, walked over to the door and opened it for him.

"Hi Emmett." She smiled her dimpled smile at him. "What's up?"

"Hey Rosalie. I'm gonna catch an early dinner. Thought I'd see if you guys were going soon."

"Hey. How are you, Emmett?" I added to Rosalie's greeting. "Good weekend?" He skirted around Rosalie to get into our room.

"Yeah…it was okay. Nothing special. So…I'm starving. You guys wanna go to dinner or what?"

"Sure," Rosalie said. "We were just getting ready to leave. Let's go." She opened the door wider and stepped into the hall. Emmett and I dutifully followed her. One of these days I was going to have to ask him why it seemed he mostly just tolerated Rose. He had to see how enamored she was with him. It was curious because Emmett usually _loved _the attention of girls like Rose.

Rosalie kept up a stream of conversation with Emmett…and, to his credit, he was polite and attentive. It was a good thing because my mind, now that I wasn't studying, was back home…with Edward. It had only been a matter of hours since I'd seen him, but the prospect of those hours stretching into the days and weeks that I knew were inevitable before we could be together again was already weighing me down. I quietly followed Emmett and Rosalie into the dining hall where we wove our way through the lines to get our food.

Rosalie chose a table near the windows and we sat. I found myself picking at the salad and chicken breast I'd put on my plate. The more I thought about Edward, the more depressed I felt and the more my appetite dwindled away. I tried to make myself interject comments into the conversation going on between Rosalie and Emmett because they were both giving me odd looks from time to time. Emmett was the one who finally said something.

"Okay, Bella…" he looked at me intently, "…what's the deal?"

"What? What do you mean? What deal?" I wondered if playing dumb with two of my closest friends was going to work.

"Don't try to play dumb with us. We _know _something's going on…don't we, Rose?" he looked from me to her.

"Of course we do." Rose agreed. "You just are _not _yourself, Bella. Something happened this weekend. Spill it."

So much for playing dumb. I should have known better. It was rare that I was able to pull anything over on either of them. They had known almost before I did that Mike wasn't going to work out…and they had been there for me. They knew me. They cared about me. Still…I wasn't sure how to tell them what was going on in my head. I didn't think I could just blurt out that I was in love…with a seventeen year old guy. I looked down at my plate…silently.

"Is it that guy, Edward?" Emmett hadn't said anything about Edward since his visit aside from that he thought Edward seemed like a nice guy. So how did he hit the nail on the head with his first guess?

Rosalie, on the other hand, knew that I was "occasionally" texting or talking to that "guy who might come to school here in the fall". I'd actually managed not to say anything else to her.

"Edward? What makes you think something's going on with Edward?" I tried to sound nonchalant.

Rosalie jumped on it.

"Something's going on with the guy who might come to school here? IS he coming to school here? Did you find out?" She squinted her eyes and looked at me…hard. "And…why are you blushing, Bella? Oh my gosh…something IS going on. What happened? Tell us!"

"I…he…yes, he's coming to school here in the fall. I…saw him this weekend. I…" my words faded away. I could feel my blush deepening. This time it was Emmett who chimed in.

"So…I'm thinking Edward has a crush on you or something. Is that it? Did you see him this weekend? Did he hit on you?"

I took a deep breath and decided that I had to trust that my two closest friends would understand and support me. It really wasn't fair to assume the worst of them…the worst being that they would think I was crazy or dumb or weird for being in love with someone who was still in high school at the moment.

"I have something to tell you both…something important." And I began explaining that Edward and I had been in contact with each other frequently since his visit here and that things had developed and that this past weekend everything had come together and that I really cared about him.

I didn't mention the sex (that was private)…or say the "love" word, just yet…but I could tell from the looks on their faces that they knew I was serious.

"So…you really like this guy and I've known nothing about it? What the heck, Bella? Roommates are supposed to share this stuff." Rosalie pouted prettily. "I can't believe you didn't tell me anything. I mean, I knew you'd texted him sometimes but I thought it was just about him coming to school here. Jeez…I don't even know what he looks like." The pout became more pronounced.

"Don't pout, Rose." I told her. "It makes wrinkles around your mouth. You'll regret doing that by the time you're forty. And…he's gorgeous…like seriously beautiful."

Emmett got a disgusted look on his face.

"Gah! Don't say stuff like that while I'm here, Bella. No guy is beautiful. That is just so wrong." He turned to Rosalie. "He looks fine for a dude. I mean…he doesn't have missing teeth or a receding chin or anything, okay. He's normal." He turned to me. "That's how to talk about a guy around another guy. Okay? You can talk the "beautiful" stuff later."

"Sorry, Emmett. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." I grinned at him.

"It's just weird, that's all. So…you do like him though, huh? Even though he's a little…uh…young?" Ever the diplomat…that was Emmett.

"Well, you see…that's kind of why I hadn't said anything. I'm still getting used to the idea myself…of _really _liking a younger guy. I can't decide if three years is a lot…or not such a big deal. It's a new thing for me. I mean…I don't think three years will be any big deal when we're both in our twenties but right now…he's still…seventeen." The last word was barely audible as I spoke it.

"Well…" Rosalie began, "does he _look _like a kid or something? I mean...if he looks really young or is immature…that might make it seem a little…odd…though I can't see you being attracted to someone who acts immature at all. That would _so _not be like you now. I know you learned your lesson with 'he who shall not be named'." Rose always wrinkled her nose in distaste when she referred to Mike…and she never said his name anymore.

Emmett chimed in again.

"He doesn't look like a kid, Rosalie. If I hadn't known he was an incoming freshman, I would have thought he was our age by looking at him."

"Okay…I have to see this guy. Surely you have a picture…on your phone, at least?" Rosalie gave me a stare.

"Actually, Rose…I don't. I've never thought to take one. It just didn't occur to me this weekend. We were…busy…most of the time." I could feel the blush betray my cheeks yet again.

"Oh my gosh! "Busy". Do tell." Rosalie leaned forward in her chair. Emmett quickly stood.

"Okay...I'm outta here. I'll see you guys later, but Bella…he seemed like a nice guy and if you like him…like him. Fuck what anyone else thinks." And with that he grabbed his tray and headed toward the exit.

My mouth had dropped open at his last comment. I snapped it shut again and turned from watching Emmett's back to look into Rosalie's curious eyes.

"I'm serious, Bella. What the heck happened this weekend? Spill it." She leaned toward me even more…resting her chin in her hands, elbows propped on the table.

"Rose…I like him…a lot. We're still getting to know each other and it's not always easy long distance like this…but I do know that I'm serious about him…and, somehow, he feels the same way about me."

That's it…that was all I could say right now. Being _in love _with Edward was still so new to me that I wanted to keep it for myself awhile longer. I wanted to savor it and keep the knowledge of it just for me. I was hoping my explanation would be enough for Rosalie because she could be like a dog with a bone sometimes…just not willing to let it go.

Rosalie sighed and said, "Gosh. That's wonderful, Bella. You deserve it…especially after Shithead."

Okay, I was wrong…she did say _his_ name, but she changed it to whatever insulting label suited her mood. I guess you could say she _really _didn't like him. She actually never had. I'd just been too blind and too anxious for a "relationship" to see the real guy like Rose had. In my defense, she'd had a lot more experience in the world of boyfriends than I'd had.

To my surprise…she didn't press me any further for details about Edward. Instead she picked at the remains of her dinner with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Rose? What's on _your _mind? Come on. I shared. Now it really is your turn. What's going on?" I was as curious about what she was thinking as she had been about my "news".

"Okay…I AM bursting to tell you. It's not a sure thing yet so I don't want either of us to get our hopes up…Huh…who the hell am I trying to kid? My hopes are _already _up."

She took a deep breath and a big smile crossed her face.

"We talked about this a little before, Bella, but it was such a pipe dream. I know neither of us thought it was going to be possible but something's come up and I think we could do it and I really want to and I should know more in a couple of days and I hope you want to too and I hope it works 'cause it would be so great and…"

I finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Rosalie! WHAT? Just tell me!"

If it was possible, her smile widened even more before she said,

"How would you like to move out of the dorms and into an apartment for our last year of college?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN Thanks for reading, reviewing and recommending. They are much appreciated. **_**_Next update within a week. :)_**


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER_ TWENTY-TWO_

"You're not serious. Are you serious?"

I was sure this wasn't possible. Rosalie and I _had _talked about getting an apartment together, but it was so expensive here in the city that we knew it was out of our reach unless we crammed ourselves into a place with lots of other roommates and that just wasn't something either of us wanted to do…not even to live off campus.

Rosalie sat there looking like the Cheshire cat.

"I'm completely serious…but it's not a for sure thing just yet. I should find out in a day or two. Are you still interested…if it works out? Please say "yes"!"

"Of course I'm still interested, Rose. I'd love us to have our own place…but how? Details please." If she was getting my hopes up for nothing I was going to be so unhappy.

Rosalie began explaining while I listened…and my hopes went zooming upward.

It seemed that her parents had a friend who had a two bedroom apartment in the city. The friend was waiting to find out about a one year long job assignment out of the country and didn't want to lose the apartment. He wasn't allowed to actually sub-let the apartment since the landlord wanted to keep him "on the hook" as the responsible party, but he was being allowed to find "caretakers" to live in the apartment and make sure everything stayed in working order and that it wasn't left vacant for a year. Rosalie and I would be the caretakers. We wouldn't have to pay the full rent amount; we would pay an almost token amount into an account the friend would set up.

This sounded almost too good to be true.

"Rose…you know that this sounds too good to be true, right?" Of the two of us, I was always the more cautious.

"I know, I know. It all comes down to whether John…that's his name…gets the job assignment. The other part IS true. He's happy to have us take care of the apartment for him. He knows if we mess something up he has my parents to make sure we make it right…so he's not too worried about having college students live in it. Besides…it's not like we're freshman…or guys…or anything. How much could go wrong from having two college _senior_ girls live there?"

"Well…that's true. It's not like we're crazy partiers or anything. Your parents know that. Gosh…this would be so cool. Oh…I never should have made you tell me. How am I going to study now? My mind is going to be on getting into this apartment!" I guess it would have been better if I had let Rosalie keep her surprise for awhile longer.

"Speaking of studying, Rose, I have to get back and get to it…or at least try to. Are you ready to go?"

She nodded and we both gathered and dumped our garbage before heading back to our room…heads together and excitedly planning what to do in "our" apartment. It probably wasn't a good idea to get our hopes up like this…but it was impossible not to. We were both too excited about it. Waiting to hear whether or not it was going to become a reality was going to be very difficult.

There was a folded note addressed to Rose tacked to our door when we got back. "Oooh! A note for me!" She grabbed it from the door and hurriedly opened and read it. I watched her face fall and a frown replaced her smile. She belonged to a study group for one of her classes and they were getting together and needed her there.

"Ugh…I thought I was done for the night." Rosalie crumpled the paper inside her clenched hand. "I really should go. We're working on a group project for this stupid class and I have to do my part. Oh well…it'll help keep my mind off _our_ apartment." She started stuffing things into her backpack. "I don't know how late we'll study. I don't have an early class tomorrow so it may be late."

As she headed out the door, she tossed over her shoulder, "Don't wait up!" And then she was gone. Whirlwind Rosalie…as usual.

I dragged the chair away from my desk and let myself drop onto it with a groan. I _had _to study for at least awhile longer. Edward was supposed to call and I wanted to be able to talk…especially now that Rosalie was out. Actually, now that she and Emmett knew something was going on between Edward and me, I wouldn't have to be so secretive about phone calls and texts. That was going to be nice.

I grabbed my headphones and turned on the soft piano music I loved listening to while I studied. I made sure my phone was clearly visible though, because I didn't want to miss the call from Edward. I had to make sure I saw it when he called.

It took some effort to keep my mind off both thinking about Edward _and _the possibility of an apartment, but I'd learned to study around many different kinds of distractions in the last few years so I made good progress undisturbed for almost two hours. That's when I saw the incoming call. It was the one name I wanted to see: _Edward._ I quickly pulled off my headphones and clicked to answer.

"Hey", I breathed into the phone…my stomach instantly aflutter at the anticipation of hearing his voice.

"Hey yourself," his velvety smooth voice caressed my ear. "Is this a good time to talk? Have you had enough time to study?"

"Yeah…I've had enough…and even if I hadn't, I would _not_ let you hang up." I paused before saying, "How can I already miss you so much when it's only been hours?"

Too sappy? Too needy? Too possessive? Damn it. I held my breath. I didn't have to wait long for his response.

"I don't know…but I already miss you that much too. It's weird, isn't it? I guess this is what love does to you?" The question in his voice echoed the one in my mind.

"That still feels a little weird too, doesn't it? I mean…in a really _good_ way," I was quick to add.

"Yeah…it does…in a really good way. I like being in love…with you." I could almost hear the smile in his voice and it put one on my face to hear him say those words.

"You're too perfect. You know that, right? I mean…guys aren't supposed to be so perfect. You always know just the thing to say. It's scary."

"Do you want me _not _to tell you I love you? Is it _that _scary?"

Was he teasing or serious?

"Are you…teasing or serious, Edward?"

"Teasing. Totally teasing…because, until you tell me to stop saying 'I love you', I'm not going to stop. Get used to it…okay? Please? Because…I…_love_…you."

"What?"

"I love you, Bella."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said…I love you."

Um…one more time, please." By this time I was grinning from ear to ear. There was a long pause.

"Oh…I get it. Very funny. Ha ha." He sounded like he was grinning too.

"Teasing. Totally teasing, Edward…except about you saying the perfect thing. I _love _hearing you say you love me…because I love you too." I sighed, "And I miss you."

"I think we're going to have to get used to that…to missing each other. Think positively…it could be longer…but it isn't. It'll pass."

"I know…I just hope it passes quickly."

He sighed, "So do I."

There was silence from both of us for several seconds.

"So…what have you been doing since I left?" I figured I'd better change the subject before things got too depressing.

Edward launched into the details of the rest of his Sunday with his family. As I listened I moved from my desk chair to my bed and lay back with the phone cradled beside my cheek. I made comments from time to time, but I soon closed my eyes and mostly just listened to his voice. I didn't realize I had sighed so audibly until Edward said,

"Why the big sigh? Are you tired?"

"Oh…no. You heard that, huh? I was just relaxing to your voice, that's all. Have I told you I love listening to you talk?"

"Um…no, I don't think you've told me that. I thought maybe I was boring you…or that you were tired."

"Really, I'm not. I'm just relaxing…lying down…here…on my bed."

There was a moment of silence.

"Where's your roommate?" he asked.

"Study group. She said not to wait up."

More silence. Then…

"Torture…this is torture. I want to be with you, Bella. Not in six weeks…now!"

" 'Be with me'…how?" My voice was breathy as I asked because I had something pretty sexy on my mind.

I _heard _him swallow.

"Don't do this now, Bella. I don't think I can handle it."

" 'Be with me'…how…Edward?"

He exhaled and said "Fuck…" into the phone at the same time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN Sorry for the shortened chapter...but real life's been a bit busy so writing time has suffered. I did want to update with something and...this seemed a "nice" place to stop. Thanks for reading, reviewing and recommending! (LOVE those three R's!) Next update within a week. **_


	23. Chapter 23

_CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE_

The next words he breathed into the phone were, "Why are you doing this? This is too hard."

Without really thinking, I heard the words come out of my mouth.

"I wish."

He understood what I meant.

"You…are bad tonight. Do you think I'm kidding about this?" he didn't sound like he was kidding.

"I don't think you're kidding, Edward…but I'm not kidding either. I want to talk about _how_ you want to be with me. Please. You're the one who started something, you know. It's completely your fault and I'm not going to let you off the hook so easily."

"What are you talking about, Bella? What did I start?"

I took a breath.

"You started me caring about sex…about feeling the connection two people can feel…when they're in love. I want to feel your hands on me, your breath on me, your mouth on me. I want to feel _you_…_**in **_me."

Edward's groan into my ear had an instant effect deep inside me. The ache bloomed.

"I'm aching inside, Edward. I need…not to ache."

His voice in my ear was quieter, deeper…I could feel the tension in it when he asked,

"What do you want me to do?"

I couldn't believe I was going to say this…into the phone.

"Make me come."

"Fuck…oh fuck. I…I'll have to talk quietly, Bella. My family is still up and around. It's not that late. I…you…are the only one who's going to be able to…do this…right now. I…on the other hand…am the one who is going to have an almost lethal case of blue balls." A slight laugh entered my ear. "_See _how much I love you?"

I felt suddenly, completely…awful.

"Oh…this isn't fair to you at all. I'm so sorry. Never mind. Really. I can't believe I was being so selfish."

The ache was still there…and I was afraid it was going to be there for a long time.

I was wrong.

"Bella…now that you have implanted the picture of you…coming for me…do you really think I'm going to let _you_ off that easily? No. In fact, I'm not going to _let_ you off at all. I'm going to _get _you off instead. I'll take care of myself…later."

I tried to swallow…but my mouth and throat had gone instantly dry. I couldn't speak…except to manage a squeaky, "Are you sure?"

Instead of answering my question, Edward asked his own.

"Are you still lying down on your bed?"

"I am…yes." I closed my eyes and listened to his voice.

"Am I on speaker phone so you can put the phone down beside your head?"

"Yes." I reached over and set it down. "It's on the shelf now…right behind my head. I…can hear you fine…almost like you're right behind me."

Oh…how I wished he was right behind me.

"What are you wearing?" his voice was soft and low, but I could hear him in my otherwise silent room.

"I'm still in jeans and a tee shirt."

"The jeans you were wearing when you said goodbye to me today?"

"No…not those jeans. I changed. I told you…those were just for you."

"I'm glad." He paused. "The things you'll do to yourself now…I want you to think of me doing them to you." He paused again, longer this time, but I didn't interrupt. "I wish it _was_ me doing them to you."

"So do I." I said.

"Pull your tee shirt off…slowly…and tell me when it's off."

I slipped my arms, one at a time, from the long sleeves and then slowly pulled the shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor beside my bed.

"It's off."

"What color is your bra? What's it like?"

"Lavender…it's lavender and it has lace cups."

"I can see your nipples through the lace…they're pink and perfect. Touch them through the lace…just barely touch them…the very tips of them…with your fingers."

I did as he said and my nipples tightened and rose in response to my touch. The ache low in my belly intensified.

"Undo your pants…slowly…first the button…" my fingers slipped from my breasts to my jeans and unfastened the button there, "and now the zipper…slowly." I did as he said.

"Lift your hips from the bed and slowly slide your jeans off your sweet, sweet backside."

"My 'sweet, sweet backside'?" I smiled.

"I'm editorializing. I have a right. It's _me _doing this to you, remember…and I know you have the sweetest ass anywhere…and I can say so if I want to. Now…don't interrupt me." I could almost see his matching smile.

"Sorry…no more interruptions." I was still grinning…but it slipped from my lips when I heard his next words come from the phone.

"Now…I'm going to start right below your breasts and slide my hand down the center of your belly…slowly…lower and lower…slipping beneath the edge of your panties…" a pause and then, harshly, "…You _are _wearing panties, aren't you, Bella? Please don't tell me you were bare assed under your jeans today."

"Yes…I'm wearing panties…well…a thong. It matches my bra."

I heard him suck in a harsh breath…and then, so low that I barely heard it, "I don't know if I can fucking _do_ this." I wasn't sure if that was meant for me to hear, so I waited.

"My hand is flat on your belly…and sliding beneath the edge of your panties."

I guess he was going to give it a try anyway. I slipped my hand down my belly and under the lace triangle front of the thong.

"I'm slowly rubbing you…getting closer and closer to your sex…but not touching you there yet. I'm pressing and rubbing and you're getting wet…and ready for me. Can you feel it…your sex…getting wetter?"

"Yes…God, yes…" the crotch of my panties was slick with it.

"I'm taking my hand away…and pushing your jeans the rest of the way down…off your legs."

I pushed my jeans down and kicked them away…off the side of the bed. I was now lying on my bed in nothing but my bra and thong. A thought…a scary thought…came to me. Rosalie. What if she came back while Edward and I were…_busy_? I'd been silent for awhile. He'd noticed.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"I…I just had a thought. What if Rose comes back…while I'm…you know…before I'm finished?"

"Um…are your jeans off?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Then climb into bed. If she comes back, you're in bed and we're talking on the phone. You can make that work, right?"

"Okay…I'm getting under the covers." I got off my bed, pulled the covers back and slid between the sheets. "I'm in."

Edward cleared his throat…and said "Okay…"

"One of my hands in on your breast, reaching inside your bra and pushing it down, away from you so your breast is pushed up…and into my hand. My thumb and finger are pulling and rolling the nipple. It tightens and hardens."

I did as he said and my nipple responded just as he described.

"My other hand pulls your thong down…first one side and then the other…little by little until it's at your knees and your sex is exposed to me. I bring my hand back to you…and cup you…and my middle finger slips between your lips…feeling the wetness there…swirling it around…pushing deeper until I feel your sweet, tender bud. You pulse under my finger."

I _was_ pulsing…under my own finger…but behind my closed eyelids it was Edward's face I saw above me…so it was _his _finger I felt bringing me so much pleasure…bringing me closer. My breathing was ragged…first held and then released in a series of low moans as the pulsing intensified and I was closer and closer.

"Oh God…Bella…"

I had a feeling my moans…which I couldn't control…weren't making this any easier for Edward.

"I'm close…so close, Edward."

"You squeeze your legs together…to trap my hand…and press my finger harder, deeper into you. It's building…you're almost there."

I was…I was on the brink…and then his words put me over the edge.

"Come for me, Bella…I want to hear you come for me."

And I did…clenching and releasing and clenching again. It was so good…especially because I could still hear his voice in response to the sounds I was making.

"Fuck…oh fuck." But then he said, "Bella…I have to hang up. I have to go. I'm sorry."

"What?" I managed. "What?" I said again. "Why?"

"Just…I _need _to go now. I need to get in the shower. _Now_. Okay?"

I finally got it.

"Oh my gosh…Okay. Go! I'm sorry." And then I got the giggles. The thought of poor Edward in the state he must have been in after the very sexy time we'd just spent on the phone gave me the giggles. I couldn't help it. I thought he would hang up and leave and I was ready to just lay there and enjoy the heaviness of my legs and the bittersweet ache that was no longer painful but now just felt amazing as it melted away. But then I heard him.

"Are you giggling? You're _giggling…at me."_

"I'm not! That would be so wrong!" and then another giggle _and_ a little snort escaped me.

"You just wait, Bella. You will be _so _sorry the next time I see you. But right now…I wasn't kidding. I'm outta here. I'll call you later."

Oh gosh…was he really upset with me? And then,

"I love you…" and he was gone.

I smiled as I thought of him saying he loved me…as he hurried to take his "shower".

I was really happy that Rosalie hadn't yet made it back from her study group…but it was getting later and, while I wanted to just curl up and go to sleep, I knew I'd better actually get ready for bed. She'd probably be back soon.

I pushed my panties off the rest of the way…they had made their way to my ankles…before I tossed back my blankets and got up from my bed. I had just thrown on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt and grabbed my bathroom caddy when I heard the key in the lock.

Rosalie came in quietly…until she saw that I was up.

"Hey! You're still up. I thought you might have gone to bed early. You looked pretty tired after dinner. Did you get some studying done? You don't look so tired now." She squinted her eyes and studied my face. "You look…I don't know...relaxed? What have you been doing?"

"Oh…I was tired, but I made myself study for awhile and then I kind of took a nap. Well…I just dozed, actually…but it made me relaxed and now I'm going to get ready to actually go to bed. How was your study group?"

I could have slapped myself for asking that question right before I was going to go to the bathroom. Rose talked for five solid minutes about who and what and where before I could politely get a word in and say I really needed to go to the bathroom.

"Oh, yeah…you were on your way. Well…that's it really. We got a lot done. Thank goodness. It _so _wouldn't have been worth it otherwise. Sometimes they can just talk and talk…on and on…"

I interrupted her with, "Really? I can't imagine." And then I grabbed my stuff and made it out the door. Right before it closed, I heard,

"Oh…ha ha ha. I get it. Very funny, Bella."

I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when Rosalie came into the bathroom with my phone up to her ear.

"Yeah…yeah I just walked you down. You're in the women's bathroom right now. I don't think anyone's in here but Bella, so it's all good. She's got a mouthful of toothpaste."

I spit it out in the sink and rinsed my mouth as she continued,

"She's spitting and rinsing now. _Real _attractive. Hold on. She's almost ready. Yeah…it was nice to talk to you too, Edward."

My eyes grew round and I grabbed the phone from her hand.

"Edward!" I hissed at her. "I thought you were talking to my mom or something!"

"Nope…your guy called. He wanted to talk to you. _Nice _voice." And she sauntered from the bathroom.

"Hey…" I said into the phone. "I didn't think you'd call back so soon so I left my phone in the room."

"Uh…it was pretty quick…my _shower_. I didn't want to wait too long to call back in case you needed to go to sleep. Do you feel like talking for awhile."

"Yes…of course. I want to talk to you."

We talked as I made my way to the floor lounge, empty at this hour, and curled up on the window seat. It was actually a pretty cozy place since one of last year's RA's had donated a bunch of her old pillows to it when she'd graduated. I propped some behind me and leaned into them as I drew my knees into my chest and got comfortable.

"So," I began, "your shower was pretty fast, huh?" I had a difficult time keeping the giggle from my voice.

"Yeah…I hadn't planned on a shower. I thought I could handle being _dirty _and then just going to bed. I was wrong. Fuck, Bella, I barely made it into the shower. I don't think we can do that again."

"Don't say that. It was amazing."

"Well…amazing or not, I'm going to have to think about whether or not I can handle it. I'll let you know. I just wish we could be alone together where we didn't have to worry about getting home on time or someone walking in on us. I'm not even sure how much chance we'll have for that this summer. I mean…we'll still be living at home. It's not going to be easy. And then…we'll be in the dorm and have roommates. Is this ever going to be easier?" He sounded frustrated.

"It might be. In the Fall." I probably shouldn't tell him…but I couldn't help it. I was too excited about the prospect of having my own place…well, at least my own room in a shared apartment…not to tell him.

"What are you talking about? How will it be easier in the Fall?"

"Welllll…Rosalie and I are waiting to hear about an apartment that might be available for our senior year…one we can actually afford…just the two of us. I'd have my own room. That's all I know right now. We're supposed to find out in a couple of days." And I proceeded to tell him the few details I knew.

"So…what do you think?"

I didn't have long to wait for his answer.

"I think I can't wait to be alone with you…in your place."

"Good…I'll let you know as soon as I hear something."

We talked awhile longer before we managed to say goodnight and I went back to my room. I opened the door slowly to see that the only light that was on was the low nightlight plugged into the outlet by my dresser. Rose had turned it on for me when she'd gone to bed. I could tell she was already asleep by her deep, even breathing.

I manipulated myself out of my bra without taking off my tee shirt and then sat on the edge of my bed to remove my sweats. I couldn't really sleep in them. I would be too hot. I usually slept in shorts…but I was still feeling sexy and I just didn't want anything on. I was hoping sleeping halfway naked might make for sexy dreams of Edward.

Slipping into bed and pulling the covers to my chin, I let my hands rest on my lower stomach as I thought back to the sweetness of Edward's voice in my ears and the sweetness of the feelings he coaxed from me. I sighed…and drifted into sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN Look! No cliffhanger! I always like a good cliffhanger...but I'm sure there's such a thing as overdoing. Don't want to do that to you who are kind enough to still be reading my story...even as a WIP (I really DO appreciate that as I know many readers just will NOT go there). Hope you enjoy. Drop me a little review if you can. I like having something to read too! As always, my thanks...**_


	24. Chapter 24

_CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR_

The insistent buzz finally made enough of a nuisance of itself to drag me from my sleep and make me open one bleary eye. I hadn't set my alarm. I didn't have a morning class. It was cancelled for today. Professor McDermott had cancelled it.

I turned over and looked toward where my roommate's alarm was having a meltdown.

"Rose." I said.

No response from the inanimate lump in the bed across the room. I could see her golden locks trailing across the pillow. I _knew _she was in there.

"ROSE!" I yelled. Still no response. What the fuck? Was she dead?

Taking one of the two pillows from under my head, I threw it with the deadly aim born of desperation and hit her smack on the head while shouting again,

"ROSALIE! WAKE UP!"

The combination of projectile and scream finally got a response!

"Bella! What the hell?" Rose turned her frowny face toward me as she slammed down on the snooze button of her alarm.

"I'm sorry, but you wouldn't wake up."

"What?" she looked at me blankly.

"You wouldn't wake up and your alarm has been buzzing for like an age."

"What did you say? Oh! Oh wait!" she reached for her ears and withdrew a brightly colored piece of foam from each. She laughed. "Oh my gosh! I forgot I put these in during the middle of the night. I thought I'd hear my alarm through them 'cause it's so loud. I guess I was wrong. Sorry, Bella." She stretched and yawned and threw back her blankets.

I stared at her.

"You put in earplugs in the middle of the night? Earplugs? Why on earth would you do that?"

I knew Rosalie _had _earplugs. She attended concerts…loud concerts…and she was actually one of those responsible college students who wanted to be able to hear when she was old. Go figure.

"You were snoring, Bella."

My mouth dropped open so fast, my jaw almost came unhinged.

"I do NOT snore!" I said vehemently. "I've never snored in my life!" Visions of me maybe snoring while sleeping with Edward came flooding into my brain and I was freaking out because I couldn't sleep with him if I snored! How fuckingly _unromantic _was that?

"Oh my God! Was I really snoring? Rose?"

She burst into giggles.

"Oh…you should see your face! Oh…that was good. I am SO good!" and she laughed again.

"You were teasing me? What the heck is that all about? Why were you teasing me about snoring?"

"Well," she got up from her bed and started gathering her shower things together, "telling you that you were snoring was funnier than telling you that you were _moaning_ and talking in your sleep. It woke me up. I was going to wake you…but you didn't seem to be having a nightmare and then you stopped…so I just got the earplugs and put them in…in case you started again. I needed my sleep, you know."

"How did you know I wasn't having a nightmare? Moaning is usually a sign that someone is having a nightmare. You should have woken me up."

"Yeah….well, the kind of moaning you were doing wasn't the nightmare kind of moaning. Trust me." She had a wicked grin on her face.

"What are you talking about, Rose? What 'kind' of moaning would that be?"

"Oh…you know…the kind where the moans are punctuated with a name. Like this…uunnhhhh…Edward…unnnhhhh…Edward…unnnhhh…."

She stopped when I threw another pillow at her head…one which she deftly deflected this time.

"I did NOT do that!"

She looked at me with a smirk on her face and then, very slowly she nodded her head while returning my stare.

"Oh fuck! I did? Really?" I felt a blaze of heat suffuse my face.

"I wouldn't lie to you about that, Bella. And, though you seem not to remember it right now, I'm thinking it was anything _but_ a nightmare. Seems like it was a pretty damn _great _dream to me. Too bad you don't remember it. Maybe it'll come back to you."

I sat there dumbstruck…trying frantically to gather the shreds of whatever dreams I'd had last night. Nothing.

"So," my nosy roommate continued, "are these "fantasy" dreams…or "reality" dreams…'cause if they're reality dreams, sounds like you and Edward are _very _compatible."

Without waiting for an answer, which in my current state I wasn't in any condition to provide anyway, Rosalie left the room.

I let the upper half of my body go loose and fall back flat onto the mattress, then stared at the ceiling and tried again to capture any memory of _any_ dream I might have had last night. Still nothing. I hated when that happened. It was especially annoying since it had apparently been a _very _"pleasant" dream. Oh well.

Remembering that my sweats were puddled on the floor beside my bed, I reached over and grabbed them…slipping them under the blankets and up onto my bare lower half. I didn't need Rosalie to find out I'd been sleeping bottomless. I'd never hear the end of it. Once again safely covered in cotton, I climbed out of bed long enough to retrieve my pillows from Rosalie's side of the room. When I crawled back in, pillows in place, I turned over and tried to go back to sleep.

It wasn't happening. I lay there…daydreaming…until I heard Rosalie's key in the lock and she peeked in before entering. She saw my open eyes.

"Oh…I thought you might have fallen back asleep. I was going to be quiet." Instead, now that she saw me awake, she charged in and let the door slam itself shut behind her.

"I tried. It wasn't working."

"So…I'm going to dry my hair and then go grab breakfast. You want to come? I have to hurry though. I don't think you'd have time for a shower first."

"Rose. I'm not going to get dressed and go to breakfast without a shower. Ewwww…gross!"

"People do it, you know."

"Yeah…and you can always _tell _the ones who've done it and it's always guys and who sits at the tables with them…who, Rose?"

She grinned. "Uh…nobody."

"Right. Nobody…and for a very good reason. So…no, I'm not going to breakfast with you without a shower. Thanks for asking, though. I'll be fine until later. I've got a free morning, remember? I can take my time today."

The feeling of having a free morning during school was definitely something to savor. I scrunched my pillows under my head and reached to the shelf behind me for my phone. Rosalie's blow dryer provided background noise (how was she planning to be quiet if she had to use her blow dryer?) as I clicked my phone awake and saw the text notification. A smile rose to my lips.

_Hey, beautiful. Just me saying I love you. Talk soon. E_

A ten word message…a 'perfect' ten word message, I amended my thought.

I checked the time…knowing without looking that he would already be in class. It was almost 9 AM. High school (_ugh…I hated thinking about him still being in high school) _started early…every day. I couldn't call him. Instead, I texted back.

_Hey yourself. This is me saying the same. I love you. B_

My phone almost instantly let me know I had a new text.

_Miss you. _

I was confused.

_Aren't you in class? _

_Passing period. Going to next class. Good timing._

I pictured him hurrying to his next class through a crowded hallway, a hallway I used to hurry through. It was nice being able to actually picture him in an environment I was familiar with. I thought for a moment and then typed in…

_What are you wearing?_

No response for a minute. Then…

_Ouch!_

_Ouch? _

_I ran into a wall. _

A loud giggle escaped me and Rose, whose dryer was taking a break as she fiddled with a curl, looked over her shoulder long enough to smile and shake her head at me.

_Sorry._

_I'll live. I'm here. Gotta go. Love you still. E_

_Love you the same. B_

I lay there clutching my phone to my chest, a very large smile plastered across my face.

Rosalie, finished with her hair, was getting dressed as I lay blissed out in my bed. She grabbed her backpack and jacket and headed toward the door, where she stopped and looked over at me.

"Wow…you're positively glowing, Bella. I've never seen you like this." I just looked at her, my goofy smile still in place. "I think this guy's good for you. It's nice." Rose smiled too. "See you later."

The door closed and I sank into the quiet of my room. It wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep, thoughts of Edward right on the tip of my mind.

After my morning nap, a shower and a quick stop in the dining hall for lunch, I made it to my afternoon class with a few minutes to spare. I found a seat in the lecture hall and prepared to spend the next hour intently studying perfect examples of the nude male form.

Italian Renaissance Art was one of my favorite classes, and I decided, as we were studying and discussing Michelangelo's statue of David, that this was the body after which Edward's was modeled. He was there in the long, lean muscular arms and legs, the perfectly formed chest, the pelvic "V". Edward was a little hairier than David, but that only added to his maleness for me. It definitely wasn't a detriment.

I found my mind wandering to that first time I'd seen Edward wearing nothing but a towel and wet skin. The picture was as clear to me now as if it had happened only days ago.

Of course, that might be because the _other _instance of seeing Edward in the vicinity of a towel and wearing wet skin _had _just happened days ago. I thought of his beautiful body draped over mine in the shower and then wrapped around me as we lay in my bed. I squirmed a bit in my seat. This was definitely not what I needed to be thinking about during class.

By sheer force of will, I returned my concentration to the slide show happening at the front of the class, and on the narration of my professor. It took effort to stay focused and I was very glad when class was over.

Two more classes passed in quick succession before I made my way back to the dorm, expecting to see Rosalie in our room. It was empty when I got there.

I "hit the books", taking advantage of having no distractions, and it was almost six o'clock when I stopped studying. I was completely caught up and finished for the night…_before _dinner.

I was a little surprised that Rosalie hadn't made an appearance so I tried calling her cell. It went to voice mail. That was curious. It was a rare instance that Rosalie didn't answer her phone almost before the tone could finish the first few notes.

Realizing I was on my own for dinner, I grabbed a book and headed for the dining hall. It proved an unnecessary companion, as Emmett called me over to where he was sitting as soon as he saw me enter with my tray. We spent the next hour talking with each other and some of the other floor mates who wandered to our table.

Rosalie was still a no-show.

Emmett walked me back to the dorm, all the while keeping a running commentary going of how much he still needed to study, how many new conquests he'd made recently, what his plans were for the summer…The guy never ran out of conversation. I said goodnight at the elevator.

When I pushed open the door to my room, I was greeted by darkness. No Rosalie. I flicked on a lamp and sat on my bed, looking around the room. It had been home to Rosalie and me for the last three years. I had expected it to be our home for one more. The thought of maybe having an apartment…with space…and privacy…was still difficult to wrap my head around. No matter…it wasn't a done deal anyway. I needed to remember that.

So…Rosalie was missing in action and Edward had said _he'd _call. Sometimes I hated waiting for him to call, but it was less complicated that way.

Not knowing who would "turn up" first, I put one of my favorite CD's on to play, pulled a book of poetry from the shelf, lay down on my bed and began reading…and I waited.


	25. Chapter 25

__**A/N This is just a little something...an appetizer, if you will...to tide you over while I am on vacation until the end of the month (and most likely unable to update until then). Wanted to give you a little something. I WILL have time to write while I'm away. So that's a good thing! See you in a couple of weeks. :) Thanks for reading!**__

* * *

><p><em>CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE<em>

I didn't have long to wait for Rosalie's exuberant return to our room. I'd probably only been reading and listening to music for fifteen or twenty minutes when she came literally _bouncing _in, the back of the door almost hitting her built in-dresser, she threw it open so quickly.

She pushed my feet aside, pounced on my bed and shrieked excitedly at me,

"We got it! We got it! We. Got. It." Her smile was infectious…especially as soon as I. Got. It.

"Oh…my…God!" I know my face was an almost exact reflection of hers. "You mean…we got it? Really?"

Her head nodded on her neck so quickly I was afraid she might be giving herself whiplash.

"Rose…you'll give yourself whiplash." I took her head in my hands to stop its dangerous movement. "Stop!"

"I'm just so excited! Aren't you excited? We got the apartment!" She pulled her head from my grasp and leaped from my bed…standing beside it, but hardly still. She was a bundle of energy.

"I _am _excited. I mean…oh my God! Tell me what happened? How did we find out already? And…where the hell have you been and why didn't you answer your phone? I called. I was getting worried about you!"

"I was with my parents and Mr. Henley…John…at the apartment. My parents picked me up while you were in class this afternoon. Otherwise we'd have taken you with us. I should have left you a message so you wouldn't worry. That was thoughtless of me. I'm sorry, Bella. I was just so freakin' excited and it all happened so quickly. I didn't even know my parents were coming to the city until they called to tell me they were just a few minutes away and then John took my parents and me to dinner after to talk out the details and it was all just so…quick!"

"Okay…I'll forgive you this time. Now, tell me…how did we find out already? I thought it was going to be a few days. What happened?"

Rose settled herself back at the foot of my bed, her face as animated as I'd ever seen it.

"Well…it's really as simple as John finding out sooner than he expected that he _is _going to be sent on a new assignment for a year and him wanting to make sure you and I were going to work out because if we weren't he'd need some time to make other arrangements so he called my parents, who happened to be free, and they decided to come get me and take me to see it and talk to John about it and…oh, Bella…it's perfect!"

"Tell me!" I grabbed her hands in an effort to calm her down a little…and she told me.

I listened as Rosalie related all the details, and I had to admit, everything did sound perfect. She had just gotten to her desk and was opening a new document on her laptop so we could make a list of all the things we needed to do and buy and plan when my cell signaled a text.

_Can you talk? E_

"Rose…can you start on the list without me? It's Edward. He wants to talk."

"Sure. You can fill in if I forget something." And she began rapidly tapping the keyboard, her attention completely focused on the task.

I answered him.

_Yes. Call me. B_

I answered almost before the ringtone could play the first few notes.


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N I have to ****apologize for the delay in getting this update to you. I truly thought I'd have time to write while on vacation. I was so wrong! Took me a week to recuperate from a wonderful holiday. You should never have to wait so long between updates again. Thanks for hanging in there with me. It's much appreciated. :)**  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX<em>

"Hey," I spoke first.

"Hi. Glad I caught you with some free time. Everything finished for the day?"

"Yeah. I was lucky to get to it with no distractions this afternoon. I was actually finished before dinner. How about you? How is everything going with school?"

"It's fine. I'm the talk of the school though…just like I said I would be."

"What do you mean? The talk of the school?"

"Well…not just me. You're the talk of the school too. Bella…don't you remember me saying everyone, thanks to Jacob, would know about you right away...would know about me being at the movies with a mysterious and beautiful girl? I was right. People are wondering who you are. A few of my classmates are remembering this very pretty, very quiet senior named ISAbella…from when we were freshmen. I think they'll have it figured out pretty soon that it _is _you. I imagine more than a few old yearbooks will have been taken out and your senior picture, which is really beautiful by the way, will have been stared at."

I was silent.

"Hello? Bella, are you there?"

It took me a moment, but I answered.

"I'm here. I just…well…it's weird to think everyone is talking about me…about us. I've never been one for the spotlight, Edward. I'm a little uncomfortable about it, I guess. What have you said to them?"

"Nothing. I overheard some comments today but no one has actually approached me yet. That'll probably happen tomorrow…after all the yearbook checking. By the way…speaking of yearbooks…do you have any more copies of your senior picture? I'd love to have one if you do. You sitting on the rocks at the edge of the ocean, the sun on your face, a smile on your lips…well…you're beautiful _all_ the time, but that picture is amazing. I can't believe I never looked it up before now."

I couldn't help but smile. He always said the most perfect things.

"I have a print I can give you. Wallet size. You can carry me around in your back pocket."

"That will be great. And listen, don't worry about my friends at school. It'll be fine. Heck, it's almost all over here anyway. We'll all be leaving and heading out before you know it." He paused before saying, "You don't know how happy it makes me to think about that...about how in a few short months I'll be there…with you."

"It's going to be so much nicer not having to be in the dorm when you do get here." I said. His response was quick.

"You got the apartment? You _got _the apartment! When did you find out?"

"Rosalie found out today…sooner than we expected. She just told me when she got back from seeing it with her parents. I was in class when they came and picked her up to go check it out. I haven't seen it yet, of course, but it sounds perfect. It's not far from school…just a few blocks away, actually…and it's on the second floor…and it's got two bedrooms and two baths. I can't believe I'll actually have my own bathroom. That's a first. I probably won't get to see it much before we move in. John won't be leaving for his overseas job until the beginning of August. I can't wait."

"So…what do your parents think about you having an apartment for your last year?"

"You know…I haven't actually mentioned this to them. Nothing was a sure thing so I thought I'd wait until it was. Now I can call and let them know all about it. Financially, they'll be happy. I doubt it'll be any more expensive than room and board here in the dorm…and it might actually save some money. With what I make this summer, I'm sure it'll be fine. I might need a part time job to help out, but that's okay too. It'll be great!"

We talked for awhile longer…about the apartment and us and being together soon…and then said our goodnights. It was always hard ending our phone calls. No matter how often Edward and I talked, it was never enough. I always missed him as soon as we ended the call. I couldn't believe how in love with him I was. It scared me sometimes. It seemed like it might be "tempting the fates" to be so happy.

As soon as Rosalie heard me end my call, she swiveled in her chair and said…

"Okay, here's what I have so far." She began reading me her extensive list of things "To Do" and "To Buy". We poured over it, tweaking and rearranging for quite awhile. It was late when we both realized we'd been yawning for some time and our eyes were bleary. I was the one who called it quits first.

"I am completely done for tonight, Rose. I've got to try to get some sleep."

"I know…me too. It's just so exciting though. We're really going to be doing this…for our last year in college. I feel so…grown up." She grinned at me.

"Hard to believe, isn't it? It's too late to call my parents tonight, but I'm excited to tell them. I'll call them after class tomorrow. They're going to be so surprised."

As I got ready for bed, I thought about what I was going to say to my parents…and how I was going to say it. By the time I was ready to fall asleep, I was thinking of Edward…in my apartment…in my room…in my bed.

* * *

><p>My mother's voice on the other end of the phone sounded anything but happy.<p>

"I don't know about this, Isabella. I really don't. We'll have to discuss this with your father."

I had thought there might be a little hesitation from her about the apartment, but this sounded too much like real disapproval. Surely I was reading that wrong. I mean…what was there to disapprove _of_?

I had called home after my last class the next afternoon. My dad wasn't home from work yet, but I could hardly contain the excitement in my voice as I filled my mother in on the news of the apartment. Now, I was puzzled by her response…and wishing I'd waited until later so I could have spoken to my father instead. Surely he would be excited for me. My mother always worried and stressed about _everything._

"Mom? Is there a problem? I mean, I don't see what could possibly be wrong with Rosalie and me having an apartment for our last year. It'll probably even _save _money over what room and board are in the dorm." I proceeded to re-list all the benefits of having my own place next year. She still seemed less than impressed.

"We'll discuss it, Isabella. I'll talk to your father when he gets home, but I think it might be a good idea for the three of us to really sit down together and go over all the details in person. I know you weren't planning to come home again right away, but I think that might be a good idea…if you can figure a way to do it without it being a problem with your workload at school. See what your schedule is like and let us know when you can come home. I'll check Angela's competition schedule too…to make sure we'll be home. We'll get it all figured out, dear," and with that, she said she loved me and that she had to go. Angela needed to be picked up from her after school practice session.

I sat, staring at the phone in my hand, and wondering what was wrong with my mother. The conversation hadn't at all gone the way I'd imagined it would. I knew I might have been projecting my own excitement a bit when I thought she would also be excited about it, but to get a reaction that was pretty close to the other end of the spectrum had me feeling less than happy.

I needed to get home and get this straightened out. I went off to check my class assignments for the next few weeks of school. There was no way I could manage a trip home for at least a couple of weekends, but I thought the third weekend, right in the middle of the six weeks left, just might work. Until then, I was going to act as if everything was going to work out just as I wanted it to. I was going to think positively. That was all I could do at the moment.

Rosalie sensed that something was wrong as soon as she walked in the door after her last class of the afternoon.

"What happened? Did you call home?" she asked me, searching my face while she waited for my answer.

"Oh…I called home. I spoke with my mother."

"And…?"

"And…it was less than satisfying. She seemed pretty negative about the whole thing, Rose. I'm so bummed. I laid out all the benefits and everything. She didn't seem impressed."

"Well…did she say what part of it she was against…or why she has reservations about it? She can't have just said "no" with no explanation." Now Rosalie was sounding as distressed and confused as I felt.

"She didn't actually _say _"no". What she said was that she and my dad and I all needed to discuss this…in person. I'm supposed to go home as soon as I can. I really don't know what she's thinking. She didn't tell me. I've checked my schedule. I think I can manage a quick trip home in a couple of weeks. If I get everything done on that Friday night, I can go home Saturday morning and come back the next day. I'll make it work. I _am _going to share this apartment with you, Rose, no matter what."

"Can you? What if they say you can't? Oh Bella, that would be so awful. I don't want any other roommate but you!"

"Let's not get worked up just yet. I'm going to think positively about this. I'm sure it'll be okay. My mom will explain her reservations and I'll ease her mind about them and it'll be fine. It will. I'm sure of it."

I didn't know if I was trying to convince Rose or myself. Either way…it wasn't really working…but what else could I do. I had to wait until I got home to see what was going on.

"Well," Rosalie said, "there _is _one good thing to come out of this glitch anyway." She paused for a second and then smiled at me. "If you're going home, you'll get to see… Edward." She said his name in a sing song-y voice.

I smiled back at her.

"Actually, Rose, that thought _had _crossed my mind."


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N ****So sorry for the long delay in updating. Vacation really threw me off my "rhythm". Have been suffering a case of writer's block as a result. This chapter IS longer than most recent ones and just a bit "citrus-y". I hope that helps make up for the wait. :) As always, thanks for reading, recommending...and reviewing. It means a lot to me!**  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Twenty-seven<em>

The next two weeks passed in a blur. I was so busy with classes and projects that the time really did go by much quicker than I had expected it to. It helped that Edward and I texted when we could during the day and spoke on the phone every night. With our conversations to look forward to, each day was…tolerable. I was up and ready early the Saturday morning that I finally got to go home.

I caught the earliest available bus and settled in…this time wishing I went to school minutes away from home instead of hours. I was too keyed up and nervous about my upcoming talk with my parents to read so I spent most of the time staring at the swiftly passing landscape and framing my argument in favor of apartment living for my senior year. I had to convince them this was the right thing.

We hadn't talked about it over the phone since my initial conversation with my mother. I'd only spoken to her once in the last two weeks and she'd just said she and my father wanted to save that subject for "face to face". By the time I got home, I would be _so _ready to state my case.

I was wishing that I could have talked to or texted Edward on the trip home, but he was spending the early part of the day working on a project for one of his classes. It would have been nice to have his last minute encouragement.

Still, I had spent so much time thinking about the apartment and what my parent's objections could possibly be that I knew I was as prepared as I was ever going to be with responses to any objections they might raise. And, while I was hoping it wasn't a card I would have to play, I wasn't above saying "I'm going to be twenty-one soon and I really _can _do this…with or without your approval"…but I really hoped it wouldn't reach that point. For the most part, I'd always had a really great relationship with my parents, and I didn't want to think about having to go _there_.

The bus finally pulled into the station and I grabbed my small overnight bag…the only thing I'd needed for the one night I would be home. I didn't know which of my parents would be picking me up, but I was prepared for whichever one it might be.

What I wasn't prepared for was seeing both of them waiting for me at the door to the station. Wow…they were really serious about this "talk". My plan was to keep things from getting too heavy…to present the whole apartment thing as just another step into adulthood…nothing scary, just a normal transition from young college student to almost graduate…almost graduate with a place of her own.

My dad pushed the heavy glass door open and held it for me. He smiled and said, "Hey, Bells. Good to see you. We're parked out front. Here, give me your bag."

I thanked him and kissed his cheek as I handed it over. My mom put one arm around me and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"You look good, Isabella. Classes going well and you're getting enough sleep? Eating right?"

Mom…always the worrier.

"Yes, Mom…to all three things. See…that's why I look good!" I smiled at her and was rewarded with the same. "So…to what do I owe the honor of having both of you meet me? That's kind of unusual."

"We're going for an early lunch," my mother said, "just the three of us."

I was freaking out inside now. This was _very _unusual.

"Where's the Shrimp?" I asked.

My mother raised her eyebrows at the same time that she frowned. How did she _do _that?

"She told me it was okay, Mom…just not in front of anyone outside the family." I was going to call my baby sister by my pet name as long I could. It was special to me.

"Your sister spent the night with Alice. She's still at the Cullen's. She'll be home later. Your father and I wanted to spend some time with just you. We haven't gotten to do that in a long time now."

We'd reached the car.

"We'll be at the restaurant in a few minutes. Why don't you tell us how things are going and what you've been up to at school?" My mother had a knack for steering conversations. Since she had specifically suggested what I was to talk about, I knew now was not the time to bring up the apartment. We'd get to that when she was ready…or when I got the courage to bring it up myself if she took too long to get there.

We were seated in the restaurant my mother had chosen and had placed our orders for lunch…and I was completely out of small talk about classes and projects and tests and classmates. It was time. I was going to talk apartment. I gathered my courage but before I had a chance to open my mouth, my mother spoke. I swear she must have seen the determined look on my face so she took the plunge first.

"Now, Isabella…about this apartment issue. Why don't you tell your father everything you told me over the phone before…in case I left out anything?"

I looked from her to my father and launched into all the details I knew about the apartment and how Rosalie and I had been selected as its tenants for the coming year and why that would be a smart decision all the way around.

Neither of my parents spoke during my monologue.

I finished with, "I know you have reservations about this, but I'm just not really sure why. It's something I really want to do and I don't see any downside to it. So…now it's your turn…or turns." I looked from one to the other of them again, though I was sure it would be my mother who spoke first.

I was surprised when it turned out to be my dad who cleared his throat and began talking. I was more than surprised at what he said.

"Bella, your mother filled me in on this after your first phone call. She wanted to wait until you got home to talk to both of us before she and I discussed it, but she told me how excited you were and how set you seemed to be on doing this, so we didn't wait. We talked…and then a few days ago, we called Rosalie's folks."

"You…what? You called Rose's parents? Why?" I was staring at my dad.

"Well…we just wanted to see what they thought about all this. You had told your mom that the man who lives there now is friends with Rosalie's mom and dad and this involves their daughter too so we just thought maybe we could see how they felt about it. We didn't do it to go behind your back or anything. We just wanted a different perspective…from other parents."

I was prepared to be upset…or angry…or both…just as soon as the shock wore off.

"And…" I looked from my dad to my mother and back again…clenching my fists in my lap from the tension I was feeling.

"Rosalie's parents were very enthusiastic…and one of the reasons for that is because you are their daughter's roommate. They said they wouldn't feel quite as alright with this whole arrangement if Rosalie had to get a new roommate…someone they didn't know like they know you. They're very impressed with you."

"And…" I said again. This time it was my mother who spoke.

"Well…while we still have a few worries…mostly that you manage to keep up with your grades while you're also trying to keep up an apartment…we've decided that you've never given us any reason to think you wouldn't be just as responsible about this new step in your life as you have been with everything else you've done. We're very proud of you, Bella. It's just a little difficult for parents to realize their children are turning into adults."

My mom reached toward me across the table. My hand relaxed, I lifted it from my lap and took her hand.

"I think this is even more difficult for me than for your father. I'm not sure why. I thought he would have a harder time with his "little girl" moving into this next step than I would. But then, you know me. I worry about everything more than anyone else does." She smiled and squeezed my hand.

So…she actually recognized that about herself. I'd never been sure.

"So…you're okay with it? I don't have to lay out all the arguments I've been stockpiling for the last two weeks. I don't have to beg and plead?"

"No begging and pleading necessary." My dad said. "You just have to promise us that you will keep up your grades. You've done so well your first three years, it would be a shame to mess up now."

"I will keep them up. I promise. I…" my head was spinning. Talk about not seeing something coming. I was still in shock over this unexpected turn of events. "I…think I'm still in shock."

"Well…let's eat while you recover." My dad grinned and pulled his plate, delivered just a couple of minutes before, closer to him. He looked at my mom. "I told you she'd never expect us to be so easy." He looked very satisfied with himself.

"Yes, dear…you told me." Mom grinned back at him then shifted her gaze to me. "Now…tell me what you and Rosalie have been doing to plan for this big move."

Between bites of a sandwich whose flavor made absolutely no impression on me, I began eagerly telling my parents about the lists Rose and I had been busy making and adjusting to prepare for becoming apartment dwellers. By the time I had finished talking, we'd also finished eating and were ready to leave.

Now that the apartment situation had been settled, without a single shot having to be fired by me, there was only one thing on my mind.

Edward.

When and how was I going to be able to see him while I was home? I was determined that I _was _going to see him sometime in the next twenty-four hours…but I still hadn't figured out the logistics of how I was going to make that happen.

I kept up small talk with my parents on the ride home…all the while thinking about Edward and that he was minutes away instead of hours. It was torture. It was one thing thinking I wouldn't be able to see him for six weeks and accepting that and dealing with it because we weren't in the same place. But now…we _were _in the same place and I was dying to see him and I wasn't dealing with it so well anymore.

We were almost home when my mother's cell phone chirped at her. She answered…and immediately began listening without saying much. The only thing I managed to grasp was that it was my sister who was on the other end of the "conversation"…my sister who was at Edward's house.

I had to listen to my mother's "uh huh"s and "alright"s and "yes, dear"s without being able to say 'What? What is she saying? Is he there? Can we go? Can we go now?'

I _needed _to see him. It seriously felt like a physical need.

My mother ended the call and I found myself holding my breath while she told my father, "That was Angela. She asked if she could stay with Alice awhile longer. They're putting in a movie. They'll bring her home in a few of hours."

We turned into our driveway just as my mother turned to me and asked, "What are you going to do with your afternoon, dear?"

No mention had been made of who would bring Angela home. I didn't even know if Edward was there yet. I had no plans for my afternoon, and I was miserable because of it.

"Nothing, I guess. I thought I'd be arguing my case to you and Dad all day. I hadn't planned anything else. Maybe I'll just have a nap."

Didn't _that _sound like fun?

"Maybe a nice relaxing afternoon is just what you need. It's so much quieter here at home than in the dorm, I'm sure. A nap sounds like a wonderful idea. Your father and I have some yard work to do." She looked pointedly at my Dad.

No…it did not. A nap sounded like a horrible idea but, until Edward called, I couldn't really think of any other option. I grabbed my bag from beside me and headed into the house and into my room. What an anticlimactic afternoon this had turned out to be.

I dropped my bag onto the chair, pulled a book from inside it and plopped myself down onto my bed…thinking 'Please, please…let Edward call soon so we can figure something out.'

* * *

><p>I was in my mom's car and on my way to the mall. Edward was going to meet me there.<p>

It hadn't been a problem telling my parents I wanted to go to the mall. I didn't _love_ shopping like many girls my age did, but I did do it from time to time…and my mother knew I preferred shopping alone. It all sounded completely reasonable.

It was near sunset and Edward was already there when I pulled into a space near the bagel shop where we had said we'd meet. He was standing outside the car, leaning casually against it with his hands hooked into his front pockets and looking every bit as amazing as I knew he would. I didn't think I would ever get tired of seeing him in _those _jeans…the ones that had the torn knee and hung so delectably from his hips. He was wearing a blue button down shirt, the sleeves rolled part way up his forearms, just the way I loved them. The last rays of the sun caught on the hairs there and made them golden.

He was at my door and had it open before I could touch the handle. Reaching a hand inside, he helped me out of the car. I was barely standing when his arms went around me and he leaned in for a kiss. It was sweet and gentle, his lips pressing mine for only a few seconds before he lifted his head and smiled at me.

"You look too good to be real." He said.

"Thanks. So do you. But…that kiss was way too…short."

His hands were slowly running up and down my back but he had pulled away just slightly.

"I know…but I don't want an audience when I'm kissing my girlfriend. So…let's get out of here."

He was right. There were people everywhere, walking to and from their cars and going into and out of the doors to the mall. If we stayed where we were, we would definitely be "on display".

"Let me get my things." I extricated myself from his arms and reached back into the car, grabbing my small purse and pulling the keys from the ignition. He closed the door as soon as I was out of the way and I made sure it was locked.

His car purred to life and we headed out of the parking lot, navigating through the early evening traffic. Edward took one hand from the wheel and placed it on my thigh…right at the edge of my full short skirt. When the tip of his index finger slid from the fabric to my skin, I shivered. I was glad I hadn't worn my usual jeans. He glanced over at me and I saw the heat in his eyes. I was sure it was reflected in my own. I reached my hand over and placed it on his thigh…high on his thigh. I started to move it inward.

"Don't." he said. "Really."

My hand stilled.

"Really? And just where is _your _hand?" I looked down at my leg and back up to his face.

"_You're_ not driving. I don't think it would be a good idea for you to move your hand from where it is right now, Bella. I've missed you too much."

I kept my hand where it was…but let it squeeze his thigh…just a little.

"I've missed you too. A lot."

He kept his eyes on the road, but he smiled.

"Good."

I stared at his profile for a minute before turning to look out the windshield. I hadn't paid any attention to where we were. Where we were was on the highway that led out of town.

"Are we going to the beach? To your beach?" I felt a flush of excitement bloom at the memory of the one time we'd been there…of our first time.

"Not my beach."

"Not your beach?" The disappointment in my voice was clear.

"Not _my _beach. It's _our _beach now. Always will be. We're going to _our _beach."

I don't remember any of the rest of our conversation. My thoughts were already at our destination.

And then we were there…pulling off the highway and onto the almost hidden road. We gently bumped along it to the end and stopped.

Turning off the car, Edward leaned over the small gap between our seats, pulled me closer, and kissed me. At the same time that his tongue slipped between my lips, my hand slipped from his thigh to the front of his jeans. He was already noticeably aroused, his jeans pulled taut over the hardness of him.

I pulled away from the kiss just long enough to say, "Well…you _have _missed me."

"Yeah, just a little, Bella."

We kissed again. I left my hand where it was. His hips moved into every downward push of my palm. His breath grew harsher through the kiss, matching my own. When I felt his hand slip under my skirt and up my thigh, I moaned and shifted my legs slightly. His fingers reached my panties and teased up and down the center of me…where I was already damp and very warm.

He pulled back from the kiss this time.

"I'd say maybe you've missed me too."

I found my breath long enough to whisper, "Yeah…just a little."

There was just enough twilight left to see the look in his eyes.

"I want you, Bella. Now."

"I know. Me too…you."

He pulled away and opened his car door. I watched him walk around to my side where he opened my door, and then the back door, before he reached in to help me out.

"What?" I looked at the open door to the back seat.

"I told you I want you 'now'. Here."

Oh God…sex in the back seat of a car. The heat between my legs increased. I climbed in and scooted over as he climbed in beside me, closed the door and immediately reached for me.

His hands came around my back as he pulled me in for a kiss. They caressed up and down while they kept me pulled close.

My hands reached for the buttons on his jeans. I undid them quickly, and slipped my hand to the front of his boxer briefs. He groaned and lifted his hips.

I don't remember all the details of how he got out of his jeans and boxers, of how his shirt became unbuttoned…but I think I helped. I was too intent on feeling the almost electric shocks pulsing through me at every touch of his hands as they skated over my back and my thighs and my breasts, through my shirt and then under it. He pulled it up and over my head. It landed somewhere.

He reached behind me and I felt my bra loosen as the clasp came undone in his fingers. It went the way of my shirt.

All thought left my head as he bent his mouth to my breast and took my nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirled around it while he sucked. The sensation went instantly down my body…a direct connection from my nipple to between my legs. I felt his fingers grope under my skirt until they could get hold of the elastic of my bikini panties and he pulled. I squirmed until, with his help, they slid down my legs and off. I kicked off my shoes.

Hands on my waist, somehow managing not to lose his hold on my nipple, he lifted me until I could get my legs apart to straddle him, pushing my skirt out of the way. I was sitting on him, my knees on the seat. I felt the hardness and heat of him sliding against me. His erection was flat up against his belly and now it was my sex that mimicked what, before, my hand had done. The pressure and sensation of his skin against me there was indescribable. I was wet and making _him _wet with my movements.

His mouth broke contact with my nipple.

"Now", he said, and reached his hands between us, helping me lift myself a little, pushing his erection from his belly with one hand and opening me with the other. He held me open that way while he positioned himself beneath me…and when I felt the tip of him just _there, _I let myself sink onto him…taking him all the way into me. It was the most exquisite feeling in the world.

I buried my face into the side of his neck and heard myself groan with pleasure.

His hands were still under my skirt, and I felt them move around to cup the cheeks of my ass and just hold me onto him…not that I'd been planning to move…just yet. It felt too good just as it was. I clenched my muscles to squeeze him where he was buried deep inside me. He groaned in response.

"Bella…oh, God, Bella. I love you. I want this to last…but I don't think I can. I've missed you so much."

I lifted my head from his neck and leaned back to look at him. There was still enough light to see the shine in his eyes.

"It's alright. I don't care. It's perfect. Just…let _me_ do it."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the seat.

I slid my hands under his open shirt, bracing myself on his bare shoulders and began moving. The feelings were beyond description. His hips rose and fell, his movements a perfect counterpart to mine. The tension was building inside both of us.

I loved him so much. I wanted this. I wanted him to feel how much I loved making him feel good. I knew I was going to come soon and I didn't want him to have to hold back any longer.

I bent my head and managed to glide my tongue over and around his nipple. He made a harsh groan and his fingers tightened on my ass. One hand moved away and I felt his fingers slips between us and then they were at my sex, searching for the perfect spot to touch me…to send me over the edge.

His touch there was all it took…

* * *

><p>The intensity of my orgasm woke me and my eyes flew open as I looked around and saw the familiar walls of my room. I moaned and clenched my legs together as the waves of pleasure continued to pulse through me.<p>

Oh God, oh God…it was a dream. I'd fallen asleep thinking of Edward and my nap had spawned the sexiest dream I'd ever had. It was wonderful…but it was terrible. I didn't want it to be a dream. I wanted it to be real.

Now, more than ever…I knew I had to see him…and soon.


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. The story just wouldn't come. This one had to end where it does, but I've already got a good start on the next chapter so it should only be a couple of days until the next update. Thanks for continuing to hang in there with me. :) I SO appreciate you!**  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Twenty-eight<em>

I was pretty sure I was in need of fresh underwear. My body had been physically responding to my dream and I felt too moist and too warm. I also still felt the tingling sweetness of my orgasm, though…and I wasn't ready to move just yet. It was then that my phone "sang" to me. I grabbed it from the nightstand and punched the screen. It was him.

"Hi!"

"Hi…I'm finally home. I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait to see you."

"Same here…" I managed.

"You sound…a little out of breath. Are you okay?"

"Oh…I'm very okay. I just came."

Silence for a beat.

"You just…what? I must be misunderstanding what you said."

"Nope. You're not. You heard me right, I think."

"So…you mean…_came?_"

"Yep…came…as in…had an orgasm. It was awesome."

"So…you couldn't wait for me?"

There was a tinge of hurt in his voice. I loved playing with him though…and I wasn't finished yet.

"Oh…you were there. You came too. I'm pretty sure it was also awesome for you."

Silence again.

"What?"

"A dream, Edward. I just woke up from a dream. It was an amazing dream…because we were both there and _very _involved and…we both came…intensely."

"Oh...so you came in your _dream_."

"Not just in my dream. It was so intense it woke me…because I was coming in my sleep. There's a difference."

"Fuck…I need to see you." Now he sounded pained.

I smiled. Nice response.

"I need to see you too. I was thinking about you when I fell asleep…which, by the way, I only did because I had nothing else to do and it was torture waiting for you to call."

"Believe me…it's been the longest day for me too. It wasn't easy trying to keep my mind on the project. I think the others in my group did most of the work because I just couldn't stay focused. All I could think about was getting through it and being able to call you. So…I _am_ finally home. Are we going to be able to do something together?"

I sat up and scooted to the edge of my bed.

"Well…we _could_ take a hint from my dream…though I'm not really sure it'll work. Now that I think about it, that part of my dream wasn't very realistic."

"What was it? What do you mean?"

"I remember I met you at the mall. I told my mom I was going shopping…and I met you there and then we left together."

"And that wouldn't work because…?"

"I really _do _**hate** to shop. I deplore the mall."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you." He said…and he laughed.

"Yep…I'm an anomaly. I try to avoid the mall at all costs. My mother will be suspicious. Do _you _have any ideas?"

"Well…I do have one that will let me get to _see_ you at least. I just don't know where to go from there."

"Explain, please."

"I'm driving your sister home…soon. I just wanted to let you know. We have about fifteen or twenty minutes to come up with something other than me only getting to say hello to you."

"Fifteen or twenty minutes."

"I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you too. Soon then…" and I tapped 'end'.

How _were _we going to be able to be together? I had to think.

While I "freshened up" in the bathroom, including changing my underwear, I wracked my brain to come up with something feasible, some reason I needed to get out of the house on my one night home…and came up with nothing. I _still _had nothing when I heard a car pull up into the driveway. Leaving my room, I heard my parent's murmuring voices coming from the kitchen.

I yelled in their direction, "I think the Shrimp is home! I'll get the door for her!"

I pulled it open and stepped onto the front porch. Edward was holding the passenger door open for Angela. She climbed out and I heard him say, "I'll get your stuff and bring it in for you."

"Hey, thanks." She told him and came running up the steps. I got a big, though quick, hug before she whispered in my ear, "I've gotta go to the bathroom. Tell Edward thanks again for hauling my stuff." And she was hurrying across the living room and into the hallway.

Edward was moving up the walkway toward me, a pillow and sleeping bag tucked under one arm and gripping the handle of an overnight bag with his other hand.

He climbed the stairs and I pulled the door almost all the way closed behind me.

"Hey…" I said and smiled.

"Hey yourself…" he said…and then looked around furtively before bending to plant a hasty kiss on my lips. It was quick…but he pressed his mouth hard against mine and I felt a flare of excitement.

"We'd better go in." I put my arm behind me until I felt the door under my fingers. I pushed it so it opened wide.

Turning to step into the living room, I saw my parents coming from the kitchen.

Edward followed me into the room bearing all of Angela's paraphernalia. He stopped and stood there while my parents came up to us.

"Hi Edward," my dad greeted him first…echoed by my mother who also added, "Where's Angela? Why did she make you carry all her things?"

"She's…uh…in the bathroom, Mom. Edward volunteered to bring her things in." I answered for him.

"Where would you like me to put everything?" he asked.

My dad reached out for them.

"Here…give them to me. I'll take them to her room." He and Edward made the exchange and then my mother watched as my dad carted everything off toward Angela's room.

"Thank you for bringing her home, Edward. We appreciate it." Mom favored him with a smile.

"No problem, Mrs. Swan. I was happy to do it." Edward still stood near me…making no move to leave.

My mother looked a little perplexed…but her good manners immediately took over and she asked him, "Would you like something to drink before you go?"

He looked a bit uncomfortable…but he nodded and said, "Sure. That would be great. Thanks."

"Fine…Bella, why don't you take Edward into the kitchen and get him something. I'm going to check on Angela."

"Sure, Mom. Come on." I started walking toward the kitchen.

My dad came out of the hallway just then and followed us in. There were already two glasses on the counter. He picked one up that was half full and drained it.

"Well…I'm going to watch the early news, I think." He said…and he left the kitchen for the family room.

I opened the fridge and spent the next couple of minutes getting Edward and myself glasses of iced tea.

My mom came into the kitchen…but Angela wasn't with her. Mom's face wore a frown.

"Something wrong, Mom?"

"Oh…your sister and Alice overindulged in the snacks while they watched their movie this afternoon. Her stomach is a bit upset. She's laying down for awhile. I'm going to start dinner soon, Bella…but it's your one night home so you don't have to help this time."

"Oh…thanks, Mom. So, maybe Edward and I will get out of your way then…while we drink our tea. We'll be out on the porch."

"Fine, dear…that'll be fine." My mother was distracted. She didn't like when one of her "chicks" wasn't feeling well. I knew that, even though she was exasperated with the Shrimp for eating too much junk food, part of her was concerned said junk food might _not _be the cause for the upset stomach and so she was in full on "worry mode". Edward and I made our escape.

I sat down on the top step of the porch and Edward lowered himself down beside me…probably closer than he should have considering my family was right inside the house…but not as close as I wished he would be.

We talked…quietly…just in case.

"Well? Have you come up with anything? 'Cause I sure haven't." he frowned into his glass.

"No…nothing. I think this may be it…this may be all the time we have. I mean, my mom's cooking dinner and I _know _my parents expect me to be here for it…and, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure they expect me to stay home the whole evening…even if I did come up with a reason not to. I'm only home for the one night. I have to go back to school tomorrow morning."

"Bella, I'm thinking we ought to just come on out with the fact that we're together. Think about it…what are we going to do for the summer? We'll be in the same town…working at the same place...but if we don't tell them we're dating, we'll hardly be able to see each other at all outside of work. We can't even think of an excuse for tonight. How are we going to think of lots of excuses…for lots of nights?"

"We can't tell. Not yet. I think we just need to be patient. We can get through the summer and then we'll be together at school and we won't have to worry about it for awhile...maybe even until _next _summer." I smiled at him, but my heart wasn't in it…and he didn't smile back.

"I wish you didn't feel that way. I'm at the point where I honestly don't care. Besides, our parents really like each other…our kid sisters are best friends…I'm sure my parents like you and I know yours like me. Nothing bad is going to happen. Let's just _do_ this."

I was looking down into my glass…and I didn't answer.

"Bella…please."

"I just can't yet, Edward. Please try to understand. I wish I didn't feel this way, but right now I still do. I need you to be patient."

"You're…," he took a large breath and started over, "Bella…are you ashamed to be with me?"

I looked up and into his eyes.

"No! Absolutely not. I love you…I really do. I just…still feel weird about being older. Maybe it doesn't make sense…but it's how I feel. I haven't worked through it yet. I just need a little more time. That's all."

A dark cloud had descended over his face while I was trying to explain. It sat there now…his brows drawn together, his mouth a hard line. He pushed his glass at me at the same time he stood up. I reacted instinctively and grabbed it, some of the liquid sloshing over the edge and onto my hand.

"What...?" was all I managed to get out before he was moving down the steps. He stopped at the bottom and turned only part way toward me…not looking at me as he said,

"I'll give you time then, Bella. Call me when you think you're ready." I heard the anger in his voice. I hated hearing it…but there it was…and I had no one to blame but myself.


	29. Chapter 29

_**A**_**/_N: _ ****_Well, it's been four days instead of a couple. Sorry for the delay...but it IS a longer chapter! :) So...everyone is upset with Bella. Until you've walked in her shoes, please don't judge her too harshly. You never know what you'd do until it happens to you and everyone's experience is unique to them. Just hoping you give her the benefit of the doubt. She really DOES love him. Thanks, as always, for your comments. I may not be able to answer every one, but I DO appreciate them!_**

* * *

><p><em>CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE<br>_

I wanted to call him to come back…I actually opened my mouth to say his name. But what would I say? I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did…even to myself. It was a feeling, just a feeling…but a strong one…that telling the world about us was not the best idea right now.

There were times I'd regretted not following my "gut instinct" about things…and I wasn't going to do it now. This was too important to mess up…but is that exactly what I was in danger of doing? Was my "gut" wrong this time?

I said nothing as he got into his car and drove away.

My throat ached with the effort to control the tears that threatened. I had to go into the house…I couldn't go in crying, obviously. I had to sit for a few minutes of slow deep breathing and concentration…but I managed to get myself calmed down before going back inside.

My dad was still watching television, my mother was up to her elbows in dinner preparation and my sister was still missing in action.

I emptied the tea we hadn't drunk down the kitchen sink, rinsed the glasses and put them into the dishwasher…answering my mother's distracted "Edward left?" with what I hoped was a nonchalant "Uh huh" of my own. As I was turning to leave, desperate to reach the sanctuary of my room, my mother's voice said "Dinner in about half an hour." I kept walking, throwing an "Okay, Mom," over my shoulder.

I debated checking on the Shrimp…but I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. It was going to be difficult enough to make it through dinner and an evening with my parents and sister. I really wasn't in any shape to start it before I had to.

Once in my room, I collapsed rather than lay on my bed…tears leaking out from the corners of my eyes. I couldn't have a full on crying episode, but I also couldn't completely contain the liquid manifestation of the pain I felt. I had half an hour to pull myself together.

The memory of what Edward had said and how he'd looked as he said it was stuck in my mind. He was angry. He'd never really _been _angry with me before. And then I began wondering if the anger was at least partially masking hurt, and it hit me square in the face.

How would _**I **_feel if I was in his place…if _**he **_was the one who was refusing to acknowledge _**me**_? I mean, if he had a good reason, I would try to be understanding, wouldn't I? And wouldn't I try to be patient as well? Of course, I would. And…so would he.

So _**had **_he.

Granted, we hadn't been together a lot during the time I'd been asking him to remain silent about us, so it had been relatively easy to "hide", but it _had _been a few months now and he'd agreed and honored my wishes. I was the one who had a problem with our age difference. Edward really didn't.

'_Of course he doesn't have a problem with it'_, the evil, trouble making devil sitting on my shoulder said. '_He would probably be the 'big man' for dating an older woman. He'd make points with both his guy friends and with the girls his age. Surely they would think there must be something hot about a guy who attracted someone older and, they would probably assume, more experienced.'_

God…I hated that little "voice" inside my head!

And what would the people my age think? Well, it didn't say much for some of the people I knew, but I'd heard the terms they'd used for just such situations as the one in which I found myself; 'babysitter' and 'cradle robber' were the two that jumped immediately to mind. The thought of having those labels applied to me made me cringe.

So now…I had to ask myself if I was strong enough to tell all of them to go fuck themselves. Could I do it? I sighed…not yet sure of the answer.

I still hadn't taken the parent situation into account. I knew Edward's parents and mine were great friends…so maybe that _did _mean they would be all for us being together. I don't know why I wasn't sure that would be the case, but I really shouldn't automatically assume the opposite, right? Right. I should at least give our parents, people who knew and loved us both, the benefit of the doubt. Surely they would see that we were serious here…and that we were good for each other. Okay…don't worry about the parents.

And then, the words came to me…Emmett's words from when I had first confided in him and Rosalie. Emmett had said, "…he seemed like a nice guy and if you like him…like him. Fuck what anyone else thinks." And I knew he was right.

Edward _was _a nice guy…he was _more _than just a nice guy, he was a terrific guy…and I _**loved**_ him. I was completely sure of that. What could possibly be more important than that? The answer was…_nothing_.

I could do this. We could do this. Who cared, really, what anyone else thought? It would only be an 'interesting' topic of conversation amongst our peers for awhile anyway. I was sure something would quickly come along that would place the focus elsewhere. It always did.

Besides…Edward's birthday was just a few more weeks away. He would turn eighteen soon after I got home for the summer. Of course, we would always be almost three years apart, and I would turn twenty-one in September…but surely I would get used to that difference eventually. Eventually, it would be no big deal.

I'd heard the expression "...like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders". I didn't realize how true it really was until now…when I felt it myself. Decision made. I needed to talk to Edward.

I pushed myself up to a sitting position and looked around for my phone. It wasn't on the nightstand where I usually left it. Where the heck…? I twisted from the waist to look behind and around me on the bed. The corner of my phone was peeking out from under my smooshed, damp pillow. Just as I reached for it, I heard my dad's voice from the hallway…

"Bella…Angela…your mother has dinner on the table. Let's go."

I grabbed my phone…but there was no time to call Edward now. We would need to talk. It wouldn't be a fast conversation. It would have to wait. I groaned in frustration.

I opened my door at the same time as Angela's opened down the hall.

"Hey, Shrimp. You feeling better?"

"I think so, yeah…but I'm never eating buttered popcorn and red licorice and orange soda again…ever!"

"Oh…gross. That sounds disgusting."

"It seemed okay at the time…but the three of them didn't like being all together in my stomach. I'm going to tell mom I just want soup and crackers for dinner."

We walked into the dining room…set for four and already occupied by my parents.

"So..._this _is the dining room…" my sister looked around as if she'd never seen it before.

It was kind of a running joke that the only time the dining room ever got used anymore was when I was home for a meal. Other than that, meals were either eaten at the small kitchen table or on the run, since my sister was frequently at either gymnastics practices or meets.

My mother smiled in her direction.

"Are you feeling a little better then, sweetie?" My sister nodded. "Good…I do think you should just have something light though. I made you some soup." The bowl of chicken noodle was sitting, gently steaming, at Angela's place at the table. A few saltines were waiting on a small plate nearby. My mother was scary…or she was just a really good mom…or both.

During dinner, my parents shared with Angela the fact that I was going to be living in an apartment during my senior year. She looked at me with big, round eyes.

"Wow…" she said it slowly…as if she were in awe. "Just like a real grown-up. Creepy. Won't you be scared…living alone?"

"I won't be alone, silly. Rosalie and I will be sharing the apartment, just like we share a room now. I don't think I want to live alone just yet…plus, it would be way too expensive to live alone in the city. I couldn't afford it."

Angela was full of questions, Mom and Dad were full of advice, and I was full of anxiety wondering just when I would finally be able to call Edward. Dinner dragged on.

I was just beginning to feel that 'The Great Escape' from the dinner table to my room was within reach when my mother effectively reined me back in.

"So, girls, we're going to go see your grandmother as soon as we're finished here. She's been anxious to see you, Bella. I explained that your visits home have been quick ones lately and that you haven't really been avoiding her. Since you didn't mention any plans for tonight, I called her right before we sat down to dinner and told her we'd come by for a little while this evening."

I know my face fell…but I tried to hide it. I loved my grandmother…and I hadn't seen her in a quite awhile, though she lived only minutes away. There was no way to gracefully bow out of this one and I would feel too guilty if I tried. I reminded myself that Edward would be up much later than my grandmother, so I could definitely call him when I got home.

"Sure, Mom. Great!" She looked a bit skeptical at my enthusiasm.

It was only a few minutes later that we all pushed away from the table and made quick work of dinner clean up. My mother was not one for leaving dishes in the sink.

"We'll leave in about ten minutes, girls." Mom said. "Be ready."

I headed to my room to get a jacket…and to quickly call Edward. I tapped and waited. No answer. His voice mail message, "Hey, it's me. You know what to do", prompted me…but leaving a message wasn't what I needed. I fired off a quick text instead.

'_Need to talk. Where are you? Going out with my parents. I'll try again later. Love you…' _

And then it was off to my grandmother's house.

Our visit began with hugs all around and my grandmother saying to me "Let me look at you!"…as if I was 10 years old again and she couldn't believe how I had grown. She held onto my arms, this woman whose petite size gave no indication of the inner strength I knew she possessed, and turned me slightly…this way and that…as she peered into my face. She studied me for a minute and, before letting me go she said softly,

"I'd like to talk to you alone for a minute, sweetheart…before you all leave."

"Sure, Grandma. Okay." I was puzzled.

We sat in comfy chairs and filled my grandmother in on our latest news…mostly about school and activities, friends and plans for the summer. I realized how much I appreciated that I still _had _a grandmother…and that she was interested in everything about "her girls". I was glad we'd come.

A little more than an hour later we were saying our goodbyes and giving another round of hugs. My parents walked out the door first, followed by Angela. My grandmother took my arm and kept me beside her in the foyer.

"I want to talk to Bella for just a minute. You all go ahead to the car. I won't keep her long."

My mother just smiled and ushered my dad and sister along and down the steps. I turned to face my grandmother.

"What is it?" I smiled down at all five feet one inch of her.

"Well…I told your mother I had a little something for you…and I do." She reached into the pocket of her sweater and pulled out a check, quickly pressing it into my hand before I could look at the amount and protest. I knew it would be too much.

"Grandma…You don't need to give me money." I said. "I'm fine."

"Every young college woman can use a little extra money from time to time. Indulge me. Put it away."

I sighed and tucked it into my jeans pocket.

I reached over to hug her again.

"Thank you. That's very sweet. Maybe I'll buy something for the apartment with it." We had, of course, also talked during our visit about me becoming an apartment dweller in the Fall.

"Perfect!" she said. "That's exactly what I want you to do. Now…" she paused for a moment, "…who is he?"

"What? Who is who?" I frowned at her…confused.

"The young man."

"What…young man?" I swallowed. Here it came…the eerie side of my grandmother…the side that just seemed to _know _things…without having been told.

"The one who didn't call you back or…text you? Is that what it's called?"

My grandmother had a cell phone…one she'd been given by my mom for emergencies…but she pretty much refused to turn it on. I was surprised she even knew about text messages.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…you definitely have a different 'look' about you, Bella. You've changed since I saw you last. I noticed that right away. Plus…I don't think you realized it, sweetheart, but you checked your phone whenever you thought your mother wasn't looking. _I_ was looking. I think you have a young man."

So…maybe she wasn't just eerie. Maybe she was also very observant.

I felt the heat of my blush.

"Grandma…I'm…" I know I looked uncomfortable…and she stopped me before I had to say anything else.

"It's okay. I think you're not ready to spread the word yet. I understand. You probably have your reasons…and I won't pry…but, just tell me, is he good to you? Is he a nice boy?"

"Yes…" I smiled. I loved this woman _so _much. "…and yes. I'll tell you more when I can. Soon. You'll love him."

"I'm looking forward to meeting him then. Now, you'd better get out there. They're waiting for you and your mother is not the most patient woman in the world…don't I know it. She'll wonder why it took me so long to give you a check."

We hugged again and I promised I'd see her soon after I got home for the summer.

I headed down the walk and got into the back seat next to the Shrimp.

"What was that all about?" she asked. "We were waiting _forever._"

My mother answered for me.

"Grandma just had a little present for your sister. It's one of the perks of being in college."

"Oh…money." Angela lost interest and clicked on her iPod, the buds of which were already firmly planted in her ears.

The short ride home was a quiet one; my sister listened to her music, I stared out the window at the lights moving past, my parents murmured softly to each other in the front seats.

"Anyone want some ice cream?" my dad asked as soon as the door from the garage to the kitchen closed behind us.

"Not me. I'm going to go listen to music and read." Angela said.

"Bella?"

"No thanks, Dad. I've got some reading to do for school."

My dad liked company with his ice cream.

"I'll have a little with you," I heard my mom tell him as I left the kitchen. I made my escape to my room. Finally.

I closed the door behind me and reached for my bag…searching for my textbook. I really did have some reading I should do…but first, I had a phone call to make.

I tapped in Edward's number…and waited. Voice mail. My heart sank. Was he really busy or was he avoiding me? He hadn't said anything about having something to do tonight. Wouldn't he have kept his night open since we'd been hoping to do something together? I hit 'End' without leaving a message. Another text then.

'_I'm home. Are you busy? Are you alright? Can you call me, please?' _ I hit 'send' and waited, staring at the small phone in my hand as if that would make an answer appear. It didn't. My phone stayed silent, my message unanswered. I waited…two minutes…five…ten. Nothing.

He was pissed. He was not ready to forgive me. But, he'd told me to call when I was ready. I was calling. Shouldn't that let him know…or did he maybe think I was trying to get _him _to reconsider…to come back and let things stay how they'd been? Maybe that was it. I really had no idea. I just knew that my phone stayed silent.

Eventually, I laid back on my bed, pillows scrunched behind me, and opened my book. I realized some time later that I'd read the first paragraph, on the first page of the chapter, multiple times…and I still had no idea what it was about. It was pointless. I dropped the book beside me and stared up at the ceiling, thoughts swirling and chasing each other through my head.

Had I actually ruined the best thing to ever happen to me? Surely not. He was just angry. He loved me. I knew he did. He wouldn't leave just like that and _not _come back…would he?

I picked my phone up off the bed and looked at it again. Was it charged? Yes. Was it still silent? Yes again. I dropped it back onto the comforter, where it lay as if dead.

Depression settled over me like a thick cloud. I couldn't just lay here and continue staring at the ceiling. The ache of unshed tears squeezed my throat. A shower…I needed to get into the shower. Then, if the tears came, at least I could mask the aftermath a little better. There was always the "I got soap in my eyes" excuse.

I dragged myself from my bed, grabbed my usual shorts and a tank top and headed to the bathroom. It was only a minute before the water was hot and I was climbing in. I stared at the familiar tiles, at the drops coursing their way down to the shower floor and into the drain. My tears fell off my lashes and cheeks and joined them as they swirled away. I stood under the spray, hugging myself, trying to cry as quietly as I could.

I finally managed to pull myself together. I couldn't stay in the shower forever. I'd already taken longer than normal.

The mirror was steamed and I used my hand to try to clear away the fog enough for me to look at my face and check my eyes. Red…yes…but not too badly. At least they weren't swollen and puffy.

I dried and dressed and cautiously opened the bathroom door. The hallway was still dark and quiet. I slipped down it and into my room. My phone lay where I'd left it on my bed. I walked over and woke it up. Nothing. I'd missed no calls. There were no texts waiting to be read. I knew if I left my phone on, I'd keep obsessively checking it. That was, apparently, pointless. Turning it off, I tucked it into the drawer in my nightstand.

There was no use trying to read. I felt drained and sad. I pulled back the comforter and slipped between the cool, smooth sheets, twisting to turn off the bedside lamp. My room was plunged in darkness except for the light of the street lamp filtering through at the edge of the shade.

There was a quiet knock on my bedroom door. I wanted to ignore it, but I knew I hadn't been out of the shower and in my room long enough to have reasonably fallen asleep so I answered with a soft "come in".

My mother's voice entered my room, "You're in bed? Are you alright? I heard the shower just a bit ago."

"I'm fine, Mom. I'm just really tired and my bed here is so much nicer than the one at school. I just decided to call it a night. Really…I'm fine."

"You must be getting pretty worn out this close to the end of the semester."

"Mmm hmmm."

"Well…sleep well then. I'll see you in the morning. Are you taking the early bus back?"

"Probably. I'll just see how I feel when I wake up though. Is that okay?"

"That should be fine…We don't have any plans for tomorrow. Goodnight. Sleep tight."

"Thanks, Mom. 'Night."

The door snicked closed.

I stared at the ceiling in the dark. I stared for what seemed a very long time.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke suddenly. Why? I lay still…listening. The house was completely quiet. I turned and looked at the glowing numbers on my clock…1:30 AM.

Sitting up a little…I punched my pillow into submission so I could turn to sleep on my side. I had no sooner laid my head down than I heard a noise…a small scraping sound…outside my window. It came again.

I propped myself up on one elbow and looked at the window. At first, I didn't see anything…and then a shadow, the street light behind it, moved ever so slightly. Someone was at my window. I heard the scraping noise again.

I tossed the covers off and slipped from my bed, debating whether to check the window or run for my dad when I heard, very softly,

"Bella? Bella…wake up." And then the little scraping sound again.

There was only one person who would be calling my name, at my window, in the middle of the night.

I hurried over and pulled the shade to raise it. Through the window, I saw him, his face a pale oval in the darkness of the night.

I squeezed the release for the window and slid it silently to the side. Edward's hands grasped the sill and he pulled himself up and through and into my room.

"Hey! There's a screen. Where's the screen?" I whispered. He was inside now and I leaned out my window and looked down. There, in the flower bed beneath my window, was the screen. It was propped against the side of the house.

"You're breaking my house now?" I asked as I leaned back inside and turned to face him.

"Screens are easy to take off…and put back on. Don't worry. I'll fix it when I leave."

We still stood apart from each other, bathed only in the light coming in from the street now that the shade was out of the way.

"What…are you doing here?" I asked softly.

"What's wrong with your phone?" he countered.

"Nothing. I…It's turned off. That's all. Why?"

"Because when I finally got over being so angry…when I finally read your texts…I tried calling you back and texting you back…and nothing. I waited until it was late enough to sneak over. You said you needed to talk to me. So…here I am."

"Are you still angry?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On what it is you want to talk to me about."

"Do you…still love me?" I whispered…looking down at the floor as I asked it.

"What? Why would you even ask that? Of course I still love you. Being angry with you wouldn't change that. Being angry won't ever change that, Bella…ever."

"I'm so sorry." I finally looked up at him.

"Come here." He reached for me and I went gratefully into his arms and melted into the kiss that he placed on lips. We stood that way for awhile…his hands resting gently on my lower back, pressing me into him.

When I finally stepped back a little, he just looked at me for a moment before he said,

"What did you need to talk to me about?"

"About us…about that you're completely right to be upset about me wanting to hide us…about my putting myself in your place and seeing how awful it would make me feel if you basically denied _'us'_. I'm so sorry, Edward. I don't know how I can make it up to you…" my voice trailed away.

"You don't need to make it up to me…but does this mean you're okay with _not _hiding it anymore? Are you okay with whatever that means?"

"I want to be. I _am. _You're the most important thing in my life. I love you. The thought of not having you in my life terrifies me. Nothing matters as much as you do. That's the conclusion I've come to. So yes, I'm okay with whatever it means."

"I love you…really, honestly love you, you know." He pulled me into his embrace again and his breath ruffled my hair as he spoke over my head. "I want everyone to know it, Bella."

"I know, Edward. They will." And I hugged him tightly.


	30. Chapter 30

_CHAPTER THIRTY  
><em>

When I relaxed the hug a little, I looked up at him and said,

"Now what?"

"'Now what' like with _us _and letting people know about us…or 'now what' like _what_ _are we going to do right now…tonight_?"

"Ummm….I think I'd like to know what we're going to do right now…tonight. Are you sneaking back out at this very minute?"

"Do you want me to sneak back out at this very minute?"

Without waiting for my answer, he dipped his head to kiss my forehead and then the tip of my nose and then he bent a little more and nuzzled my neck and I felt the drag of the warm, wet tip of his tongue followed by a gentle suck on the sensitive skin there. I tingled _everywhere._

I didn't answer verbally…only moved to grab handfuls of his hair and keep him at my neck. The sucking grew stronger. That, combined with the slight friction of the stubble on his cheeks and jaw, was adding shivers to the tingles I was experiencing.

He mumbled against my neck, "I'm thinking maybe that's a 'no'?"

All I managed was a low, "Mmmmmm…." I was too busy enjoying the sensations running through my body to articulate anything else.

We stood like that for a few more minutes, the neck nibbling being supplemented with soft, deep, wet kisses that sent my stomach turning somersaults and made what was below my stomach ache with wanting him.

He broke away first. His hair was wild from my grabbing it. His eyes were a little wild too, from all the kissing and touching.

"Bella…this is not good."

"Why…why is this not good? I think this is _very _good!" and I tiptoed to put my mouth on his again, sucking on his lower lip and then running the tip of my tongue across it. He groaned.

"Because I want you. I want to be with you. I want to be _inside_ you. I'd really better go before this gets out of hand."

"Don't go yet. Please. We won't let it get out of hand. We can just _play _for a little while. Can't we?" I punctuated my question by sliding the fingers of one hand inside the waistband of his jeans…running them across his lower belly. The velvety tip of him moved against my fingers as I brushed them slowly back and forth across it. I felt the slick drop of moisture he'd released and used one fingertip to spread it around on him. His groan was louder than before.

"Shhhhhh! We have to be quiet. Angela is just down the hall."

It was only seconds later that I heard the telltale click of her bedroom door opening just the other side of the bathroom. Edward heard it too…and each of us held our breath and became as still as statues.

The door to the bathroom was left open at night…and I heard it snick closed as she went in. There was one thin wall between my little sister and me…me with my hand down my boyfriend's pants.

We barely breathed and we didn't move…but I felt Edward's erection retreat from my fingertips.

A minute more and we heard the flush of the toilet, the running of water in the sink and the door as it opened again. Another few seconds and we listened to the soft sound of Angela's bedroom door as it closed.

Both of us took a deeper breath than we'd allowed ourselves while we were standing petrified and then I pushed my hand further down into Edward's pants. He caught my wrist and pulled my hand up and out.

"Uh uh…no way, Bella." He hissed. "That scared the _fuck_ out of me…literally."

It was all I could do not to laugh out loud at that. I did let out a little giggle and he shushed me. In a tight whisper he said,

"It's not funny. What would have happened if your sister had had a nightmare and wanted to crawl into bed with you instead of having to pee? She'd have come in and seen us standing here and she probably would have been scared to death first of all and then…oh, fuck…that would have been a mess."

I whispered back,

"I know. I'm sorry. It's not funny. You're right...that would have been very bad. I don't think either of us want to break the news of our being together by you being caught in my room in the middle of the night. So now what?"

He still had my wrist in his grip and he pulled it so my arm went around his back before he released it.

"Now…we kiss and say goodnight. I have effectively been rendered incapable of anything else sexy tonight which, as much as I hate to say it, is probably a good thing."

If I hadn't been almost twenty-one, I swear I would have pouted. I had been very aroused myself…and still was. This was so not fair…not fair at all.

"It's completely not fair, you know." I allowed myself to say it.

He kissed my forehead again and then said,

"I know. It's not fair at all. But, while I do think our parents will be fine with us being together, I think they might be a little_ less_ enthusiastic if we were caught this way. I really shouldn't have come over…and I really do need to go."

I nodded in agreement.

"You're right." My sigh was huge. "So…okay. Can you put the screen on quietly? I'm sure my sister fell asleep again as soon as her head hit the pillow, but…just in case."

"Sure. No problem. Listen…call or text me when you can then, okay…either on the bus or when you get back to the dorm?"

"I will. This is gonna sound cheesy but…I miss you already." I squeezed him tightly.

"I like cheesy. Cheesy is cool. I miss you already too." And then I felt his arms release me and I let go of him and he was at the window. I followed him there.

He put one leg outside and one hand on the frame and then leaned back in for one last short, sweet kiss. Then, his other leg followed and his hands went to the sill and he lowered himself as far as he could before dropping the short distance that remained.

I leaned out the window until I saw him grab the screen and reach up to push it back into the tabs that held it in place. A few quiet 'snaps', and all was as it should be.

"Good night," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too. Be careful."

"I will. See you soon."

He turned and walked quietly on sneakered feet, down the driveway and out toward the street. I couldn't see all the way because of the angle but I waited with the window open listening for a car to start. It took a minute, and it was more muffled than I expected. He must have parked a couple of houses down from mine, or maybe even around the corner. Anyway…he was gone.

I closed the window, pulled the shade down over it and stepped back into my room…my very empty room. Ugh. I wanted him here…or me there. The summer couldn't get here soon enough…and then the _end _of summer so that Rosalie and I could move into the apartment. At least there was that to look forward to.

I made my way across my room and carefully opened my bedroom door. Silence. I needed a trip to the bathroom myself before I could go back to bed. A few minutes later I was back in my room and snuggled into my bed…my very empty bed. I wanted him here too.

What a change this was…from the me who, even though I had thought I was in love with Mike, had been an "I can take it or leave it" kind of girl to the me who wanted to make love with Edward, to be as close to him as I possibly could, as often as I could. It was an entirely different feeling…an entirely different me. I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that it was because this was so much more than anything I'd ever felt with Mike.

I fell asleep thinking about how wonderful it was to feel loved by Edward and to love him back in the same way and woke to sunlight creeping around the edges of my window shade and sounds of my sister in the bathroom again. Morning.

Stretching and moaning…I really was _not _a morning person…I threw back the covers and made my first attempt at dragging myself from my bed. The clock on the nightstand said 8:45. There was still time to catch the early bus back to school.

I managed to reach a completely vertical position a short time later and was waiting at the bathroom door when my sister came out, showered and dressed and…perky.

"Morning!" Angela chirped cheerily. She _was _a morning person…probably a result of her chosen love of gymnastics. On most weekdays, she was at practice at 6 AM. She managed almost two hours before she had to be at school. The kid was dedicated. Even as early as it was, it was still considered "sleeping in" for my sister if she got up at any time past 7 AM.

"Ugh…" my response. My eyelids still at half-mast, I took her place in the bathroom…turning on the shower before stripping off my pajamas and climbing in. I propped myself up with my hands against the wall in the shower as the hot spray needled into my skin. Oh…the memories something very close to this position brought to mind.

'_Can't go there.' _I told myself. _'Not a good idea.' _

Quickly, I forced myself to lather hair and body. No lingering this morning. I was towel wrapped and back in my room in ten minutes…and twenty minutes after that I was dressed and my hair was mostly dry. I made my bed (my mom would be happily surprised) and then gathered what I needed to take back to school and stuffed it all in my bag. I was ready to go.

I was sitting at the counter in the kitchen, having just finished the over-medium egg and piece of toast I'd fixed for myself when the front doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Angela yelled and pushed herself away from the small table and the Sunday morning comics section of the paper that had held her attention until then. She literally skipped from the room.

"Who would be here this early on a Sunday?" my dad frowned.

"I've no idea," my mom answered him. It wasn't common to get Sunday morning visitors.

Angela walked back in with a funny look on her face. She looked at me and then at my mom and dad.

"Uh…it's Edward at the door. For Bella."

"What?" I felt the heat of the color rising in my cheeks. Well…he wasn't wasting any time, was he? Okay then…

"Yeah. Edward. I invited him in, but he said he'd wait for you at the door."

My parents just looked puzzled.

"Okay. I'll be right back." I scooted off my perch at the counter and made my way out to the front of the house, thoughts swirling through my mind. I knew this was right…it was the right thing to do…but I was nervous.

There he stood, backed by sunlight, framed in the open doorway and looking perfect.

He greeted me with a smile and a simple, "Hey."

"Hi." I gulped. "What are you doing here?"

"Well…I'm hoping to take you to the bus station. Do you think that would be okay with your parents? Is it okay with _you?" _

"You're not wasting any time here, are you? When did you decide to do this?" I whispered.

"Nope. I'm jumping right in…before either of us can get cold feet…especially you. And, I just decided this morning...the idea was in my head when I woke up." He smiled to soften the fact that he was basically saying he lacked confidence in my agreement to let people in on the fact that we were together.

"What do I tell them? I hadn't thought about this happening _right now_. I thought maybe when I came home for the summer…" my voice trailed away.

"I'll tell them. Can I come in?"

"You'll tell them what?"

"That I want to take you to the bus station. They shouldn't mind that. They won't have to drive you."

I still stood in the doorway, indecision effectively rooting my feet to the floor.

"Well? Can I come in and ask them…or not?" the smile disappeared.

I took a deep breath…and nodded as I stepped back to make room for him.

"Yes. Of course."

'_Well, here we go.' _I thought to myself and closed the door after him. I led the way.

"They're just back here…in the kitchen."


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N: I realize it's been a long time since I've updated. I do apologize and hope you can all understand that the real life circumstances affecting R & K affected me in a way I hadn't anticipated. I know it affected many of you too. Unfortunately, each time I sat and tried to write, nothing would come. I just couldn't do it. It was that way for a long time. It's better now...but I still have some reservations about my writing. I don't have the same enthusiasm right now. This chapter isn't very good...but I guess I'm hoping it's a start to get me writing again. Please bear with me. I do appreciate that many of you have asked if/when I was going to continue with this. It's nice to know you're still interested. My sincere thanks for that! **__  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE<br>_

"Wait." His voice came from behind me and his fingers closed around my upper arm and exerted a gentle tug.

I stopped and turned to him. "What is it?"

"I'm just going to ask them if I can take you to the bus station. I'm not going to say anything about us right now, Bella. I thought about it…and there wouldn't be time to really talk to your parents before we need to leave so…quit freaking out, okay?"

"I'm not freaking out."

Inside…I could feel my heart settle back into place and resume its normal rhythm as it left my throat, where it had been keeping a staccato beat ever since Angela had announced him at my front door.

"Uh huh…right." He grinned at me before letting go of my arm and nodding once toward the back of the house. "We'd better get in there."

I entered the kitchen first. Hearing Edward's and my footsteps, all three of my family members looked up at once. I felt like a deer in the headlights…pinned in place as their gazes focused on us.

Edward spoke first.

"Morning. I hope it's okay that I'm here this early. I wanted to make sure I caught you before you left to take Bella to the station."

"Good morning, Edward." My mother said…followed by a grunted mumble that sounded like "Hey, kid" from my dad before he turned his attention back to the section of the Sunday paper he was reading. Angela had resumed poring over the comics. "Hi again," she said without looking up.

"You have pretty good timing." My mother offered. "We need to get going soon, actually."

"Well, that's why I'm here. I was wondering if you'd mind me taking Bella to the station? I've got a couple of errands to run for my parents downtown and I'll be passing right by there…and I wanted to talk to Bella…about some school stuff…so I thought maybe I could drive her for you." He looked from my mom to my dad, who had looked up once again from his paper. My parents looked at each other and then at me.

"Bella?" my mother turned my name into a question.

"Oh…well, sure. It's okay with me. Do you guys mind?"

"Charlie?" my mother looked at my dad again.

"Why would I mind? I don't mind."

"Well, that's fine then. Thank you, Edward. That's very thoughtful of you…really…thoughtful."

"Well, really, it's completely selfish. I just wanted to talk to Bella before she left again and this seemed a good way to have a little time." He grinned at my mom this time…and she smiled back at him. Even she couldn't resist his grin.

"Okay then…" I said, "I'll just get my bag and then we should get going." I looked at Edward beside me. "I'll be right back."

A minute later, overnight bag in hand, I was back in the kitchen, giving hugs to my parents and sister.

"I'll call you soon. Thanks for being so understanding about the apartment. I still can't believe you guys were so 'easy'."

"Well…don't forget…we expect your grades to stay up. That's number one." The unnecessary reminder came from my mother.

"I know…I know. No worries."

And with that, Edward took my bag from me and we headed to the front of the house. It wasn't until we were on the porch, front door closed behind us, that he took my hand and led the way down the steps to his car.

To my credit, I didn't turn around to see if anyone might be peeking at us through the blinds.

My bag was stowed in the back and I was ensconced in the passenger seat before Edward spoke again.

"See…that wasn't so bad." He glanced at me before turning to look back and guide us safely into the street.

"How could it be? We didn't tell them. You had me freaking out over nothing. So…we _are_ waiting until I come home for summer."

"Well…the more I think about it…it's not like we have to really "announce" it…in so many words. We can just start going out and let them gradually come to the realization that I can't live without you and that you feel the same way about me." He looked over at me and grinned while I stared straight ahead.

"Edward…why have we been having such a major issue about this if it's all of a sudden going to become a _non-_issue? I thought you were really angry with me when I didn't want to tell. I _know_ you were really angry with me. It was not fun. Why did you do that to me? If this was a game of some kind, I…well…I don't like playing games in a relationship." I could feel a slow anger of my own…beginning to simmer just below the surface.

I had turned to look at him, as I talked, so I saw the grin slip from his lips and disappear as he listened to my words.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm not playing games…honest, I'm not. I think that, once you said you would tell people, tell our parents, about us…well…then I felt acknowledged. Once you were leading me into the house this morning so I _could_ tell your parents, then I really knew you weren't ashamed of us…of me. I think it's enough for now. I guess I don't need you to actually _prove_ it to me. I do want us to go out without having to sneak or hide, though. I figure our parents aren't dumb. They'll get it. So then, we'll just see what they say…how they take it. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to upset you."

I sat there thinking about what he said…about his explanation. He was silent…stealing quick glances at me as he drove.

"Bella…"

"Don't say anything." I cut him off. "Not yet, okay?"

"…Okay."

We finished the few additional minutes it took to reach the bus station in silence. Edward found a shady parking space under a large tree at the outer corner of the lot and pulled in. The silence between us stretched on. I checked the time on my cell. My bus would leave in thirty minutes.

"Bella…" he began again.

"Don't." I jumped in. "I'm processing."

He looked puzzled…but remained quiet. His eyes moved toward me…and away…and toward me again. He still didn't speak. I did.

"Edward…do you remember the first time we…went to the beach?" He nodded, still silent. "Do you remember you wouldn't tell me where we were going…and we discussed how we felt about surprises?" Another nod. "Well…maybe I'll get better about them one day, but for now, I still hate them. I don't like not knowing what's going on. It makes me feel…anxious. I don't like not knowing what you're going to do next."

I had been looking at my hands where they twisted in my lap while I spoke. I looked over at him now…into eyes that stared back into mine.

"What I'm going to do next, is tell you I'm sorry and ask you to forgive me. I didn't mean for it to be a surprise. I don't think I was sure exactly what I was going to do…but I do know I would never purposely do anything to make you anxious or uncomfortable, Bella. I'm really sorry. Forgive me?"

He reached over, untangling one of my hands so that he could take it in his and pulled me toward him, leaning in to kiss me. It was slow and gentle and sweet. When finally we parted lips, I sighed and nodded, laying my head on his shoulder.

"I love you." His breath ruffled my hair.

"I love you too…so much." We sat quietly. "I wish I didn't have to leave."

All I wanted was to stay where I was and how I was, right now…at this very moment.

"I know. Same here."

I lifted my head and checked the time again.

"I really have to go now, Edward. I've still got to buy my ticket."

"What would happen if you missed this bus?"

"What?"

"What would happen if you missed this particular bus? I mean, there's another one later, this afternoon, isn't there? If you don't have something specific to be back for, couldn't you take the later bus?"

"I suppose I could. I would have been taking that bus if I had slept in this morning. Why?"

"Because I think we should do something. Go somewhere. Be together before you leave. Just…take the later bus, okay? I'll have you back in time to catch that one. I promise."

"But, what about you? Won't your parents be expecting you home soon? What did you tell them anyway?" I realized all he'd told my parents was that he was going to be doing some errands for his.

"All I really need to do is return a rental DVD and go get the car washed. My dad said I could hang out with friends today if I wanted to…in exchange. They're not expecting me home at a certain time."

"Well…"

"Please. Let me make it up to you. Let's just spend some time together today."

It really wasn't a difficult decision.

"I'd like that…a lot. Where will we go?"

Edward reached for the key and started the car before answering.

"It's a surprise!"

And then he laughed out loud.


	32. Letter to my readers

A letter of explanation:

Dear Readers,

It was pointed out to me recently that it has been over a year since I have updated 'Perfect'. It seems hard to believe that much time has gone by. There are two reasons 'Perfect' has languished while I dealt with real life. I'll explain here, not because I feel I need an excuse but because I would hate for you to think I didn't care and appreciate that you've taken the time to read it when there is so much out there competing for your time and attention.

So…the first reason, and one I think I touched on briefly before the last update in August of 2012, was that I had become very invested in the personal relationship of two young actors and, when that relationship was experiencing an upheaval of major proportions, I was very sad and just didn't have it in me to write. (I actually got a comment about how bad it was that I had let that happen…and that stung, I have to admit.) I actually did update once after that…but then real life took a much more personal turn.

I had been having trouble with my eyes, particularly my left, for months...burning, tearing and general misery. My eye doctor, an optometrist, thought it was allergies that were causing my eye to swell and be "extremely inflamed". Courses of steroid eye drops followed by allergy eye drops were tried…but did little to alleviate my discomfort.

Finally, I made an appointment with a specialist…but it was two months from the time I called until I could be seen by the doctor I had chosen. In October of last year, my appointment time finally came. I explained my symptoms, the doctor checked my eyes and told me he didn't think it was an issue with my eye itself…but he was pretty sure there was something going on behind my left eye as it was actually bulging, something I had not really noticed since it had happened gradually and wasn't extreme.

The specialist I saw the following week did some tests, took some measurements and said he was almost positive I had a tumor behind my left eye and that a scan would be necessary to verify if this was so. One week later, I had a CT scan which showed a mass completely surrounding my optic nerve. Since the optic nerve is a cranial nerve (it passes through the brain), I was told that I, technically, had a brain tumor. You can only imagine how completely shocked I was.

CT scans can only show so much apparently, so a few days after that scan I had an MRI in which I was injected with a material that would show more "definition" as to exactly how far back the tumor went toward my brain. (The CT scan sort of "faded out" and it wasn't clear if the tumor had invaded brain tissue.)

The "good news" after the MRI was that the tumor seemed confined to the optic nerve itself…and had not reached the very back where our optic nerves cross one another and enter the brain. The bad news was that the radiologist who read the scan said he couldn't really diagnose what kind of tumor it was just from the scan. The hope had been that it would be a benign tumor called a meningioma…but my tumor was missing the "markers" that meningiomas, almost without exception, had. So…at that point, I knew I had a tumor…but I had no idea what kind.

My specialist sent my scans to UC San Francisco Hospital (I live in California) and the resultant consultation said "We think this is a lymphoma. You need tissue." And the shock continued.

Eight days before Christmas 2012, under general anesthesia, a tissue biopsy was performed on the tumor behind my left eye. A sample was sent to the pathologist while I was still "out". The diagnosis was positive. It WAS a lymphoma…but more tests had to be done to identify exactly what type.

It was the day after Christmas that I found out I had B-Cell Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma.

What followed were more tests, including a full-body PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy (that last is something I hope you never have to undergo). There actually WAS good news after those test results were in. No evidence of lymphoma was found anywhere else in my body (my chances are 50-50 that it will show up somewhere else in the next five years, but for now, I'm good). Since lymphoma almost always comes from and involves your lymph nodes, not finding it there was extremely odd…but a very good thing.

Now we knew that I had Primary Orbital Lymphoma, a rare cancer that makes up only 1% of all cancers and only 8% of all lymphomas. So…it seemed it wasn't anywhere else in my body, but the tumor behind my eye still had to be dealt with.

I began radiation treatments in February of this year (2013) and completed them in March. I've had two MRIs since then. The expected result was that the tumor would be completely gone. Unfortunately, both of the MRIs, the first done two months after treatment ended and the other two months after that, show tumor tissue still reacting to the injected contrast agent. The best guess according to my doctors is that this tissue is either **a)** dormant cancer cells/tissue that could possible stay dormant for years or **b)** scar tissue caused by the radiation or **c)** active cells that didn't get "killed" by the radiation since the tumor was very "bulky" and took up most of the space behind my eye. That last means that it could start growing again. Consequently, I have another MRI scheduled for December.

The slight double vision in my left eye has almost disappeared now, my peripheral vision is back within normal limits and my actual sight is still good. It seems that, while the tumor surrounded my optic nerve completely, it didn't actually adhere to the nerve itself. Really, if I had to have cancer, the type I have is the "best" and if I had to have it behind my eye, at least it hasn't hurt my vision.

I still have more doctors to see in the near future (an endocrinologist is next on the list…since the radiation zapped my pituitary gland, which regulates my thyroid gland…to see if other parts of me are working properly)…but I'm feeling pretty positive about my health these days.

You know…it's not like I didn't do ANYTHING in my life since I was diagnosed…but I have to say that when you take a break from writing…it's very easy to lose your momentum and so 'Perfect' took a backseat to everything else that was going on. I really am sorry for that because I have a feeling that, even though I really feel like writing again, things may be a little "rough" for a while.

Please bear with me, and my story, if my writing isn't up to par. If you give me a few chapters to find my way again, I think it's gonna be good.

If you've made it this far…thanks so much for letting me "bend your ear" about my personal issues.

And now...let's see if I still remember how to upload what I've written!

Becca


	33. Chapter 32

_Chapter Thirty-two_

Edward and I spent the next few hours enjoying my "surprise"…a visit to the wharf of a small, neighboring seaside town. We wandered up and down the warped and weathered boards hand in hand…soaking up sunshine and salty air and sharing a crusty sourdough bread bowl filled with succulent, steaming clam chowder.

It was over all too soon…and I was on the bus and then back at school.

We spent the next few _weeks _cramming for finals and talking when we could and generally being miserable over the distance that separated us once again.

Edward was busy with all the things marking the end of his senior year, including preparing for his graduation. We both accepted the fact that I couldn't attend. I was in the midst of my own end of year madness and we also hadn't yet "come out" to our families. I _would _be home for his birthday…and the plan was that _that_ was definitely going to be celebrated together…somehow.

_I_ was so busy those last days that they passed in a blur, the boundary between day and night having little meaning when I pulled an "all-nighter" a few times to make sure I'd studied enough for a final or to put the finishing touches on a project.

And then, miraculously, the semester was over.

I had two days after my last final to get the contents of my room packed and ready to be transported home. Rose and I spent much of those last days together…sorting through all the bits and pieces of "stuff" we had accumulated through the year and talking all the while about our plans for our summers and our new apartment.

We did take irregular breaks to visit the rooms of our friends, where the same manic level of activity was taking place as we all prepared to head off to different points on the compass. Packing was one of my least favorite things in the world to do but it helped sharing the chore with friends…ordering midnight pizza to bolster our energy, returning to its rightful owner the odd object that had been unearthed after having been borrowed, buried and then forgotten, laughing together and wishing one another a great summer before we returned to start our SENIOR years, promising to keep in touch whenever we could. It was a whirlwind time…and then my dad arrived in his truck and we loaded and tied down all my worldly goods.

I hugged Rose hard, knowing I'd see her in a couple of months but missing her already…and then Dad and I were off. I sighed and settled into the seat next to him as he maneuvered the truck through the obstacle course of other vehicles in various stages of being loaded and finally managed to exit through the campus gates and out into the city. We didn't talk much while he navigated the city streets. My dad was a good driver, but driving through San Francisco, something he was only used to doing a couple of times a year, was a chore requiring his full concentration. Finally…we were on the freeway and headed home.

"Your mom is fixing your favorite dinner tonight," my dad said.

"Yum!" I offered, before returning my stare to the passing scenery and my mind to where it had been wandering. I wasn't sure how or when I would get to see Edward, but that didn't stop me from thinking about how it would be when it happened.

"Uh…Bells?" My dad's voice intruded on my thoughts.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled.

"A little more enthusiasm might be in order when you get home…okay?"

"What? Oh! Sure, Dad. Sorry. My mind was wandering. I'll let Mom know I appreciate it…honest."

"Good…that's good. So…" he continued "…how does it feel to have your third year behind you?"

And, with that, my mind was dragged back into the present and we talked a little about the past year and at some length about the year to come…including the ins and outs of occupying my first apartment.

We had about half the drive still to go when our conversation dwindled to the occasional sentence and my mind was once again free to occupy itself with other thoughts. I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes.

"Bella…Bells, honey. Wake up. We're home." A gentle shaking of my shoulder accompanied my dad's voice and pulled me up from sleep.

"Oh, sorry Dad. I can't believe I actually fell asleep on you." I released my seat belt and stretched as much as the space allowed.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure the last couple of weeks were busy ones, huh?"

"You've got that right," I agreed.

The front door opened and my mother and sister came down the steps of the porch. By the time they reached the truck, I'd managed to climb out and went into their open arms for a group hug.

"You're home for the summer!" my little sister smiled and squeezed a bit tighter.

"So…you missed me?"

"Yeah…a little."

"Good to hear, Shrimp." I squeezed back.

My mom stood back and smiled at me. "Now then…let's all help and we can get your things inside before dinner. I made your favorite."

"No one can make corned beef and cabbage like you do, Mom. Thank you so much!"

My mother beamed.

We moved to the rear of the truck where my dad had already been working to remove the cords that had kept my things safely tucked in for our trip home. After a few trips, when the last of my things had been stacked in a free corner, I plopped onto my bed and let out a groan.

Mom frowned.

"Are you alright, Bella?"

"I'm good, Mom…just really more tired than I thought. When's dinner?"

"Not for about an hour or so. It'll wait a little longer than that if you'd like a nap."

"Actually, I'm thinking a shower. I'm hoping that will revive me."

She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and then laid her hand there. "It's so nice to know we've got you home for more than a weekend. I miss you, you know."

"I miss you too, Mom. It's good to be home."

As my mother left my room and was closing the door behind her, I heard her say, "Your sister is going to have a shower before dinner, Angela. You can talk to her then…" and my door clicked shut.

I really was tired after all the hectic packing and loading and the drive home but there was one thing I had to do before I got into the shower.

Taking my cell phone from my pocket, I quickly typed in two words, "I'm home." I hit "send", dropped my cell on the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later I was back in my room, my body wrapped in a towel and another fashioned into a turban around my wet hair. I grabbed up my phone to see that there were four messages waiting for me. The first was "Yes!" and sent a minute after that… "Hello?"…followed by "Bella, where are you?" and finally, "Why do you do this to me?"

I tapped in Edward's number and he answered almost immediately.

"What the hell, Bella? What happened to you? I get an 'I'm home' and then you disappear?"

"Are you mad?"

"I should be."

"But are you?"

"I guess…not. You're home…and you don't have to leave in one or two days. How can I be mad at that?"

"Good. I didn't want you mad. I just wanted you to know I was home…but I was desperate for a shower. I called you as soon as I got out. In fact, I'm still in my towel."

"Now I'm mad! You're a tease!"

"I know, I know…I'm so mean. I have to make sure you're still interested, Edward."

"Yeah…I'm still interested. So when…and how…can I see you?"

"I don't know. My mom's fixed dinner and it's my first night home so tonight is probably out. I'll see what's on the agenda for tomorrow and call you later. I really have to get dressed and dry my hair now. Talk to you soon, okay? Love you…"

"I love you." A pause. "Bye."

And with that he was gone and I made myself get moving.

Dinner was a chance to reconnect with my family and I enjoyed every morsel of my "special" meal while I was filled in on everything that had been going on since I'd last been home. It was sweet to see my sister so excited about finishing junior high and preparing for high school. I was surprised at how memories of my own transition between the two resurfaced so easily.

We were almost finished with dinner when my mother said "It seems Edward is looking forward to joining you in San Francisco this fall."

"What?" I swallowed the bite of food that now seemed to be at least three times bigger than when I'd put it in my mouth.

"Esme says Edward is already making lists in preparation for moving into the dorms. I guess he's pretty excited about joining you in the city. You must have done a great job with your tour that weekend he went up to visit."

"Ummm…yeah…well, he'd already been accepted, you know. He just wanted a good look at the campus and dorms. I think he'd already made up his mind really."

I felt the warmth of a slight blush on my cheeks. The picture that came unbidden to my mind was that of Edward fresh from the dorm shower…with the towel slung low on his hips…and that picture led to ones in which the towel was conspicuously absent.

The heat I felt beneath my skin intensified. It was best to get off this topic of conversation.

"So," I turned to my dad, "I guess I should call to see exactly when they want me to start work this year. I haven't talked to anyone at the company since they called when I was on spring break and said they wanted me back."

Our talk turned to summer plans and continued while we all cleared the table and headed into the kitchen. It was funny how easily I seemed to slip into place in the family routine. I liked how "at home" I still felt, even though I spent the majority of my time away now.

The conversation continued to ebb and flow around me but my thoughts were elsewhere. I wondered if this would be my last summer at home. I would graduate next year…and I had no idea what I would be doing after that. I hadn't decided if I wanted to go to grad school or just find a job. I did know that I wanted to stay in the city. Edward would still have at least three more years of school at that point. There was no way I wanted to be here if he was there. We'd had enough of a long-distance relationship already. I _was_ sure I didn't want that again!

With the kitchen cleaned, the television was clicked on in the family room and my parents and sister found their usual spots in relation to it. I was ready to make my escape.

"I'm going to get some unpacking done, Mom…of my clothes, at least. Gotta see what I have that's suitable for work. And I have dirty laundry packed in one of my suitcases."

"Do you want to do that tonight? I'm sure it'll wait until tomorrow." My mom suggested.

"I might need to go shopping tomorrow. I haven't worked since last summer…so I know I'm going to have to get a few things before I start back. I think I'll sort it out now."

"Alright then. Let me know if you need some help."

"I've got it. And thanks for a terrific welcome home dinner. It was great!"

My mother beamed again.

"You're welcome, sweetie. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Once back in my room, I lugged my suitcases out of the corner and hauled them up onto the bed. Then I grabbed my phone.

He answered immediately.

"Hey," he said, "so dinner's finished?"

"It is. I'm back in my room…staring at three cases full of clothes. I've got to do some laundry and sort through things and see what might be okay for work…and what I still need to buy."

"I'm not going to see you tonight, am I?"

"Mmmm…no, I don't think so. As much as I want to, if I were to go out tonight, it would have to be a pretty quick trip. However…if I sort through my clothes tonight, I see an extended shopping trip in my immediate future. I'm thinking it would probably take almost all day tomorrow. I'm also thinking I might just happen to run into you at the mall. How does that sound?"

"It sounds great except for the "all day" part. I have some things I have to do for my parents in the morning. I probably can't meet you until after lunch."

"That still works. I can sleep in for at least a little while then. It'll be the first time in weeks that I haven't had to be up early. How about we meet by the fountain near the food court? At about one?"

With our rendezvous set as to time and place, I punched "speaker phone" and our talk turned to random subjects while I emptied my dirty laundry into the basket in my closet and sorted and put away the clean clothes from the other cases.

"I can't wait to see you, Bella. It seems like it's been a lot longer than just a few weeks."

"I know. It seems that way for me too…but I'll see you tomorrow and we'll have loads of time then."

"See you tomorrow then. Goodnight. Love you."

"'Night, Edward. Love you too..."

I hit "end call" with a smile on my face.


End file.
